tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72417739040407902032024-03-12T21:43:26.692-04:00Connor and Helen Grow UpElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.comBlogger1584125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-52200220805732076672022-11-17T10:25:00.003-05:002022-11-26T17:35:16.760-05:00Leaving Home<p>My parents still inhabit the place that, when pressed, I still call home. I haven't lived there as a permanent resident for almost three decades. The walls to my former room are still painted a very faint shade of lilac and the desk is still the one I stuffed my belongings in on Friday afternoons when I was supposed to clean up before I went out on any weekend adventures. If a tragedy happened I could hop on a plane and be there within the day, sleeping in the same bed where I have dreamed a thousand dreams.</p><p>As I contemplate my own child's upcoming moving day - to where, we have no idea, I know it'll be the start of saying good-bye to the place my children have called home. The house is too big, totally impractical for the life I'm planning after both children take off. When we bought the house, it provided a clever way to amortize some of our child care costs as we used one of the extra bedrooms to provide shelter for a series of au pairs. </p><p>That big house was a gift during the pandemic. It provided space to set up our shared school/office separate from sleeping spaces, gave Ed a place to take his unending phone calls on another floor (yes, his voice still rings in my head from those first few pandemic days when I wondered if his job ever allowed him to just sit quietly). But once both children are gone, I'm not sure I'll ever even walk up the steps to the second floor. (Those steps, by the way, were a gift to my children because my entire childhood I dreamed of having a room like my friend Lisa's. It was on the second floor of her home and her parents rarely checked in. She didn't have to find places to shove her stuff weekly.)</p><p>But soon it will be a burden. </p><p>So we plan to move to a little place on the Wharf and believe me when I say, I at least am holding onto the idea of having three bedrooms (providing a bed for Connor and Helen to come to, even if it's not their home) and I'm frankly not sure Ed is that concerned. If this plan comes to fruition, we will never have a basement full of dogs and babies and teens and parents and grandparents. But we will, hopefully, have a perfectly manageable life that allows for easy travel. And one that never asks me to pull a weed when I'd rather knit or sort photos or read a book. </p><p>It is clear, even in these relatively early stages of college applications, that the 18 years that have seemed like a lifetime at some moments, could never be enough.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-47294620881588653372021-03-19T14:50:00.000-04:002021-03-19T14:50:01.484-04:00One year...<p>We have crossed the one year mark when the coronavirus shut down my piece of the world. Last week, Connor returned to in-person school for two days a week and Helen returned yesterday for two days each week. And here's where life is funny. Connor and Helen have different last names. One has a name from the front half of the alphabet and one has a name from the back half of the alphabet. Guess how days of in-person school are decided? Yes. By last name.</p><p>But...but...you say, surely there are many families like yours (well, where there are children in families with different last names, not necessarily where two children share two married parents and have different last names) doesn't the school district think of this? Yes, they do. But Connor and Helen are also in two different school districts. And I didn't want to ask any questions or make any demands because I am walking on egg shells at the notion that they are back in a school building, so rather than send a query to see if their days could be aligned, I just accept that they attend school on different days.</p><p>At the start of the pandemic, I was fielding calls from several reporters about one set of issues I work on and I am in the midst of fielding calls on another set of issues - and twice now, a reporter has said "you must be so glad your children are back in school" and then I tell them the details and as I explain it, they laugh and we all agree - so 2020-2021. Of course I have a problem that is entirely of my own making and related to me stubbornly not wanting my children to both have their dad's last name. Life comes at you, friends, in ways you can never anticipate.</p><p>So...what is it like? Well, truthfully, I look at Helen's desk and more often than not, even on her at-home days, she has abandoned our shared workspace. She notionally comes in, but then she claims to have lots of group work and while I'm not quite sure it's true, I figure we're almost at the end of this nightmare and maybe what she needs now is to have a few wins, and maybe being in her room a little more than I like is that win. Also, I've been trying to take her on walks and to get treats and such more often lately so I'm doing more checking in at other times. Please don't let this backfire.