First Impressions Are So Important

Helen seems to have mastered a very important lesson early in life. First Impressions Matter. It's something that I know well, but don't always follow. Take, for example, the time I went to a wedding of one of Ed's friends. I knew nobody there, except Ed, and he knew lots of people that he hadn't seen in a while. So, I did what seemed like a very logical thing to do at the time. I decided to make best friends with the bartender. While Ed reminisced about anything and everything with his high school friends, I sat and drank. A lot. This was a really bad choice, and I really am sorry, City of Albany. You deserve to be treated better than I treated you that night.

I believe this was the second time I met Ed's parents, and there's a pretty good story to go with the first time I met them as well, but I'm going to save that for another day when I feel like embarrassing myself. Anyway, this first story about impressions has a long way to go. The the next morning, Ed's parents, Ed, and I were heading to New York City to see a show on Broadway and Ed's mom had this great idea that we would all drive down together and then Ed's parents would take the train back to Upstate New York while Ed and I headed back to Arlington. It really was a good idea, except I was suffering A LOT from the previous night. I was in bad enough shape, in fact, that I didn't even offer either of Ed's parents a front seat of my car, and Ed absolutely had to drive it. When Ed's mom got in, I remember her commenting that the back seats were comfortable, and I had two thoughts. #1. There is no possible way I'm going to make it through this car ride and #2 there is nothing comfortable about the backseat of a Ford Escort. Clearly, Ed's mom is either the nicest or most unaware person in the world. Let's go with nicest.

As Ed was driving down the highway, it was all I could do to barely keep up polite conversation. At one point, I turned to Ed and asked him how far until the next rest stop and his answer was not very promising for me. So I directed him to pull the car over. Now. And let's just say, it was not a minute too soon and as many white lies as Ed has told in his life, I cannot believe he couldn't come up with one for this very situation like "ELAINE GETS CARSICK EASILY". Instead, as his parents sat in the backseat probably completely horrified at the road side spectacle that their son was dating, he turned around and said "someone had a little too much to drink last night". I'm sure they were impressed.

After that, I felt much better. For the life of me, I do not know why Ed's parents didn't call him up after the trip was over and tell him to leave. Fast. And hey, maybe they did. He doesn't always listen so well.

Helen, on the other hand, has a different way of approaching first impressions. In her parent-child class, she spent the first couple of weeks being the victim. Whenever anyone would even look at something she was playing with, she'd loudly announce that she was playing with that and then spend several minutes telling anyone and everyone that "G was mean, he took my toy" or "V was mean, she took my toy". All the while, she was just building up a reputation. And, in classic girl fashion, each week at the start of class she would announce her grievances from the previous week. Because, you know, why let something go? Ever? (And if you happen to be a parent of only boys, say thank-you right now.)

This past Friday, after a half a year of parent-child class, she seems to completely have the benefit of the doubt. Whenever there's a bit of a tangle over a toy (which is inevitable in a room of 2 and 3 year olds), Helen loudly lays claim to the toy and the other parents and teachers can't move fast enough to find another toy to give to the other child and give Helen the toy in question.

As someone who knows Helen and her cries pretty well, I'm thinking that sometimes she's faking, and she has been the one who has just swiped a toy. But no matter. First impressions matter. And Helen always gets what she wants.

And even though my first impression (or second impression) wasn't so good in regards to Ed's family, I guess I got what I wanted, too. But I really do recommend Helen's strategy of making a good first impression. It makes everything easier. I'm totally impressed that she has figured this out already. (Although I thank my in-laws for not judging a book by its cover and not holding this incident against me forever. I hope to have their grace when Connor or Helen bring home someone just like me, and recognize it was a series of terrible events, not the norm.)

Elaine