Save time for fun...end of year soccer

Playing soccer is hard work - and the practices can be pretty hard as well. The field size increases each year, so the children playing need to be able to run farther, faster, and generally have more endurance.

Connor has been gifted with some wonderful soccer coaches - who have figured out how to work the boys hard, but also how to have fun. Yesterday, the boys capped off the season by settling a bet with their head coach.

Connor's team played one game on our "home turf" (the elementary school most of the boys on the team attend and where they practice). The head coach told them that if they won the game, they could dump Gatorade on him at a future game or practice. We've had some very cold and windy games and practices since then, but the coach wanted to honor the bet. So yesterday, during the time slot that would've been practice had there been another game and some daylight, the coach told the boys to meet at the school.

He provided a bunch of stadium cups, a huge cooler of water, and stepped in front of the firing squad.

The guy wins best natured coach in the universe for this, and for everything else he does throughout the season. It's a special gift to be able to motivate kids and still have them adore you.

Thanks, coach!

Elaine

Reports from the Lunchroom / The Sharing Table

Connor is not a fan of food. He does not seek it out and he rarely tries new things unless told to do so. Helen, on the other hand, is more adventurous with food. As a result, I'm learning a lot about how the lunchroom at the elementary school operates.

1. The Sharing Table - according to Helen, there is a table in the lunchroom called "the sharing table". The table is near the trash bins, and the idea is that you may leave behind any whole fruit or packaged item that you have not started to consume. At first, Helen told me, she thought the sharing table was just for "all those kids in wheelchairs who come into the cafeteria who always forget their lunch money". Until one magical day, a friend of hers who was at the school in Kindergarten told her that anyone may take anything off the table. KA-CHING! This sent Helen into a bit of a frenzy, collecting items that looked particularly appealing. But, the catch is, you have to peer at the table from your seat - because "the mean lunch ladies do not like it when you leave your assigned table" - and then make a dash for whatever food item you want. Helen almost always brings her own lunch, so she's not actually a contributor to the sharing table - she's just a taker.

Connor's comment when asked about the sharing table: "I guess there's one. I never look at it.".

2. Try New Foods - a few parents run a campaign to "Be Your Body's Best Friend". The campaign centers around improving nutrition; teaching children they need a lot of sleep, few sugar drinks, and limited screen time; and improving exercise habits by encouraging children to walk to school on certain days and run a 1-mile or 5K run at the end of the school year.

One component of the nutrition piece is to encourage children to try new foods. Moms show up in the cafeteria regularly with post of soup, vegetables, and other nutritious offerings and the children my have a sample. They also bring recipes in case the children want to know how to make the food at home. The number of times Connor has approached the new foods table is probably one - enough to learn it was an activity he didn't care for. Helen? She's crushing at the new foods table and even won a pencil last week - which she loved - for knowing some facts being focused on in the campaign.

These moms, by the way, are saints - and the person heading it up graduated from culinary school, which I think is amazingly cool.

3. If you bring your lunch and your friend buys her lunch, you can try and spread out a lot when you get to your seat so that your friend may squeeze in when s/he acquires lunch. Tried and tested by years of students, including both Connor and Helen.

Helen and I used to visit Connor for lunch one or two times a year. With two children, my visit to the cafeteria will be a lot longer, which might do me in.

Elaine

Oktoberfest

I've lost track of how many years we've hosted an Oktoberfest party. There was one year that got skipped due to Connor's terrible sleep habits, and one year that probably should've been skipped because I was so close to going into labor with Helen.

The party consists of three basic elements on our part.

• A moonbounce to entertain many children at once - this year's version was particularly ridiculous, because Ed thought we needed to get something better than the typical bouncer with slide. It worked out really well because the company we rented it from left it in our yard for a few extra days, which allowed the neighborhood kids to have several turns at bouncing.

• Bratwursts (veggie and meat), along with a few other German sides. No photos of these.

• And Ed's homebrew. This year might've had more variety than any other year.

Add friends and the most amazing weather possible, and we have Oktoberfest!