</p><p>Connor is a machine. He knows himself and he sits across the room from me for most classes, gleefully telling me how he just crushed some concept that I, more often than not, do not fully understand. But I am good at asking questions and I am interested in what he's doing - because it clearly interests him, so he gets the satisfaction of explaining and I enjoy hearing how he sees different assignments.</p><p>The dog was a bit confused by Connor's absence the first couple of days, but she's settled in a bit. But when he comes home from school, she jumps up on him and it is really the best thing in life. She misses Helen as well, but as Helen says, even though she loves Trixie, Trixie barely tolerates her. That's an exaggeration, but Trixie most definitely loves Connor the most. </p><p>Ed thinks his office will finally reopen in October. I'm guessing he'll be back before then. He's gotten dose one of the vaccine with dose two coming up next week. I have no clue when my office will reopen, but I suspect it'll be around the same time.</p><p>After canceling our trip to Vietnam this year, I decided to plan a trip that felt more like a slam dunk in the times of COVID. We are traveling to a couple of National Parks and then we will raft down part of the Grand Canyon. After that, my parents are driving out to meet us and we'll hang out at a final resort before heading back home. I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much, in case things go sideways, but planning the trip has been a huge boost for everyone in my house. Turns out, living mostly boxed in for a year is hard. I don't recommend.</p><p>Elaine</p>Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-3740973383734429102020-10-15T14:54:00.000-04:002020-10-15T14:54:12.158-04:00Whoa! Where Have I Been?<p>My house.</p><p>I've been in my house. We are now in month seven of working and schooling from home. Crazy, right? I almost don't believe it. And unfortunately, we are nowhere close to opening our schools for my children. Maybe we'll get some other folks back in the building, but I'm skeptical of even that.</p><p>In any case, my mom reminded me today - when I sent a fairly crass text - that I should update this space.</p><p>I spent the last week of summer alone in the house while Ed took the children to Chincoteague. I joined them for the long weekend, along with a few other friends. During that week, it hit me - in order to avoid having teens in their bedrooms all day long unsupervised, we needed a joint space. And for a variety of reasons, I really do not think teens should be hanging out in their rooms alone all day.</p><p>I cleaned out the craft room - which was not an insignificant task, purchased new desk chairs, adjusted the desks that had been purchased so many years ago and quickly had become cluttered piles of child junk to the proper heights, moved a desk in for me - and voila! The TJ-HB-UI satellite office space was born.</p><p>Ed goes upstairs to his safe room, closes the door, and basically goes about his business. I sit with Connor and Helen all day long as they work, though they leave for band, orchestra, home room, and group talking time. I leave for conference calls that I need to speak a lot on. For the most part, it works. Helen commented that it wasn't as lonely as being in her room - and Connor has been crushing school. I'll take it.</p><p>Today, I got a note that made my heart sing. Last March, school abruptly ended for Helen. No new content was to be delivered, and then the school system announced everyone in pre-Algebra in 6th grade would just take pre-Algebra in 7th grade. No, no they will not, was my basic thought. So...a few clarifying emails later, the math department said everyone would start in pre-Algebra but that they would test the students at the end of September and see if they should be moved to Algebra.</p><p>Test results came back today and Helen is moving into Algebra. Her first love is not math, but everything else in middle school is so easy for her, that I think it's good for her to have at least a small challenge. She was so proud, as was I. </p><p>We have almost finished week 7 of school at home and everyone is still looking forward to heading back whenever it's deemed safe enough to do so.</p><p>Elaine</p>Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-43755545633479058512020-06-09T10:13:00.002-04:002020-06-09T10:13:35.412-04:00VietnamMy family was supposed to head to Vietnam in a couple of weeks. School would end, the kids would head to my parents' home for a week, and then off we'd go. We were going to stop in Cambodia and then meet up with friends living in Vietnam. It was perfect timing because they have just finished their first year and will be leaving after three years. This summer was the sweet spot of our friends having lots of good recommendations of things to do, some new stuff they still wanted to do, but we wouldn't be visiting them as they were trying to prepare for another move.<br />
<br />
