Sailing on...take two!

Remember three years ago when Connor ended his time at our beloved Waldorf school? I do. Like it was yesterday. Helen, too, has ended her stint at Waldorf school. And this time, it was even harder to say good-bye. Oh, we'll go back for the fall festival and maybe the auction dinner for a few years - but realistically, our time at the school has ended.

There will be no more daily trips to South Arlington - no more juggling cars and different start times to make sure each child ends up at the right place at the right time each morning.

There will also be no more playground drop-offs. Unlike Connor, Helen knows this is coming. I still get choked up when I think of that first morning dropping Connor off in first grade. I knew he was in good hands. And I'm desperately hoping that Helen will be placed in those same good hands. But still, when you spend three years of your life being dropped off on the playground, it's quite jarring to be dropped off in a classroom - with desks - that are used for sitting!

In her first grade readiness evaluation, Helen's teacher had no doubt she was ready to move on. But he also noted that Helen has a shy side. She didn't show this often in Kindergarten this past year, but when faced with something new, Helen will turn inwards. She'll wait and watch until she figures something out, these days, and then she'll try and do it better than anyone else. Sometimes, this is a winning strategy. Sometimes, this is a strategy that results in a lot of anxiety. I have a feeling we'll both be doing a lot of slow breathing these next few months.

Helen's last handwork project in Kindergarten was making a sword. She cut the wood, fitted it together, sanded it carefully, and sewed a case to keep it in. She loves this sword. She's ready to take on the world.

At her year-end class picnic, Helen jumped rope for so long, her teacher nearly ran out of songs to sing. Helen was not only pleased, she shouted to me the glory of her accomplishment. Will there be anyone to turn the rope for her daily next year - or support whatever new thing she tries to tackle?

Helen, you are more ready than you could possibly know to take on the next phase of your life. I only wish I was as ready to say good-bye!

Elaine

And kudos to my mom. She made the dress Helen is wearing when I was a little girl. I loved that dress, and remember showing anyone who would watch how far it would twirl out. At her current school, she is the envy of all her friends in that dress. Will the new girls in her class understand the fabulousness of this dress? Or will they only see it as not something girls typically wear? 

Playing on the Carpet

Helen and I spend most Friday afternoons together. A few weeks ago, we built a puppet show using many of the silks we have dyed together. Helen must be a little wiser than I give her credit for, because at one point, she covered our spring display with a carpet of snow.

This story was about a King and Queen who lived in a castle. The castle was surrounded by water. Beyond the water was a beautiful meadow, full of flowers that bloomed during the show. There was also a little pond and a dirt bank. At one point, the scene was covered with a white cloth as it snowed.

Tonight?

Yes, it snowed a bit.

Helen performed the show in a ridiculous wig that she purchased with her OWN MONEY. (Thank you, Grandpa Rodney for the shiny $10 bill you gifted Helen the last time you were in town. It's been burning a hole in her pocket for a while now.

I had the opportunity to sit with Helen's assistant teacher (whom she adores) this past Friday morning at a class potluck and Mrs. M. told me about a day that Helen and her friend G. had the whole class entranced in a puppet show they had created. There sat twelve children, watching these two girls. Only one child had a cell phone that beeped in the middle of the performance, and he was quickly escorted out of the show by a police officer. The rest of the audience thought that was hilarious.

I'm going to miss these days next year.

Elaine

Happy Month 81, Connor!

Dear Connor,

Counting your age in months is truly ridiculous. I get that. But my mind is a sieve these days, and I feel the memories of you and your sister slipping almost as soon as I think to myself "I hope I remember this"! Your sister and you compound the feeling by requesting stories "about me" all the time.

In the past two months, you have fire balled into a Monopoly mania that calls you like heroin calls it's addicts. If the mania doesn't stop soon, there's going to be an intervention. You now have three versions of the game, and one of these versions has three games within it. You have mastered the art of "buy-buy-buy", and only occasionally find yourself too strapped for cash to survive. When nobody will sate your desires to play the game, you've been known to just play by yourself. You have not been known to have the imaginary person you play against make good decisions. You're a lucky man that your babysitter seems to have missed out on Monopoly when she was growing up. She's making up time with you.

You are a two-wheeled rider and adore your new 20" bike. You are totally rocking it.

My friend Jean wrote an amazing post about her son with autism. In it, she carries forward an analogy from Paul Collins' book "Not Even Wrong". In the book, he states "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." Jean carries this forward by noting that all people are different. And here is where I started thinking about you.

In a Waldorf school, the early childhood program uses a wet-on-wet technique to paint. It's one of the more serene artistic experiences I've ever been witness to. The rationale behind the method is well documented, the chief reason for its use being that at this age, children should experience the emotion and feel of the color, not be concerned with the shape. In our public school, the children are asked to paint with Tempera paints. The most common exercise with paint seems to be filling in previously drawn lines. You can probably imagine how Connor felt when faced with this task. If you can't, I'll lay it out for you. He was in tears. In art class. Does that strike you as extremely sad? Because that's how it strikes me. Isn't art supposed to be one of those classes where a kid gets to express him or herself creatively, without being super constrained? I tend to think so.

Here's an example of some of Connor's work from last year.