Elaine

Photobook coming...

Tonight I spent the past 3 hours editing a photobook of our family trip to London and Paris a year and a half ago. Per usual, I bought a discount code to use on a photobook months ago - knowing I had PLENTY of time to use it. And also, per usual, I am completing the book just three days before the discount code expires, and I will be crossing my fingers that Ed will find the time to edit the book to get rid of the most egregious errors.

The best part of doing this was looking at a scrapbook that we wrote in during the trip. At one point, Helen commented that children in London do not hold hands - they wear leashes!

I love that kid's observations!

Elaine

Go Big AND Go Home - Connor Pops a 105!

Our house has been super lucky when it comes to illness these last several years. I don't think either child had a sick visit to the pediatrician last year, and it might've been for the past two or three years. Connor had the year where he broke himself regularly, but sickness doesn't seem  to come to us - and when it does, it's more of a one-day, under-the-weather thing with not much of a fever or other symptoms.

Which is why it was a bit surprising when Connor woke up a little under the weather on Tuesday. By the time I met him for an after-school activity he's starting, he looked awful. We left about five minutes after I got there, and when I got home, I decided to check his temperature with my new, fancy thermometer that I received from Braun last week. It's the Braun NTF3000 No Touch plus Forehead Thermometer.

105.

That's good enough to score a red light in the thermometer's indicator, and good enough for me to leave a panicked missive for the pediatrician on the answering machine (though I wasn't quite sure if I should leave it on the emergency answering machine or the non-emergency answering machine).

The nurse called back pretty quickly and advised a lukewarm bath to go along with the Tylenol I'd already given Connor - and told me to get the fever down as fast as possible, and that I should come in at 6:30 to be seen by the nurse practitioner. She also mentioned that the nurse does not need to see the fever in order to believe Connor had it, which echoed advice my brother-in-law has given me. He's an ER doc and regularly, parents come in with children with super high fevers, and the parents have given their kids no meds because they want the doctor to see the fever. Not good.

The fever responded pretty instantly and we ended up not going to see the nurse practitioner until the following day when Connor just could not keep his temp below 103 (which is still good enough for the red light indicator on my fancy thermometer).

Eventually, the fever made its way down to a yellow light, where it settled for about 24 hours and then finally, on Halloween, Connor was back in business. Even Helen chirped a little "woohoo" when she saw the thermometer measure "green".

I'm not required to write about the thermometer, but it is pretty awesome. I can take Connor's temperature without touching him, and I can turn the sounds off so there is almost no chance I will wake him when I take his temperature before I go to bed at night or in the middle of the night. It measured within 0.2 degrees of what the doctor's office ear thermometer measured when we went in to see the nurse practitioner.

I tried to convince Connor that the thermometer was a high-tech brain sucking machine, but he was unconvinced. I guess even though he was hot, he hadn't quite reached delirium.

Elaine

NaBloPoMo Take 8! Kicking it in gear once more: From the Backpacks

In 2007, another woman in my mom's group issued a challenge to herself, myself, and our friend Vickie to try and join National Blog Posting Month. I'm pretty sure I've participated in the challenge to post something every day for a month every year since then - although I know I missed several days the year we spent Thanksgiving in Puerto Rico. I still look back fondly on that trip. I hope we repeat it someday - and maybe this time I can convince my sister and her crew to join us.

I received an email a few minutes ago from another friend in the group, reminding several bloggers in the group who have since taken on the challenge that indeed, November is upon us.

And so it is that I dive off into once-a-day posting for the month, or however long I can sustain it. This year's special feature will be a once-a-week "from the backbacks" edition, which will highlight something Connor or Helen brought home from school in their "Friday Folders". This week, I have two gems.

The first, from Connor. He is not my confidence filled kid, so when he does something to boast about himself, it always makes me smile.