I cannot even express how bitter I am that there is NO community spread in Vietnam while m y own country is a mess. Vietnam had a serious lockdown toward the end of January, performed aggressive contact tracing, and essentially eliminated the virus. They share a border with China where the virus started - yet they are no longer in a mess!<br />
<br />
But we can't visit because there's no good way to know we won't become superspreaders. I get why travel is restsircted, and it's the right move, but I am so upset that my own government failed at containment so badly.<br />
<br />
There is something really special about seeing places through new eyes, and this was a trip that was full of things that no one in my family has ever seen. We would all be experiencing Asia for the first time. I think it would've been like Hawaii was last summer - except multiplied because it would be so different from anything we've experienced.<br />
<br />
As of now, our flights to Cambodia - which were funded with frequent flier miles - have all been canceled and the miles redeposited. The flight from Vietnam to Hong Kong has been outright canceled and the flights beyond that have been moved around so much as to be nearly unrecognizable to what we booked. There is a two week quarantine in place so there is no way we will be taking this trip. But at this point, rather than refunding my money, the airline is offering travel vouchers. Thankfully, it's Air Canada and I believe it's treated like a government airline so the government will at least keep it flying. But I really do not need $4,000 worth of vouchers to maybe use in the future. Good news - they never expire! Bad news - I don't live in Canada (and I mean that in more ways than one).<br />
<br />
The days bring waves of disappointment and we are trying our best to move forward. We've booked a house in Maine for a week at the end of July and I am really looking forward to the kayaking (we're staying right on a lake), the hiking, and whatever else is open to us. In a couple of weeks, we're heading to some tiny houses with other friends staying nearby.<br />
<br />
It's all so overwhelming, but I do know I'm incredibly lucky to be cooped up with people I love.<br />
<br />
Elaine<br />
<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-90834020706358211542020-06-06T22:37:00.000-04:002020-06-06T22:37:05.210-04:00The Day the Plates Stopped SpinningI feel like I've been rolling with the punches of this virus. Work not safe - pack up and head home. School for one closed - welcome to my dining room office. School for the second closed - no problem, I'll just take some time in the middle of each day and try to make sure you're OK. At first, Ed would eat breakfast and lunch with the kids, and I would try and be available more throughout the day if anyone needed anything.<br />
<br />
Those first couple of weeks, we were all in limbo. Nobody knew how long the stay home order would last. And really? Really were our schools going to be closed for the rest of the year? It was almost unfathomable, so I just let myself believe that things would somehow get under control and we'd reopen.<br />
<br />
But, staring at the last week of school in front of me, it's obvious that was misplaced hope.<br />
<br />
Connor burned through an entire course learning material in the hopes of getting placed in a higher level course next fall. I was so relieved. He was busy, he seemed relatively happy, and he was progressing amidst all the chaos.<br />
<br />
But then all those plates that I was barely managing, just started to wobble.<br />
<br />
Everything at work takes longer than it should. Everyone needs something urgent so my brain is switching gears constantly. And I'm still trying to make this not totally stink for the kids. Milkshakes one day - a friend over for frappuccino another day. I was desperate for an activity so even signed them up for an online debate tournament - which Connor commented passed the time and he seemed to be enjoying. Helen was less into it, but she and Connor would strategize a bit together so it at least provided something to talk about.<br />
<br />
Diligently, I would ask each child about each class. And they would report things were fine, assignments were being turned in, nothing to worry about.<br />
<br />
So, as I felt like so many other plates I was trying to keep spinning were crashing to the floor - at least this one thing was OK. Not what anyone wanted, but OK.<br />
<br />
Only it wasn't. And today that became perfectly obvious as I looked in ParentVue and noticed that one of my children hadn't completed a single assignment in a class. Instead, the child had "attended" each class, by which I mean, the child signed into the online classroom, turned the camera off, and promptly played phone games or perused random news. You see, I knew it was totally a mistake to let the child have a private bedroom setup for work, but I let it happen. And now I'm just kicking myself because it facilitated this mess.<br />
<br />
When all this was discovered, amidst a different school crisis that had the child sobbing which I was trying to figure out how to solve, I just totally lost it. I actually went into my bedroom and screamed an obscenity so loud it woke a sleeping child on the floor above. <br />
<br />