I have to give the art teacher a hat tip, though. I like her a lot. She used to belong to the same studio I belonged to. She's clearly a great artist. The day after Connor cried in class, sobbing "yes, I understand you're not mad at me", she found me in the hall and told me the story. I almost started crying right there. Maybe we both wear our hearts on our sleeves, Connor? As soon as she started telling me about the class and about the tears, I started explaining Connor's background. I talked to her about the merits of the technique he was used to, how it evolved each year of schooling, how Connor is actually quite skilled at it.

At first, the art teacher was mostly "well, he's at public school now, and this is what we do", but then she softened and said she could see why wet-on-wet would be a good technique. She offered to give Connor an extra painting lesson so he could have a better chance of doing what was expected of him in art class. I took her up on that offer - even though it is the ultimate in capitulation. Connor and I attended a painting class with her a couple of days ago. During that class, she started talking about the technique they were performing in class. So I asked the question I wish I heard more often: "WHY?". Her answer was generally "Because it's part of the curriculum, and I see your point that it's not really painting, per se, it's more like illustration, but in the end, kids here can produce a painting that looks like something they want very early". BINGO. Parents, apparently, want to see finished work that has real forms in it, so our children are being taught the most uncreative method I can think of in order to accomplish this. Draw lines. Fill them in. Rinse. Repeat. Don't let the paint influence the art, make the paint fit into the art.

And the whole thing made me feel like some square part of you, Connor had just been damaged. And that just hurts. And it doesn't just hurt you and me, it hurts everyone who won't benefit from this particular creative strength you bring to the process.

I can say, this is by far the biggest disappointment I've had with your school, and I must also remember that just a few days, I was on cloud 9 because two non-teacher staff members had gone out of their way to tell me "I know I'm not supposed to say this, but I just love Connor". When that happened, all I could think was "I'm counting on you to love him". I was glad.

Much love, Connor. Just know that I celebrate your square edges. I'm sorry one of them got pounded.

Love,
Mom

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 21 - Let Your Friends Bail You Out

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview - as it comes up.

Friend and fellow blogger over at Thrift Store Mama is bailing me out today. We've spent many hours bouncing ideas off each other. She's writing today about balance, and how to find it. I could easily title her post "Find Balance In Your Life". And, just as my friend states below, balance is not her initial reaction to new information. Instead, she's one of these people who try and learn as much as possible about something, breathing the new thing in daily. This, for the record, can be very inspiring.

So...enjoy! And check out my friend's blog when you get a chance. She's a hoot - I promise! In the post below, Beezus refers to her older daughter and Mr. Q. refers to her husband. As background, we met when our children were infants so she's one of my friends who truly holds those early days of Connor's. I watched her oldest daughter take her first steps - and I remember it being so crazy like "did she just do that?" and then looking at my friend with tears in her eyes. It was possibly more moving that watching my own children's first steps.

Thank you, Thrift Store Mama! I've enjoyed our ride together and look forward to the next 6 or more years! You've been a walking advice column for me many times over.

Achieving Balance Between a Waldorf Lifestyle and the Demands/Influences of the Rest of the World

I was exposed to the concepts of the Waldorf pedagogy when Beezus was around 3. I stumbled across a non-profit organization called the Alliance for Childhood and their writings REALLY jived with me. As I tend to do with new things, I over-did it at first. My sisters and husband can attest to this idiosyncrasy of mine! For a while, I read anything I could get my hands on about Waldorf, visited a local Waldorf school, and purchased Waldorf toys and books. I plotted reorganizing my work schedule and our family budget so that Beezus could attend a Waldorf school. During a visit to a Waldorf school with Mr. Q, I won him over to my side and he agreed to move forward with getting Beezus into this Waldorf School.

After a few months the time came to either apply or not. We just couldn't seem to make it happen - between the logistics required to make it work with my part-time job, the tuition, and the stress that both of those previous considerations would have on our family life, it just wasn't meant to be.

But I found that I could implement some of the Waldorf teachings into our home and yet at the same time, I also admitted to myself that there were some aspects of a Waldorf education that I didn't see as completely necessary. What we wound up with was a lovely balance of some of the aspects of the Waldorf education that I could wholeheartedly support, along with the ease of family life that came with having Beezus enrolled in a pre-school that is 3/4 of a mile from our house.

Some of these teachings we had already implemented in our home - our children already watched very limited TV and through exposure to a Montessori parent-child class and my sister's Reggio-Emilia classroom, we had organized, uncluttered spaces for the girls’ toys.  But as for the rest, here is how we implemented an approach to have the Waldorf pedagogy incorporated into our family life:

·         Rhythm.  It looks like a schedule and parts of the rhythm are derived from a schedule, but the difference between a rhythm and a schedule (at least in my words) is that a schedule comes from external forces and a rhythm comes from internal forces. (But don't get me wrong, I also have lots and lots of schedules to help me run our home.) This family rhythm encompasses following the same routine as we greet each day, every day, whether a weekday or a weekend. It encompasses predictability among what we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (this makes cooking at home and meal planning SO easy). It encompasses a schedule for what types of clothes are worn on which days, depending on the activities at school or after school.

·         Little TV.  Our children watch an average of 20-30 minutes of TV per day. Some days they watch a little more, some days they watch none. Waldorf encourages no TV for young children.

