NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 20 - Never Be a Volunteer at a Street Show in New Orleans

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview - as it comes up.

This is a piece of advice that I can proudly say I followed this past weekend.

A few years ago, Ed and I went to New Orleans with friends Jim and Kellee. At one point, we were in the French Quarter, in front of the big church there, and a man was preparing to tie himself up. This is an act that needs volunteers - and Kellee and I had drunk enough by this point (noon, maybe?) that we were more than happy to volunteer as assistants. Ed and Jim looked on telling us we were ridiculous and it was a terrible idea. What do they know, right?

Turns out - and I assure you this hurts to admit - Ed and Jim know a lot - at least on this particular issue.

There Kellee and I were, with a certifiably whacky guy telling us to tie the chains TIGHTER. And he was croaking it out, as if he could no longer breathe. Then, he told me where the chain cutters were and admonished me to not use them unless he had been lying there for a substantial amount of time and appeared to not be breathing.

What? My eyes bugged out of my head. No, if you show any signs of death, I'm chopping. We argued a bit, but I wasn't going to spend my night in the pokey over this. Kellee and I wound the dude up in chain after chain, pulled them tight, felt absolutely awful about it, and really, could barely continue. But...we had promised the guy we'd tie him up and we were trying very hard not to disappoint.

Kellee and I had to go and boil ourselves afterwards. But luckily, the man did not die, he escaped, and then we escaped. And for the rest of the trip, Ed and Jim mocked us mercilessly.

Yesterday, Ed and I were in the French Quarter, and I had the opportunity to volunteer to be in another street performer's show. But I resisted. I think Ed was a little surprised, but in the end, it was a good thing. No feeling icky afterwards and no mocking from Ed. I definitely recommend never volunteering at a street show in New Orleans.

Elaine

Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Day 16: Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse
Day 17: Understand the Price of Success
Day 18: Question Everything
Day 19: Drink Great Wine with Old Friends

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 19 - Drink Great Wine with Old Friends

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview - as it comes up.
Total Facebook score. A friend of mine from my college days showed up on Facebook a couple of months ago. Turns out, he's in New Orleans - and I was already planning on heading to New Orleans for work. (Anyone want to guess what I do for a living?) So I asked him if he wanted to get together and yes, he did. So he picked Ed and I up at the hotel room on Saturday night and took us to a fantastic neighborhood restaurant. Clancy's did not disappoint. Nor did the wine. If you're ever in New Orleans, I highly recommend it. Just close your eyes when the bill comes and hand it to your partner!

Elaine

Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Day 16: Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse

Day 17: Understand the Price of Success

Day 18: Question Everything

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 18 - Question Everything

Sending a child to school requires an enormous amount of trust. It also requires a parent to step back and decide how information from home will fit in with information provided by the schools. I adore Connor’s teacher for a million reasons. But, she’s confined to teach in the system she’s in – so let me be clear that the below isn’t a criticism of her, it’s a criticism of the entire education system.

Around Columbus Day, I had a child coming home telling me that Christopher Columbus discovered America. At this point, I have to decide – do I correct the little dude, or do I make his life easy and go along with his excitement?

It will surprise no one who knows me that the next sentence out of my mouth was “Connor – that is impossible. Did Mrs. H. mention that there were already people living here when Christopher Columbus and his wayward ship landed here”. Yes, yes she did. “So you see, it is not possible that Christopher Columbus discovered America.” I realize that I’ve now set in Connor’s mind the notion that his primary out-of-the-home educator is fallible. But I’ve hopefully taught him that you have to take in all the information, and make judgment calls.

My other response to situations such as these is to ask Connor questions. Does the evidence given support the statement he’s making? Or is it possible that something else is at play?

I never know how big of an impression I make until the following happens.

In a book about dinosaurs that Connor has been reading, there’s a passage about a particular dinosaur roaming in packs. We know this, the book portends, because many, many footprints have been found in the same area.

Connor’s response? Maybe that means there were dinosaurs traveling in packs. Maybe it means that one dinosaur just ran around a lot and made lots of lots of tracks on its own. Can I just remind you that Connor is 6? SIX! I used to say that language development was my favorite parenting phase, but I’m going to change that to developing critical thinking skills. This is going to be good.