Ed came home from his run, I briefed him on why I was so furious and disappointed. He yelled, we talked about how the ship could be righted. We informed the child that summer would involve making up these assignments, trying to stress that the learning still needs to happen and that it would've been better just to do as was expected the first time.<br />
<br />
I'm totally crushed that even this last plate has come crashing to the ground. There is no relief in sight. There are too many stessful things. Every day we miss something else that someone in the house was looking forward to. And there's just no way out.<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-14424731795310259522020-06-01T17:30:00.005-04:002020-06-03T10:09:45.735-04:00George FloydDid anyone sleep last night? Not sure. I didn't. I went to sleep with images of my beloved DC burning and kept thinking about how we've had so many years to end racism in this country - and we don't. We just keep trucking along and acting as if it will heal itself.<br />
<br />
We don't consume a lot of news in our home via radio or TV, particularly when Helen and Connor are awake. But they have phones and computers and friends. Still, it took me a little off guard when I mentioned something to Ed and as I reached for the name, Helen filled in "Floyd". Although I knew Connor was an avid consumer of news, I didn't realize Helen was as well.<br />
<br />
The juxtaposition of the two of them sleeping in the backyard last night with the dog where it's pretty quiet and safe with DC being torn apart a few miles away was unsettling. And while I do seek to make my children feel safe, particularly in this time when there is not enough known about coronavirus / COVID-19, maybe they feel a little too comfortable?<br />
<br />
<div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I WOULD SWING</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
by Kelly Corrigan</div>
</div>
<div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
If you took my husband away from me</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Just because, say, he had blue eyes</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Or a hairline you found objectionable</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Or maybe because you didn’t like the cyst </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
that waxes and wanes </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
On his back</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would not make a poster</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Or write an op ed</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would buy a sledge hammer</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would swing it into plate glass</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Until I could make you feel</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
As endangered and disposable</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
As I felt.</div>
</div>
<div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would need you,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
As all people do, </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
To feel how I felt.</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would need to see you sit up,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Pull yourself out of a dream</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Into a worse reality,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Saying </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Will my neck be broken next?</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Will my true love be made still</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Under the knee </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Of a righteous man</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Who has all the rights I don’t</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
And knows it?</div>
</div>
<div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
If you screamed into your iPhone</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
That my husband and his heritage </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
As a European-American</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
was assaulting you</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
By suggesting your dog</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Needed a leash in the park</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
That was all of ours</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would not be polite in my response</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I would not find a lawyer</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
And wait patiently for an “authority”</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
To maybe side with me.</div>
</div>
<div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Physical madness, if you ask me,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Is the most natural and understandable reaction.</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Unproductive, sure.</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Counter productive, yes of course,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