·         Childhood is protected.  Our children are protected from the harsher realities of the adult (and teen/tween) world. They only watch age appropriate TV - no Disney/Nick tween shoes and nothing that has any scary parts. If they come out of their bedroom while I’m watching GLEE or the Real Housewives of Wherever, I quickly pause and mute!

·         Live theater & storytelling.  Yet, they see a tremendous amount of live children's theater - I would guess between 5 and 8 shows per year. They are able to switch in and out of make believe when it is live theater, but trying to watch a movie is dreadful. Case in point, they totally handled the stage production of Charlotte's Web, but absolutely cannot watch the movie. We've tried. We try to always attend the festivals at local Waldorf schools, so that they can see the puppet/marionette shows, and they've attended over local puppet/marionette shows as well.

·         Childhood is safe.  Our children do not learn or hear about adult topics that don't directly concern them. They do not see the newspaper or hear/see the news, whether on the radio or on the TV. I don't want them to hear that people die in car accidents or in airplanes. But when the neighbor's pets die, or when our own pets died, yes, then we talked about death. A lot. When the priest who married us was sick and dying, and then when he died, they knew about that. But we only answered their questions and tried not to provide additional information. We are completely inflexible and unyielding on this.

·        Imaginary play. We let our children play, and play, and play. We try not to interfere when they are immersed in play and if they are really involved in play and I need to go to the grocery store or something and there's no way around it, I try to work it in to their play.

My friend's younger daughter puts on a drum show, similar to one she saw at a folk festival.



Found objects provide the perfect opportunity for a classroom.
Beware! Children partaking in uninterrupted play outside.

·       Order.  All of the girls toys and materials are organized. ALL of them. This is really more of a Montessori and Reggio-Emilia approach, but I think the order helps keep the rhythm of the Waldorf day.

·       Rhythm of nature. As the seasons change, we talk a lot about them. When Beezus says she is cold, I answer that yes, she is cold because it is fall.

·       Light. We are a religious family so the presence of light (and of THE LIGHT) is part of our family rhythm. Although I dread the shortening days for my own mental health (self diagnosed seasonal affective disorder) I love that it gives the opportunity to discuss the coming light of the winter solstice and/or the light of Jesus.

In other areas, we don't stick to the letter of the Waldorf teachings.

·         We have plastic toys and materials in our home.

·         Although the girls do a LOT of coloring, they don't do a lot of painting or other art.

·         As they have gotten older, we have sometimes been less mindful of the rhythm of the middle of our day, rushing from one activity to another without the opportunity to have some downtime in-between.

·         Our children watch TV.

·         We let the girls listen to pop/rock music from the 60s and 70s and they also occasionally hear music from the radio.

I’m sure there are lots of other things we do that aren’t necessarily part of the Waldorf teachings. I offer that up as an all-encompassing disclaimer.

When people are passionate about something, it’s often hard to find a balance.  Some of the questions I ask myself when considering something in order to achieve a balance is:

·         Is it necessary?

·         Is it a one-time thing?

·         Will it have a profound and or long lasting impact?

Overall, I’m pleased with the balance we have achieved in this area.  There are a couple areas for improvement, but I think we’re able to walk a good line.

So - from me you have "Let Your Friends Bail You Out" - thank you, friend. It wasn't until I had almost finished posting this that I came up with an idea for today. It was nice to use yours instead. And from my friend you have "Find Balance In Your Life".

Elaine

Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Day 16: Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse
Day 17: Understand the Price of Success
Day 18: Question Everything
Day 19: Drink Great Wine with Old Friends
Da7 20: Never Be a Volunteer at a Street Show in New Orleans

Without Even a Glance Backward

This morning, Helen attended summer camp with Connor. It is the first time she's been dropped off without an adult being present, unless you count the time I had a kidney stone and dumped her off with a friend who was NINE MONTHS pregnant at the time. I went to the playdate for about a half hour before I headed to the doctor as a follow-up to my evening in the ER. (And don't worry, as my childcare has been unstable these past few weeks, with the leaving of one au pair and the arrival of another, I warned my friend to not allow me near her, lest she end up watching my kids again - with little to no notice!)

Helen let Ed know that she had been looking forward to being dropped off, (OK, Helen, I know!). After Ed dropped Connor and Helen off, he reported to me that Helen ran right onto the playground without even looking back. I'm guessing she was nervous that if she looked back, someone would notice her and she'd be taken home, clutched from her beloved "drop-off" experience.

Elaine

Sailing On



The boat Connor has been making in Kindergarten.

 Tomorrow, in all likelihood, Connor will attend his last class ever at Potomac Crescent Waldorf School. Barring unforeseen circumstances, Connor will start first grade in the Fall at our neighborhood school. I've told more than one parent that sending my children to a Waldorf school was quite possibly the best parenting decision I've ever made - and I wasn't exaggerating. What I didn't always tell them that it wasn't just for my kids, it was good for me, too.

The thing I learned most from observing my children in parent-child class (the first class Connor attended) was that sometimes, it's important to just be present. It's not necessary for me to come up with constantly stimulating entertainment, or train my children how to do things like read, write, and sit still. It wasn't necessary for me to talk to my children constantly, and make sure their toys had bright lights and exciting tunes. An endless supply of batteries was overrated, for sure.

What my children needed most, in these early years, was for me to recognize each of their gifts, and to be there to catch them when they fell, but not always be the one to pick them up. Because what Connor has taught me over and over again, is that the thrill he gets from accomplishing something on his own is unmatched by any other thrill.