So…take it from Connor. Question everything.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Day 16: Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse 

Day 17: Understand the Price of Success

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 17 - Understand the Price of Success

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview. I draw the topics from things that come up the day I post, or the day or two before I post.


Before you start anything, I think it's important to understand the price of success.
 
I work in a very male dominated profession. I've been super lucky to have loads of mentors that helped me out along the way. It used to be that I'd meet high ranking women in my profession during bathroom breaks. We were, after all, a small crowd. I still remember when a woman who I admire a lot told me she thought my suit looked fantastic and later this turned into a somewhat productive work relationship.
 
Today, I'm at a conference. I walked into a line in the bathroom. The woman behind me, possibly the most respected woman in the field said "Wow! I guess this is the price of success. Looks good to me!"
 
Elaine
 
Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Day 16: Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 16 - Stop Things from Going from Bad to Worse

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview. I draw the topics from things that come up the day I post, or the day or two before I post.

I have a horrible habit, many, actually. I'm not going tell you what it (they) is (are) because this particular habit that's weighing on me right now embarrasses me terribly. And I can explain this piece of advice without the details. AND, if I gave you the details, someone would just to talk me out of my thinking it's so bad, and that's not what I need right now. What I need to do, is stop the habit. Completely.

Here's the thing, I realized that I do this habit, feel guilty about it, and then do it some more. An analogy would be - and this is not my problem - I ignored the alarm in the morning. And then, rather than getting up when I realized I had ignored the alarm, I rolled back over in bed to sleep some more to comfort myself because I felt bad about ignoring the alarm. And in the end, I felt even worse as I ended up sleeping in even later. Get it? The thing that I hate doing provides me great comfort, so when I feel crappy, I do it. I hate that. I really hate that. I'm trying to stop the habit but I feel helpless because I developed the habit because it makes me feel better.

I've known I've had this problem for a while. And I've tried to kick this habit but it is just very difficult. It has taken a while to figure out how to get rid of it. So here's what I did. Every time I engaged in the behavior, I admonished myself "stop going from bad to worse". And that reminder, which I gave myself often, is helping, though I haven't quite kicked the habit.

I will though. I can tell I'm close.

This applies to lots of things. Stop making things go from bad to worse.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.
Day 15: Loose Lips Sink Ships

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 15 - Loose Lips Sink Ships

This evening, Helen flashed a smile to me at dinner and related the following tale.

Today at snack, I was trying to trick Miss A., so I started coughing so much that she would think I was sick. Then P. started coughing, too, and we were both coughing so, so much that we were definitely tricking Miss A. Then C started coughing too, but not that much. So Miss A. turned our chairs around at the snack table. Then we had to move away from the snack table because P. and I were still coughing so much. Then, we had to go and find our golden manners. Mine were hiding behind the curtain. Then I came back to the snack table but I wasn't coughing anymore.

I never would've known about any of this, except Miss Chattypants can't keep anything to herself. Although by the way she told the story, I'm not even sure it dawned on her that she might be in trouble.

Loose lips sink ships.

Helen has been busy with her make-up kit as well.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm
Day 14: Sometimes, you just have to ask.

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 14 - Sometimes, You Just Have to Ask

The five first grade classes at Connor's school have an inner-grade mail system. On Thursday, Connor received his first piece of mail. I was from P, a girl in his class who seems quite nice.

"Connor i am glad you are in my clos"

This morning, I volunteered in Connor's class. Connor completed the scheduled activity with a few minutes to spare, and so he excitedly ran over to the mailbox to fill his spare time. He grabbed a postcard, looked across the desks to see how to spell P's name, and then wrote on the card:

"P - plees send a note to my" (he meant to write "me" for the last word).

Connor was thrilled to be sending something through the mail system, and definitely a little nervous about it. I thought it could've been a little more meaningful, perhaps telling P. something nice, or asking if she wanted to play with him at recess, or any number of things. But, I guess "sometimes, you just have to ask" for what you want. No need to mince words, I guess.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks
Day 13: Establish a Realistic Rhythm

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 13 - Establish a Realistic Rhythm

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview. I draw the topics from things that come up the day I post, or the day or two before I post.