But natural and understandable.</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
I know this in my body and your body knows it too.</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Put your blue eyed husband </div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
Under the knee of a public “servant”</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
for nine minutes</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
and when his heart stops forever</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
you tell me if you reach for a magic marker,</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
your laptop</div>
<div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">
or a sledge hammer</div>
</div>
Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-41704881412070883972020-05-19T09:51:00.004-04:002020-06-03T10:12:22.103-04:00The Great Virtual Race Across TennesseeI'm a lover of small subcultures. And while there are many runners, I read that about 0.5 percent of the population will complete a marathon. That's a relatively small group, but among runners, the really small groups are ultrarunners (typically defined as running a 50K or more), ultrarunners who run 100 milers (I know ONE person in this category, two if you count driving another one to the start of a marathon once because he's close friends with a friend of mine). And then of course, are the tiny handful of ultrarunners who compete in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barkley_Marathons" target="_blank">Barkley marathons</a>. If you want to begin a dive down a deep rabbit hole, you should read through that link and then go watch a documentary of the event. After that, you can join many other people who follow the event annually on Twitter. My brief summary is that it's a crazy long race in crazy difficult conditions, that almost no one can actually complete.<br />
<br />
The race director of this event is legendarily crazy. Any time someone finishes the Barkley, the course gets harder. He's honed the art of challenging people physically, and he appears to love running and wants to inspire others.<br />
<br />
So this summer, he started the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which was advertised to be 1,000 kilometers. Turns out, it's actually a bit further than that. It's actually 1021.68 kilometers. In miles, that equates to 5.5 miles every day from May 1 to August 31. That's a LOT of miles. Runners and walkers can compete. There was a small entry fee, which included a t-shirt and, for finishers, a medal. He figured he could keep a few race related businesses up and running if he had an event. Not sure he realized there would be 19,000 runners and walkers across the world willing to compete!<br />
<br />
I couldn't resist. I wanted a challenge and I'm never going to be able to compete in one of this guys regular (which are not at all regular) races. They're far too challenging for me.<br />
<br />
But this? Maybe?<br />
<br />
So far, it seems possible. But unlike most other challenges I've participated in, there is no way to speed this up in any meaningful way. If I run too far one day, I'll be too tired to run the next, losing any gain. And, because I have over 500 miles left to go - I can't just knock it out and be done.<br />
<br />
I've never counted my walking miles before, so I don't have a good idea of how much my total mileage has increased - but given how sore my body is, I can guess it's been a lot. As of yesterday, I had logged 111.1 miles. A quick look at stats from my watch showed that of those, 81 had been from running, which means I'm looking at running miles similar to when I'm in all out marathon training. Trixie and I have been walking a lot (looks like a little under 2 miles most days).<br />
<br />
My projected finish day is August 12.<br />
<br />
So far, I met a woman in my actual running group for some virtual BBQ in Memphis. Can't wait to explore Tennessee virtually this summer!<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-37069265124627381462020-05-08T10:43:00.000-04:002020-05-08T10:43:05.978-04:00RenewalIt is hard to look around and see so many things closed. Every restaurant, knitting store, butcher - all someone's dream, and all at risk of closing if the shut down continues much longer and the government doesn't step in to provide substantial assistance. <br />
<br /><br />
The same is true for so many opportunities lost for my family. I was supposed to have lunch with Ruth Bader Ginsburg last Sunday, arranged by women I'm cohosting a conference with (which has been delayed until 2021). Connor was supposed to be in New York last weekend and Helen had an orchestra field trip overnight that included an amusement park. Lots of fun time lost.<br />
<br /><br />
But I'm trying to view life from a perspective of growth and opportunity, rather than loss.<br />
<br /><br />