When Connor was a little guy, we'd often hoist him up onto a step to view something. He would then fall off. It took a while for Ed and I to figure out that Connor is the kind of kid who needed to map where he was. If Connor climbed onto an object, it was rare that he would fall off. And you know what? Today Connor can climb more steadily than I ever would've imagined, he can run without tripping (most days), he can direct his body to do pretty much anything he wants to do.

I stumbled upon Waldorf education in the unlikeliest of ways. I was pregnant with Helen, and I knew I needed something that Connor and I could do after her birth that would remind him that I was still available to him. I also needed to remind myself that I could still be available to him, even when I was in the throes of a baby who screamed all night from painful reflux. A friend of mine who I respect deeply couldn't stop telling me about how lucky he felt that he happened into Waldorf education for his child. He would tell me things like "Elaine, I sometimes don't even speak up when people complain about their school experiences because I feel so guilty that I found something so good and they're stuck where they are". For the record, their child now attends public school and adores it. After several of these conversations, I googled "Waldorf School, Arlington, Virginia" and I felt like I hit the jackpot when I found one. Connor's and my first parent-child year was a touchstone in a sea of what must have been great uncertainty for him.

For the past two years, Connor has been in the 5-day Kindergarten class. He's been blessed with a male teacher - whom he adores, the nicest assistant teacher in the world, a half-day program - which I adore since it allows he and Helen to spend their afternoons together, and an incredible place to build, climb, imagine, negotiate, paint, and draw. And so much more.

Last year, parting in the morning was hard for quite possibly the whole year. He didn't cry, but he didn't want to always let go either. So his teacher would scoop him up into his arms, and let him wave until Ed's or my car left the parking lot. It wasn't sadness that drove Connor, it was just that he liked being with his parent. Another parent in the school once observed this and said "do you see that? That's the reason I know you'll be back next year even though you're planning on going to public school Kindergarten". And she was right. We came back. And the only moment I've ever looked back at that decision is the day Ed wrote the tuition check. Every other day I've loved that decision we made. Even if I did have to live through a migraine to make it.

This year, Connor barely has time to bid Ed or I farewell. He bursts into the gates of the playground, checks out who else is there, decides whether he's going to try and claim the giant hollowed out stump as his dish factory, his rocket ship, his cave, or whatever else it might be for the day - or whether he's going to look for fun in the sandbox, at the climbing wall, or in the tree.

He's such a different kid. He told me today he doesn't want to go to our neighborhood school. He wants to be in Kindergarten for two more years. He wants to make a sword - something the 6 year olds in the class got to do this year, and he wants to be in class with Helen - something that is theoretically possible. Not only does a child have to be 6.5 before entering first grade, a child also has to pass certain readiness tests, which include jumping rope, walking on a balance beam, and other random things that I know sound completely ridiculous, but in the context of the school make a lot of sense.

I know you would love being in your Kindergarten class one more year, Connor. And maybe the neighborhood school will be a disaster and you'll end up back there. But for now, Connor, I just feel something deep in my gut that says you're going to love first grade.

Love,
Mommy

Homemade Friday: Felt Mice

Prior to Spring break, all of the children at Connor and Helen's school planted grass gardens. In Helen's class, we felted small eggs, and in Connor's class, the children felted larger eggs. The parents in Helen's class then added a little mouse made from felt to their child's basket. Naturally, Connor wanted one as soon as he got wind of Helen getting one.

I love making these little critters.

Elaine

Homemade Friday: Waldorf Heavy Babies

I attended a heavy baby making workshop at the kids' school last Saturday. I now completely understand why heavy babies cost $90+. They're really hard to make. Really hard.

Luckily, the workshop was led by two moms in the school who are absolute handwork experts, so I was able to walk away with two babies that looked great.

I started with the kit from Dream Pixie. I had the clothing pre-made which is a good thing, because I never would've finished the project had I had to sew clothing for the dolls.

For the record, Connor has never been interested in dolls. Except this one. He's carried it around a bit, played with it, and slept with it every night since I made it. It was no surprise that Helen loved hers.

Elaine

Arming Myself With a Public School Instruction Manual

With Spring around the corner, and the first marigold seeds started in the greenhouse, it's impossible for me not to think about the end of the school year. After much thought, a few tears, and more than a few headaches, we have decided to send Connor to our lovely public school up the street.

I am completely comfortable with the decision. But that doesn't mean that it's not hard. After all, Connor has been at the same Waldorf school since he turned two, when he and I desperately needed a touchstone in the midst of Helen's arrival. Every week (except the day Helen was born), Connor and I spent our Friday morning together at parent-child class. Before class, I would nurse Helen, hand her over to whomever was caring for her, race to school, and then take a deep breath. Connor and I made snack, knit a small blanket (me) or played with inside toys (Connor), played hand games, ate snack (me) or watched other people eat snack (Connor), played outside, and then watched a puppet play. And then I would race home as fast as I could, and feed Helen again. It was a weekly ritual that set us straight more than once over the next year and a half.