On the back of a brochure trying to explain what a group of science tools is, he had written the following:

"For more info go to www.ConnorIsAwesome.com

Helen's teacher has been trying to convince her that she's a reader. It's tough, because my normally very optimistic daughter is sensitive to the fact that she has befriended the most advanced reader in the class. A. has her own word study group and Helen definitely feels a little inferior. However, Helen has made huge strides in reading, and can absolutely figure out simple texts. Here is the artwork that came home in her backpack. I love the exaggerated frown in the top panel and the joy in the bottom panel.

Elaine

Epic School Photos

School photos are always terrible. I purchase them each year out of some strange sense of obligation, and then when they arrive at my house, I hope they'll at least become points of family humor in the future.

On school picture day, Helen asked me if she could wear her wings. I was the pick-up parent that day, not the drop-off parent, so I told her she should ask Ed. I didn't want to break her heart and tell her no, because she had clearly carefully thought about her outfit, but I also wasn't sure wearing wings to school was kosher.

About five minutes after I arrived at my office, I received a phone call from home. It was Helen. She queried me once more about the wings. I asked her what Ed had said and she told me he had said to call me. Well...OK then.

In my moment of indecision, I decided to punt to the teacher. "Helen, if the wings are important to you, you can wear them - unless Mrs. H. tells you they're not allowed." And with that, she packed them in her backpack and headed off to school.

When it came time for photos, she ducked out of line, grabbed the wings from her locker, put them on, and hopped back in line.

Her teacher was surprised, but decided that it was a pretty impressive feat for Helen to remember them at the right time, so she gave them a pass. (When I told her we had punted to her, she laughed and thanked me. No way was Mrs. H. going to play the role of heartbreaker, which I guess I knew deep down.)

Helen got home that day and told me "everyone was giggling at my wings - even the older children!" She was so proud of her clothing choice.

The photos came home. And they are full of awesome. Definitely the best school photos that have ever graced our door. Even Connor's photo was good! I'm almost sad I didn't order more of them!

Elaine

Opposites

Parenting Helen and Connor can be a study in contrasts. Where one sees opportunity, the other finds obstacles. One skips, the other walks with a steady pace. One smiles when she sees anyone, one hopes he can remain in the background.


And so it was no surprise to me when Helen came home with her first spelling test two weeks ago. Teaching Helen to spell is like teaching a dolphin to walk. She is trying to figure out a system, but then all these words come at her that break the rules! So then even the words that follow a system baffle her, because she's expecting them to have a trick. While Connor can memorize pretty much anything, Helen memorizes things with meaning. Ask her to retell a story, and she can do so brilliantly. Ask her to spell "saw", after spelling it several times, and she will look at you with a blank stare, try and sound it out, and tentatively say "S-O-W?". Spelling a word once correctly is no guarantee that it has been learned.


The first spelling test had 8 words on it. Helen gleefully showed me her paper and proclaimed "I got TWO RIGHT!". And she was super proud, and I, of course, told her to "rock on, sister", because I don't worry about this stuff. Ed laughed and said "she is your child", because we both know Connor, who shares more of Ed's demeanor, would have come home and said "ugh, I got six wrong".


Neither Ed nor I can recall Connor taking spelling tests this early in school. We're wondering if they're new since he was in first grade, or if his teacher (who is the same as Helen's) just exempted him until he knew how to read, sensing that they would be a terrible thing for Connor.


Elaine

World Series Bound

It was a tense few days while the Royals made short work of the Orioles. Connor was visibly upset the first day, less so the second, and by the morning of the fourth game, he just asked if I could please root for the Orioles on the hopes that the Orioles would make it back to Camden and we could go to another play-off game together. I thought that was pretty sweet of him. I really did just want the Royals to sweep and move on. I kept my cheering to a near nonexistent level and agreed with Connor that indeed, another post-season game would be fun to go to together.

During game 1, Connor wore the lucky shirt, because he wanted to be a sport. Until the Royals started winning.

Then Connor took off the shirt, cheered every time the Royals got out, and threatened to throw the shirt away. Not good. Not good.

Game 2, he wore his Orioles jersey (as he should) and were officially a house divided. I tried to squeeze into the lucky shirt to keep the charm going. Breathing was not easy.