Last year, when my family was in Hawaii, we took a small plane over an area where a volcano had erupted the previous year. For miles and miles, all you could see was lava that had leveled neighborhoods. A road that you could previously drive through a park had collapsed and dropped many feet. It was incredible.<br />
<br /><br />
But when we asked about how people responded, we heard stories of resiliency. Rather than talk of a home being mowed down, people talked about the opportunity for the island to grow and be made new.<br />
<br /><br />
That's a touch lesson, and one I don't understand well, but in the last week, my children have heard talks from two astronauts, watched a program with climate scientists, and there are several other lectures planned. These are new opportunities, brought about by this pandemic.<br />
<br /><br />
So...what will we build when we wake from this paused economy? Will it be more fair? Will it capture a new imagination? Will we learn there are fewer boundaries than we previously thought?Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-34053390982745074012020-04-20T09:22:00.000-04:002020-04-20T09:22:01.285-04:00RhythmWhen the kids were little, Ed and I focused a lot on rhythm. The day's start and end were consistent. We implemented a schedule of breakfasts that rotated throughout the week. We tried to honor their need to breathe in and then breathe out<i>, </i>alternating activities of activity and inactivity. And for the most part, it worked.<br />
<br />
And of course, even though they both typically spend a significant amount of time outside my home now, they still have their rhythms - and those are difficult to replicate.<br />
<br />
Connor will sit and program on his computer (he's trying to test out of a class) for a solid two hours, and then he'll need a little break. Often, he'll go back to it after a break. It struck me as I observed this that it probably reflected his day - where his classes meet for a couple of hours, he shifts to a new class, and then that class meets for a couple of hours. All told, he meets in four classes most days. (One day, all seven classes happen, and the students uniformly do not like the rushing it entails.)<br />
<br />
Helen, on the other hand, attends seven classes every day. So her natural rhythm is one of fourty-five minute blocks, and then some social time in the hallways as she moves to her next class. This is really hard to replicate at home. And I think she feels that.<br />
<br />
Ed and I, on the other hand, go to work, sit for extended periods, and have small interuptions which we have a lot of control over. That's no longer true in a work from home format. The calls are endless. And there is no ability to just pop out of my office, grab a drink of water, and expect to find a colleague to bounce an idea off of. I haven't talked to my boss in a long time. It's a little unnerving.<br />
<br />
In some ways, this feels like we're back to those early days - except in those early days, when we were a round, we were generally available to our children. Now, we're around, but also trying to work. That seems to make it harder to establish rhythms we can all live in - but we're also all more flexible than we used to be.<br />
<br />
I'm at day 41 of being home. That's a long time!<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-44883592172787894572020-04-02T13:41:00.001-04:002020-04-02T13:41:27.747-04:00April Fool's DaySince everything is topsy-turvy here, I wasn't sure what to expect for April Fool's Day. Occasionally, we pull off some modest surprises, but mostly we can't think of anything that good.<br />
<br />
We started the day off with our standard prank of making the lightbulb in the refrigerator not work. The kids and I usually just tape the little button that comes on and off with the door opening to remain off, but after a few years, Ed has actually wised up to this. So...this year I also unscrewed the lighbulbs a bit. Didn't really fool him, but he played along.<br />
<br />
I had an all-day online meeting with a group I only meet with a few times a year. I ran up the stairs at 8:27, giving myself just a few minutes to shift offices (I've been working in the dining room) to the upstairs guest room (where Ed has been working). I logged on - and my screen was blue - with a lot of words about there being a system error and instructions to try turning the computer on and off. That did not work. Blue screen again - and now I was risking being late. So I hopped on my phone to call in from there - and Helen came running upstairs. She is the only person in my family who is not a turd. She explained what they had done, fixed my computer, and by the time I got on my meeting I learned we were actually starting at 9 - so I was still early. (Usually we have breakfast together and chat before the meeting starts.)<br />
<br />
In other words, my family nailed me.<br />
<br />
And then, a few hours later, when I hopped on my computer to wrap something up, Ed had reset my computer so the damn screen came up again.<br />
<br />
Connor was more modest in his pranks, and I didn't discover until this morning that he had put a piece of tape over my mouse's sensor so it wouldn't work properly. Tricked again.<br />
<br />