The best gift my mother ever gave me was showing me how to establish a rhythm in a household. I'm guessing it came so naturally to her, she neither worked at it nor knew she was doing it. Although there were a couple of tasks that slid regularly, almost everything got done every week, or as needed. For example, sheets were changed on Thursday, rooms were cleaned on Friday (or Saturday). Homework was finished before heading outside and bedtime was not to be missed. Laundry seemed to be a near daily task.

It's taken me a long time to get into my own groove. In part, I used to think that waiting until the last minute was efficient! It's when I got my best work done! After all, why bother washing today when you might be able to wait a week and do it then, although it would often mean wearing things I didn't want to wear, things that were slightly off-season, or things that simply weren't appropriate - just because that's what was clean.

I have finally figured out a system that gets everything done - and doesn't rely on the weekends to do it. It may have taken a while, but I finally realized that Ed and I are often gone on the weekends, so counting on that time to do a regular task, rather than an optional task, was a recipe for being behind. By the end of our weekend away, I'd be anxious about what didn't get done, and ultimately didn't enjoy being away as much as I should have enjoyed it.

It's also enabled me to build a great rhythm for Connor and Helen, which I credit for the almost never tantrums in our home, and seems to work in general. There are still a few tasks that need working in, and a few habits to change (though finally, after living out of my parents' home for 20 years, I have turned the corner and now make my bed daily), but mostly, things are getting done. The best reason I can recommend developing a rhythm for daily life is that one need only worry about a few tasks daily, rather than always having a task looming overhead. For example, Wednesday is laundry day in my house, Thursday is folding day. I don't worry about the laundry getting done - no matter how big the pile - any day except Wednesday. It's been really freeing!

And this weekend? It left the freedom to enjoy the heated cabins at Bull Run.

Connor carefully sets out a bunch of nuts to see if squirrels are still running around.

After a two mile hike for Connor and me (and a nap for Helen and Ed), it was time for art. The tortoise actually turned out pretty cool, with some nice layered colorwork on the back of the turtle.

Time to hang with Dad.

Quick! Pose with the cannons!

At first, walking with the Ranger during a tour was very interesting.

Later, it was boring, though it did yield a little time to weave blades of grass. Chip off the old block, that girl is.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.
Day 12: Take Breaks

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 12 - Take Breaks!

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview.

I'm following my advice and camping in the woods tonight. Hope you're enjoying this perfect fall weekend as well.

Elaine

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can
Day 11: Help your neighbor.

NaBloPoMo Advice Column - Day 11 - Help Your Neighbor

I'm writing 30 thoughts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo. In no particular order, I'm giving you my worldview.

It's almost irrestibale not to pass along a piece of advice Connor gave me in the car today "don't join the military". His reasoning was sound, for sure, but since it's Veteran's Day, I'll take inspiration from my children and instead, today's piece of advice is to help your neighbor.

Helen and Connor love to tackle a mulch pile, so our neighbor came over to borrow a wheelbarrow last night, they wanted to know the purpose. And wow were they delighted to wake up this morning to see two piles of mulch still sitting across the street in the driveway.

Immediately after getting home from a playdate at the Botanical Gardens, they went to our shed and retrieved their shovels and wheelbarrows. They trounced across the street and let our neighbor know that they were ready to help. He smiled and told them he could use all they help they were ready to give.

They've been having a ball over there - and I must say, I do think they're more help than hindrance at this point.

Building a worldview:
Day 1: Surround Yourself With Brilliant People (though my friend Susan makes a good point that clever is pretty good, too).
Day 2: Whatever, it works.
Day 3: Surround Yourself With Beauty
Day 4: When You Go Through Something New - Drag Someone With You
Day 5: No sweatpants.
Day 6: Embrace the Crazy
Day 7: Listen to Your Friends or Fight Old Fogey-dom. Get out there. Keep experiencing fun, new things.
Day 8: Don't Let Anyone Sell You Short
Day 9: Take a Lesson From Your Child
Day 10: Consume the best chocolate you can