Connor would go on to attend a semester of 3-day Kindergarten, and then two years of 5-day Kindergarten. I consider keeping him in that Kindergarten class the second year, rather than sending him to public school, among the best parenting decisions Ed and I have ever made, for a variety of reasons. Looking back, I'm even more sure of it than I was when Ed and I made the decision. Connor has spent the past year doing everything I think is important. He's focused on manual work (maintaining the classroom, sawing logs for the annual bonfire), imaginative and creative play (you should've seen his rendition of Rumpelstiltskin a few days ago when he went to visit his friend H. - I will forever be sad I didn't capture it on video), and substantive work (forming a cohesive class unit). At Connor's conference a few days ago, Mr. K. noted that Connor had a very strong friendship with one boy, often would join the girls in their kitchen play, but melted easily into anything else that interested him. In short, it's been a fantastic year. Connor runs to the playground each day, with barely a glance back at whomever drops him off for the day. That's a big change from those first days of parent-child, when he would not leave my side for very long at all.

And just as Connor has learned the rhythms of the school, so have I. I've changed from being a hurried parent in the parent-child class - who barely knew what was going on in the school, to being the Treasurer of the board, with stints as newsletter editor, volunteer coordinator for the Fall Festival, and Silent Auction assistant along the way. Finally, I know the ins and out of the school. Rather than seeing a few familiar faces at community gatherings, I see almost all familiar faces. Rather than stressing about certain discipline issues, I know exactly how to handle them. What once seemed completely foreign to me is now second nature. I'm happy to go toe to toe with anyone on why Waldorf education works. As the principal at our public school told me when I fretted about some things Connor will not have been taught when he enters public school "my experience is that Waldorf children come ready to learn". And he is. He is perfectly prepared.

But now the work starts again. We'll both be learning new ropes, for a new system, and I'll be asking for advice from all my neighbors. But especially the one who sent her children to the same Waldorf school Connor went to. She's been heaven sent, so far.

Elaine

This post was inspired by the book "Mr. Rosenblum Dreams in English" by Natasha Solomons. When Mr. Rosenblum first moves to England, he is handed a manual detailing all the important customs of a proper Englishman. He sets about adding to it. I only hope our journey through public education ends as nicely as Mr. Rosenblum's. It was a fantastic book that I cannot wait to pass onto a friend. As a member of the From Left to Write book club, I received a free copy of the book. This post was inspired by it.

Homemade Friday: Week 3

I realize this is actually week 4, but last week I was busy complaining about being in the hospital for an enormous kidney stone, that is now, thankfully - out of my body. Fortunately for you, I cannot share a photo of my impressive sized stone because in order to remove it, the doctor had to play Asteroids on my insides and pulverize the sucker. (And, for those keeping score, trying to pass a 7mm kidney stone is like having back labor for a week and making little to no progress and not getting a baby at the end, making it far inferior to the pain that goes with birthing a baby. So, I'm calling it now. The pain from kidney stones is worse than the pain from labor - at least one this large. I'm still thinking if it were smaller I could've passed it without having to go under general anasthesia. I hope I never have to find out though.)

Anyway, this week I'm sharing four wee people that I made for Helen and Connor, along with instructions for making Wee People - mostly because I looked all over for instructions and couldn't find them easily.


On the first and third days of Christmas, I gifted Connor and Helen each a "wee person". I purchased a few of these at the school's annual Fall Festival a couple of years ago, but then two of them got lost in the great backpack caper of 2009. So, I'd been meaning to replace them for a while.

I made these wee people by bending a pipe cleaner into the shape of a body. For two of them, I then wound embroidery floss around the pipe cleaner which actually takes an enormous amount of time and patience. Plus, it's hard to cover up all that fuzz from the pipe cleaner. For the next two, I took a shortcut and rather than winding floss around the pipe cleaner, I simply found some beads that could serve as hands and feet and glued them on.

The heads are made from round wooden beads I found in the craft store that have holes drilled through  them. Simply pop the beads onto the neck and then find some sort of head covering so the wee person doesn't look as if it has a hole in it's head. After completing the basic form, I then cut out felt clothes, sewed them on and voila! Here are four wee people enjoying residence in a little fairy house the kids play with.

Elaine

Homemade Friday: Week 2

Connor's beloved assistant teacher will be leaving school when her baby is born in a few weeks. For almost two years now, she's sat at snack table with him and tried to figure out how to get him to eat a snack other than rice and fruit. She introduced Connor to the idea of putting salt on rice, and he came home a few months ago to tell me it gave the rice a "very interesting flavor" and asked if we could try it at home. He now salts his rice just like Mrs. G. does. She's put up with his claims of being allergic to whatever food is served that he "doesn't care for" and she's taught him to turn down those foods very politely. Which is good, because I don't want my friend Sher to be writing about him on her blog some day! She's also turned the rope as he tried to learn to jump it, hugged him when he needed it, and she's sat back and let him imagine incredible worlds.

Connor is so lucky to have had her as a teacher, and last year when his main teacher's wife had a baby, she was the perfect fill-in for his very brief absence. She's kind, she seems to be always happy, she has incredible handwork skills, she's super interesting, and her patience is something I admire. In short, she's the kind of person I think most of us want our children interacting with. For Christmas, I knit up this little baby hat, which I hope her baby enjoys wearing as much as I enjoyed making.

Elaine

A New Creation Myth, Brought to you by Connor

A couple of weeks ago, I co-hosted a cookie decorating party for the children in my mom's group. I provided the house and the cookies, Amanda provided the doo-dads to go on top (and Laurie and Susan both brought frosting leftover from their daughters birthday parties earlier in the year to add to Amanda's quite extensive collection of doo-dads - apparently age 5 is the age of cookie decorating!).