I was able to get Helen - and almost get Connor. I told Helen that Governor Northam had just finished his press conference and the state had decided that students would repeat the grade they were currently in next year. Her face fell a little and I could see the anger. I quickly told her it was a joke. When I went to play the same joke on Connor, he started to fall for it but then realized it couldn't be true. Almost got him - but not quite.<br />
<br />
My dad played his usual trick of calling the kids up and letting them know an elephant was on the lawn. The kids are old enough to not fall for it any longer, but I think they still enjoy the call.<br />
<br />
Hope your April Fool's Day was as fun as you wanted it to be.<br />
<br />
Elaine<br />
<br />
PS: My mom will be happy to read that I found one final jar of her strawberry jelly in the freezer. I pulled it out and both Connor and Helen have been enjoying it. Good thing strawberry season is around the corner!Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-50888959935240374562020-04-01T12:00:00.001-04:002020-04-01T12:00:23.054-04:00COVID-19 DiaryMarch 31. Starting a little late here - but might as well jump in. Almost three weeks ago, I stopped going in to my office. The office officially closed on Monday, March 16 - but I figured it was safer to stay at home ASAP, so I stopped commuting on Wednesday, March 11.<br />
<br />
Connor stopped being able to attend school on March 13 (which I think is the first day Ed worked from home) and Helen's school system closed on the following Monday, March 16.<br />
<br />
On March 13, our governor announced that schools would be closed through the remainder of the school year, and the students and teachers would instead engage in "distance learning". Hearing that schools were closed for the duration of the year was hard.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, March 30, Virginia got a stay home order, which doesn't change our lives too terribly much since we've been mostly hunkered down - but the stay home order is in place until JUNE 10. JUNE 10 is a LONG ways away. That was hard to hear.<br />
<br />
April 1. There is an <a href="https://covid19.healthdata.org/projections" target="_blank">interesting model</a> that attempts to project hospital needs, based on a few inputs including when schools were closed, when a stay home order was put in place, when non-essesntial services were shut down, and when travael was severely restricted. Also feeding into the model are reported cases and death. The analysis is state-by-state, and in some cases, it's pretty comforting.<br />
<br />
But not today.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, the data did not include the date of Virginia's stay-home order, which should have the effect of pushing our peak resource need out considerably. It also wasn't totally up to date on deaths and confirmed cases.<br />
<br />
The model suggested that peak usage would be May 28 in Virginia. And, because I have family in Kansas, I recorded the peak usage day in Kansas as well - April 27. The US peak usage day was projected to be April 15 - but given the unevenness of this mess, it's hard to derive much meaning from that date.<br />
<br />
Overnight, the model was updated. For the US, the peak usage date was pushed back one day - to April 16. But here in Virginia, our peak usage day was MOVED FORWARD! Our peak usage predicted date is now May 20. Kansas was pushed back a day to April 28.<br />
<br />
So...when an input that should have pushed our date back was added - it wasn't enough to outweigh the inputs that move the date forward, which is presumably identified cases. Maybe the first date was false, because testing has been so inconsistent, so the change doesn't really mean anything. But when I look at the numbers - and I really see it as there being very little else we could do, personally - today slots solidly into the "hard days" column. These days are thankfully rare, but really overwhelming.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-77705152264582655862020-03-06T15:17:00.002-05:002020-03-06T15:17:41.378-05:00Election 2020: Self Fulfilling ProphesyAnother democratic primary season is coming to a close, and despite this season starting out with many qualified women, not a one remains in the race. Inside, I feel like 2016 all over again. Kick me now, lest I ever be able to stand up again.<br />
<br />
In some ways, maybe this is better than 2016. At least I won't have to watch my gal lose to a monster.<br />
<br />
In other ways, it's worse.<br />
<br />
For a while, I could pretend that people uniquely hated HRC, so that must be why she lost. Maybe it was because she was a woman, but maybe...it was something else? (Please, let it be something else!) It wasn't qualifications. Our current president is not more qualified. As of right now, he's pretending that a virus that is spreading rapidly is a hoax brought to bring down his presidency. He's suggesting that a flu vaccine could be the answer and every day I am assualted by another news article about how he's let this get more out of control than it should have. And seriously, I could write this post any day in the past two years or until he's out of office and there will be an equally inane story about his incompetence to tell.<br />
