Last night, my little man went to bed at 7:40 (he was exhausted after having not napped very well or slept very well the previous two days). At 8:10, he woke up, but before Ed went into his room to tell him it was night time and he needed to sleep, Connor miraculously went back to sleep (about 10 minutes later). And then he stirred and cried a bit in another half hour, but after about 5 minutes, he was asleep. Then, while we heard him stir a bit and reposition himself, he slept until 11:00 - at which time he was ready to be fed. Connor has been fed every day of his life at 11:00, so he'll probably want this for a while - and frankly it's excellent timing for us because that's when Ed and I normally go to bed.
I hunkered downstairs for a night of sleep, emotionally drained from this whole drama, while Ed went to the room by Connor's for the night so that he could work him through the night wakings. And...at 2:00, when it's usually a really ugly put back to sleep, Connor woke up. But, within 5 minutes, my little man was sleeping again - and we didn't hear from him again until his little snort came over the monitor at about 6:20. I showered, prepared for work, and then went to greet him at 7:00 AM.
Many thanks to Pampers for being able to hold a full night's worth of deposits. Many thanks to my co-worker who talked me through her drama with her own child, many thanks to my friend Lisa who correctly explained that I should prepare for the 3 worst nights of my life. But most of all, many thanks to my parents who consoled me over the phone when I was ready to give up on this whole thing.
I learned a few things from this. First of all, Dr. Sears is wrong, wrong, wrong when he says letting your child cry can desensitize you. I am still ever so sensitive to Connor's every sound. I have knots in my stomach thinking about him waking up and crying. I literally don't think I could have taken another night - and I'm very thankful that Ed was up to the task. Second, Connor is a champ (OK - I knew this already, but it was really reinforced). Throughout it all, he was always joyful during the day and a very pleasant baby to be around. He needed to learn how to put himself to sleep for the good of everyone - and now that he has done it for one evening, hopefully he's got it down. If not, hopefully it'll be locked up in the next couple of days. Now he can concentrate on perfecting his balance as he sits (here's a hint: steady that big head, boy!) and rolling over - much more fun but possibly equally challenging tasks. And finally, tears from a child who is over 30 years old are as troubling to a mama as tears from a baby who is less than a year - at least they are with my parents who offered to fly out here and help me through this.
So, hats off to Connor. I promise no car rides for a few days and as much outside time as possible since these seem to be your preferences. And, you'll get the money we were going to pay a sleep trainer in your college account, as promised. You earned it.
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