I think I have discovered Connor's favorite thing about Christmas.

And Helen performed her own physics experiment, testing just how strong the cookie was.

In some ways, I love a party like this. Even though both Helen and Connor know I really do not like messes, I want them to know that sometimes, I'm totally OK with them. My mom was like that. Nobody would confuse her for someone who wanted to live in a messy house - and her house is rarely messy - but she was always letting my sister and I have friends over, and I'm sure we were anything but neat and tidy.

After the cookie decorating, Connor busted out his latest puppet show. It was a story about how the world came to be. He recruited his friends Eamon and Zoe to help out. I'm not sure they knew what was going on, but everyone seemed to have a fun time.

My friend Marya wins the award for being most engaged audience member. It's obvious she has a background in education. She really pays attention, she absorbs what's going on, she puts the action into context with what she sees happening.

At times, it's hard to stay the course with Waldorf education. I see Connor's friends reading and writing legibly, and clearly doing more academic things than he is. But when I see the joy in Connor's face and the creativity in what he's pursuing, my heart rests easy.

Elaine

Happy Saint Nicholas Day!

Growing up, I always thought St. Nicholas Day was pretty special. Not only did little chocolates appear in my shoes, but it was my sister's birthday.

Ed did not celebrate the holiday growing up, so it took him several tries to get it right. And now, I think he's grateful we have kids so that I just take care of it, rather than expecting some little gift from him.

At school, Connor's teacher has been telling stories about Bishop Nicholas. And on Friday, the children left their indoor shoes out (rather than putting them in their cubbies) with a carrot. I didn't realize St. Nicholas was supposed to get a carrot, and he didn't get one at our house, but given that the school has a German foundation, I suspect Mr. K. is right about this one.

Tomorrow morning, my children will be greeted with a couple of books, some tiny pads of paper, a few chocolates, and the homemade fairies I just finished. Ed even complimented them by saying they looked professional. They could be destroyed in minutes, but it'll be some fun minutes, I hope.

Elaine

Four Years and No Unintended Fires: Waldorf School Lantern Walk

As the days grow shorter, Waldorf schools join many cultural traditions by having a celebration centered around light. Children prepare their lanterns during school and at our school, the entire early childhood program joins together at a park to share a snack and then light their lanterns and take a walk, singing a little song one evening.

The first year we did this, I couldn't enjoy it. All I could think about was the fact that I was surrounded by children, many as young as two years old, carrying lanterns made of paper and tissue paper. As you might expect, a two year old doesn't necessarily carry her lantern mindful of the candle inside. Instead, they swing their lanterns around, and seem at times to forget completely that they have a lighted candle. With each wave of a lantern, I offer up a little prayer that nothing catches fire. Did I mention dry leaves typically cover the ground? So far, we've made it through four years with no fires. I call that a raging success.

As time has passed, I've become a lot calmer about the celebration. And, our collection of lanterns has grown so that now we have four (I suspect one was lost in the move, though it's possible one just wore out since one lanter walk never seems to be enough at our house). This means that everyone in the family can carry one.

So far this year, we've had the school walk and two of our own. Helen can't quite make it all the way around the block without being carried some, and Connor's candle always seems to burn out. It appears that Connor has become fascinated with watching the wax from the tea light melt and pool, and then he tips his lantern to pour the wax out into the bottom of his lantern. At that point, he just borrows Ed's or my lantern and carries on. Last night, he was particularly excited to wave his lantern when a car drove down an alley we passed.

The blue lanterns were made by me in parent-child class. Connor made the lantern with leaves last year in Kindergarten and he made the tin can lantern in Kindergarten this year.

I was thinking about this tradition recently when my friend Ellen asked me about how Waldorf schools taught the kids about seasons. They never sit down and talk about the leaves turning from green to gold, but the circle often center around seasonal happenings. They also never talk about the days being shorter, but that's exactly what the children learn from the lantern walk. Where once there was light during the early evening, now there is dark. So, we make our own light and enjoy the crispness of the air.

Elaine

My budding feminist

My friend Ellen has pointed out that her daughter is a budding feminist theologian. I say, you practice what you preach - or in this case, are preached to. And as in her house, we're feminists. And Helen is no exception.

Friday, Helen and I attended our parent-child class. Every class ends with a puppet play performed by either the lead or assistant teacher. The same story is told for three weeks, and then a new story is told.

In case you wondered whether a 3 year old could pay attention to a puppet show, they can. The kids sit mesmerized by the action. Helen started class by requesting a puppet show from two weeks ago be repeated. I actually didn't even clue into what she was requesting (though the teacher did) until it came time for the puppet show and Helen made her request again.

She didn't get the one she wanted (the teacher is not a jukebox, after all), but she did listen intently as always. The story was a version of Strega Nona, and the last line was "and whoever wanted to return home, had to eat his way home" to which Helen shouted "HER!". Because in Helen's world, the gender neutral pronoun is "she" not "he" and she's not afraid to correct people.

That's my gal!

Elaine

And the Results are In! Video Games and Children

I am a Waldorf parent through and through. And part of this means that my children do not watch television. They also do not play video games, rarely listen to recorded music, and in general - live a battery free life. There are a few exceptions.