The shirt was not working so well, so I decided it needed to be worn by someone who was reasonably close to fitting in it. Thankfully, Helen took on the task.

The Royals are now headed to their first series since 1985. Cross your fingers that the luck doesn't run out, the baserunners from KC are able to move swiftly, and the outfield continues to make amazing plays!

Most importantly, Connor has agreed to wear the lucky shirt for the Series! We will be a house united again!

Elaine

Being Seen

Last year, the gifted resource teacher at Connor's school asked me how things were going. I told her what I thought - without sparing her many gory details. She wrote back "thanks for the honesty". I'm sure she was more than a little surprised, but I have to hand it to her, she did try and change things. I wrote in that letter, among other things, that I got the feeling my child was sitting in class reading all day, being ignored by his teachers, because he was being quiet and not interfering.

At some point, third grade just crushed my soul, and I got to the point where my attitude was more "just get out alive" than "make something good out of this". Even after discussing the year with Ed and other friends, I still can't quite put my finger on the cause of the terrible year. Maybe it's as simple as the huge test load crushing all inspiration in the room (which has been changed for all subsequent classes); maybe it's an attitude that resources should be spent on the students with the greatest academic needs (a fair point, but doesn't help my kid); maybe it's even worse that the teacher's just didn't care (I have a hard time believing this one, but since I've never come up with an answer that I find satisfactory, this one stays on the table).

This is a conversation I had with Connor's math teacher last year:

Me: The homework being sent home with Connor is too easy. It's not a good use of his time.
Teacher: I agree. The homework doesn't challenge him at all. It's too easy for him.
Me: Then can he just skip it?
Teacher: Everyone does homework.

Me: Blank stare. Thinking - Where do we go from here? This conversation occurred about 3 weeks into the school year.

This was a great foreshadowing of what the whole year would be like. I met with the teacher several times, I tried to offer suggestions:

Me: Maybe the spelling words, which are very simple and do not serve much purpose for Connor, could be made more difficult - so they could serve to enhance his vocabulary, since spelling isn't really a problem for him.
Teacher: That's not the point of the weekly spelling words. The point is to recognize patterns.
Me: And that's the only point?
Teacher: Yes.

Teacher: It's difficult to know what Connor is thinking, because he mostly just sits and reads.
Me: Why don't you require him to fill out a reading summary for each book he reads? That way, you can at least assess what he's getting out of the book. And he can have practice writing, which he needs more practice doing than reading.
Teacher: I hate to do anything to discourage reading.
Me: He read three novels in class last week - a little discouragement is not going to hurt him.
Teacher: OK - that's a good suggestion - I'll have him fill out summaries.

That lasted for about two weeks.  And only because I told Connor to do them. His teacher just wasn't going to take it upon herself to inspire him. Now, to be clear, Connor enjoyed reading all those books last year, and he enjoyed hanging out with his friends, but school was a long, cold march many days.

This year, when I went for the first conference, I almost cried tears of joy. The teacher quickly blew through the academic check list - and then she showed me his self assessment. How does Connor say he feels about school? He is bored. She told me she was going to change that. I believe her. She told me her plans, and she asked if that seemed like something that would likely interest Connor. The math teacher, who changed up Connor's homework by week three, wanted to confirm the level of work, and noted that she thought it was still too easy but wanted to confirm with me before she stepped it up another level (she was correct).

And then the homeroom teacher brought up two issues - and as she described Connor, it became clear that in the six weeks since school has started, the four teachers who are responsible for his education this year know more about him than last year's teachers admitted to after the entire year.  Neither of the things the teacher brought up make Connor a difficult student for the teachers involved. In other words, there is no reason these issues need to be addressed from their standpoint, I suspect, except to help Connor. I know how much an inspiring teacher can matter, and I walked out of that conference feeling like I had added six bench players to my parenting team - the four teachers and the two specialists that will be called in to observe Connor, and determine if anything needs to be done to assist him.

At the end of the conference, I couldn't help but think what a wonderful place Connor was in this year. I have no doubt that this is going to be an amazing year for him. And after last year, I think we both need it.

Elaine