1. If necessary, I would be willing to let them watch videos on a plane. I know Connor did this once. Typically, if we need to resort to media entertainment, we show them photos that have been stored on the computer or videos of them.

2. When we are not at our house. Both of the kids have seen parts of the Super Bowl while at a friend's house, both saw some of the Olympics on our ski vacation last year, both have seen a very limited amount of kids' TV when they visit Ed's parents and their cousins have it on, and Connor has watched a Thomas movie while getting his hair cut and while getting an MRI for a study he's in at the NIH.

3. I believe that my sister's children introduced them briefly to the Wii bowling game, though I know they didn't play much, and they might not have played at all.

4. Helen was also in a study (sponsored by Georgetown) where she watched about 5 minutes of television, two or three times, which is what I want to write about.

The goal of the study was to see if children could perform a task better if a human showed them how to do it, if a video of an unrecognized character showed them how to do it, or if a recognizable character showed them how to do it. I received the results a couple of weeks ago.

At 18 months, Helen was in the group that had the human show her how to do the task. She aced it. At 21 months, Elmo was her task leader, and to say the least, she did not respond by doing the hoped for task. However, she did perform similarly to kids who were shown a video with the unrecognizable character, and since Helen would not actually recognize Elmo, Helen's results seem to agree with the results of the study in general.

I think the results are pretty fascinating. And I want to put them into context with a recent experience I had viewing a new video game from Sesame Street.

Here is an excerpt of the summary I received from Georgetown.

"As you may know, nearly 80% of toddlers under age 2 view television or video programs, with toddlers exposed to an average of 2 hours of screen time per day." Wow. No, I did not know that. In fact, I'm surprised, given that the rather conservative American Academy of Pediatrics advises against television for the under 2 crowd. But, whatever. It's not as if I haven't disagreed with the AAP before. I guess others do, too.

"We asked whether toddlers could learn conceptual information from a video, and if so, what conditions improved their learning."... "One of our most exciting findings was that 1) toddlers in both the Live and Elmo demonstration groups [performed the activity] better than toddlers who did not see a demonstration, and 2) toddlers who saw a video of Elmo nesting the cups learned a cognitively challenging task from video equally well as a child who saw a live adult [perform the task]." The study notes that this is contrary to what most people believe. It also goes on to note that toddlers in the unfamiliar character demonstration performed worse than both of the other groups (thus excusing Helen's inability - which was actually just unwillingness - to stack the cups in response to the video).

This report landed in my inbox shortly after I'd seen a demonstration of a new Sesame Street video games.

I went to this event out of curiosity, because I really am not exposed to children's programs and honestly had no idea there were video games for kids.

Let me lead by saying I was really impressed with the game developers. They didn't just try and make an adult game with kid characters. Instead, they spent time with a Child Psychologist (educated at Kansas University, no less) and they devoted a lot of thought to children's motor skills. Guess what? Young children move remotes differently than adults! The developers considered whether there should be a multi-player option (there is not) and they created parental controls, to allow the parent and child to work through the game together. They developed the game based on known education principles (scaffolding, reinforcement techniques), and they're clearly focusing on the over 2 crowd, so not in conflict with the AAP recommendation. They're also responding to what I consider to be a very strong vibe in this country to encourage reading and math skills earlier and earlier. And they're doing it on a platform that kids are interested in, because they see it all the time.

Now, if the Georgetown results can be generalized to slightly older children - and I don't think there's a big leap of faith there - then I suspect these new Sesame Street games are going to go a long way in encouraging early letter recognition, simple spelling and math skills. And frankly, if I concede the fact that most kids are exposed anyway, I'm a lot happier about age appropriate exposure than some of the other video game stuff I hear.

Am I disadvantaging my children in some way by not giving them this tool? I doubt it. Time will tell, I suppose.

I realize that my choices are in the minority. If video games are part of your child's world by all means, go grab these games (there's a coupon code in the disclosure at the bottom). But I wholeheartedly would welcome a conversation about what our school systems are trying to accomplish.

I think we owe it to our kids.

Disclosure: I was invited to go the Newseum to have lunch and hear game developers discuss two Sesame Street video games. I was able to test the games, and also saw them demonstrated. I received two passes to return to the Newseum at a later date, an Abby Cadabby mug and video, and a small stuffed Big Bird. I was not required to write about the event. After attending the event, I was given a discount code to share with others. You will receive 10 percent off the purchase of any Sesame Street video game if you use this link, combined with the discount code "MOMMY". Enjoy! I came as a skeptic, but I was impressed. I know that Helen and Connor would get a big kick out these games.

Potomac Crescent Waldorf School Fall Festival

Jessica, at the super-cool blog a Parent in Silver Spring, generously allowed me to write about the Potomac Crescent Waldorf School Fall Festival which will be happening on Saturday from 10 - 2. Hope to see you there!

The festival takes place at the school, which is located at 923 S 23rd Street; Arlington, VA 22202.

Check out the post wherein I discuss not only the Fall Festival, but also Waldorf education.


Elaine

Helen's First Day of School...and My First Call to AA

Yes, in fact, I do have a daughter. And yes, she did finally get to start school. And yes, I fully intended to blog about it. But then, well, life got in the way. Between helping out with the school silent auction, trying to make sense of some numbers at work - that do not make sense!, traveling to Boston to visit two of my elementary school friends, finishing my summer sweater that I started before Connor was born, and making several magic wands with dragons on them for the fall festival, the blog has fallen to the wayside. But that doesn't mean starting school wasn't special.
 

As you might recall, Helen was not nuts about being in the parent-child class. She wanted to be in Connor's class. In fact, our agreement before class started was that she could pretend I wasn't there. I even told the teacher, just in case Helen went through with her plan of ignoring me.

As it turns out, Helen had a delightful first day, and most definitely did claim me as her mom. When we got to class, she was happy to put on an apron, and downright thrilled when she realized that she could pick up a knife and cut the apple slice in front of her into small pieces for the day's snack of apple crisp. Soon enough, she checked off that accomplishment and went to play in the other part of the room.

This is where things went South...for me.

Helen found a little mug in the play area, plopped an apple in it, and happily rushed to my side practically shouting "Look, Mommy! I made you APPLE BEER!". I smiled, told her it was a little early for that, and suggested that it was perhaps apple lemonade, trying to get her mind elsewhere. OK, apple lemonade. That was fine.

No sooner had I sipped my apple lemonade, than Helen returned with an egg cup with an apple in it, proudly proclaiming she had made me some apple wine! Seriously. At this point, I turned to the woman next to me and explained "My husband brews beer. Sometimes my kids are interested in it.". The woman was totally nice. So I invited her to our Oktoberfest party, because that is definitely the best way to convince her we're not a beer and wine guzzling house.

Or not.

Elaine

Correlation vs. Causation

In my line of work, we often talk about correlations and causations. In the social sciences, the latter are almost impossible to prove. And often, people mistake the former for the latter. It's easy to do. A few nights ago, Ed and I were discussing this concept in relationship to Connor and school.

• Connor's school does not teach him how to count. (Though it would in first grade, with a very different approach to traditional education.)
• Connor's school does not teach him how to write. (He would do that in second grade. And then he would be tasked with writing all of his own text books.)
• Connor's school does not teach him how to read. (Also a second grade skill.)

• Connor's school encourages him to play with others outside and inside, in the most beautiful setting imaginable. (Well, except for the playground at Acorn Hill which is absolutely to die for. Seriously. If that school were anywhere close to me, my children would be attending it.)
• Connor's school takes an experiential approach to education, and believes that while Connor is playing with that other child on the playground, they are both learning to negotiate the world. They are both drawn to things that interest them. They are being instilled with the foundation for a lifelong love of learning.
• Connor's school focuses on the whole child - heart, hands, head. No standardized test could possibly capture what he's learning.
• Connor's school has movement classes as part of the curriculum.

The other day, I heard Connor count by 2s beyond 100, and then he counted by 5s and 10s. He has counted by 3s on other occasions. (And yes, I am aware that people with OCD like to count!) If Connor were in a traditional school, I would've done a double take when I heard this and exclaimed about how great that school of his was, teaching him these early math skills. I would've thought his teacher was nothing short of brilliant. I mean, seriously, a few days in Kindergarten and that's what happens! I would've mistakenly attributed correlation to causation.

See, it's an easy mistake.

Elaine

First Day of Kindergarten?

A couple of days ago, Connor could have started Kindergarten in the Arlington County Public School System. He would've walked a few blocks to school, and been among about 80 children who entered the doors for the first time as Kindergarteners, all of whom live in our neighborhood. He would be in one of FIVE kindergarten classes.

I would've taken a photo like so many other parents did, as he set off on his first day of school. I would've cried. He would've been expected to be in class from 8:50 AM to 3:41 PM.

But I'm saving all that for next year.

Instead, Connor goes back to his beloved Waldorf school for his second year of Kindergarten. In Waldorf schools, children attend Kindergarten for (at least) two years, and the big deal there is not entering Kindergarten, but moving onto first grade. That's when you meet your class teacher, who, if all goes well, will be with the class for the next eight years. The main issue we've been dealing with recently with respect to school are all the polite inquiries complete with feigned excitment of "are you getting excited about Kindergarten?". This question always confuses Connor, because he has been in Kindergarten. And he usually tells the curious person so, which confuses the curious person because she swore Connor just announced he had turned five a few weeks ago.

Connor chose his own clothes (as you might be able to tell from the photo I snapped this afternoon - HELLO - did he grow since the end of last year? I think so.). He reported playing with E., watching a puppet show that was the same story as the one we saw together yesterday when the children went to school for an hour, and he reported it was rice day for snack, which is - by far - his favorite snack day. By 7:30 tonight, he was in bed, and ready to fall asleep. School wears him out. I remember this from last year as well.

Connor adores both of his teachers, and has a total of 15 children in his class. They will have a 16th join in November, a boy who attended his school until about Spring break of two years ago. At that point, the class will have 8 boys and 8 girls.

This year might be the best year yet! Am I nervous? A little bit. Not about what he'll be doing this year, but about how his transition next year will go. However, I tend to live in the moment with my kids, so I don't think about it much. It'll likely weigh heavily on me as Summer comes to a close next year.

Tomorrow, Helen begins school. Today, she asked if we could go together, so maybe she won't diss me at the door, as she seemed inclined to do. Whatever happens, I'm already excited about my first finger knitting project! And then we're going to be making knot dolls, a project I have not yet done.

Elaine