<br />
But now, with Elizabeth Warren's candidacy ending, I think it's appropriate to call a spade a spade. We hate smart women. We find them "<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2020/03/america-punished-elizabeth-warren-her-competence/607531/" target="_blank">condescending</a>". And even though we promise that we personally like women and would vote for one - we just cannot do that this time because she's not <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/05/us/warren-presidential-race-2020.html" target="_blank">electable</a>. And truly, it is taking everything I have not to punch a friend who sent me a note about how I just have to vote for her old white guy because he is electable - even if my gal, Warren, is smarter and better at governing. And then followed it up with a remark about someone having a "social media tantrum" shortly after I called the plea to vote for her guy out for the BS that it was.<br />
<br />
The stats on the share of people voting for Old White Guy who did so because they changed their mind in the last 48 hours before voting is punishing. Fear, no doubt, is a powerful motivator.<br />
<br />
But I stand with women. [And I am nearly brought to my knees knowing that I will be at least FIFTY before I see a woman President and Helen will be driving. Don't tell my enlightened 12 year old self this because she will laugh at you if you tell her she has to wait until she's at least FIFTY to see a woman occupy the highest seat in government. She just knows we're better than this. - Sorry, 12 year old self, we were super wrong.]<br />
<br />
One of my earlier political memories is that of Anita Hill. In 1991, just after I had graduated from high school, she testified before Congress that the Supreme Court nominee had sexually harassed her when he was her employer. The story gained a lot of traction, presumably, because the nominee had spent very little time actually being a judge. But we were assured he was an excellent choice because of his outstanding character. Anita Hill's testimony put that character in doubt.<br />
<br />
That man sits on the Supreme Court, still. And every time I see a photo of him it burns me.<br />
<br />
It's not easy to forget how Anita Hill was treated. And yes, I am fully aware Old White Guy has apologized profusely for how he crapped on Hill when he was a Senator and she was testifying. But that apology doesn't mean much when Thomas gets to sit on the Supreme Court - for life.<br />
<br />
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.<br />
<br />
You may have won, but I assure you, when Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the race - we lost.<br />
<br />
Again.Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-84902837741739777722020-01-07T13:18:00.002-05:002020-01-07T13:18:58.513-05:00Good Guys, Bad GuysLast night, one of the moms in my Girl Scout troop arranged to have a canine expert from the police department provide a presentation. It will, without a doubt, be the most memorable meeting of the year that the girls all loved. DOGS!!<br />
<br /><br />
As the police officer was giving his spiel, he noted that his dog was trained to go after the "bad guys" and although I'm sure he was using simplified language for the girls, I couldn't help but think was an easy life he projected. He seemed to be able to divide the world into "bad guys" - the ones that get chased by dogs and "good guys" - the ones who send the dogs chasing. How quaint, I thought.<br />
<br /><br />
Because it is not lost on me that the world is - quite literally, but also figuratively - on fire today, and has been for some time. And it's going to remain that way for a long time - and I can't help but think it's because we have no collective clue of who the good guys are and who the bad guys are.<br />
<br /><br />
Sigh.Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-59722946141058746592019-10-21T11:46:00.000-04:002019-10-21T11:46:31.019-04:00BravoNathan is my friend that is an opera singer. When I went to operas with Nathan in college, he would - from the balcony - stand up at the end of the event and shout BRAVO so loudly and clearly that I am certain everyone in the theater heard him.<br />
<br />
Next to Nathan, my voice felt small. My applause felt like not enough. I was in awe. But I couldn't bring myself to shout my cheers. I stood next to him and applauded.<br />
<br />
When I became a parent, and I first saw my children do something - I was so overwhelmed with how awesome the world is - that a small child can just DO SOMETHING - ANYTHING - that at the end, I summoned my inner Nathan and shouted "Bravo". And I noticed that no one else did this. I thought it was a little odd, but I think that a lot, so I didn't dwell on it much.<br />
<br />
I realize now that many people might have taken that moment as a cue and become a little more subtle. I did not. I have not. And I don't regret it.<br />
<br />
When my niece graduated from high school -which felt like such a big and important deal to me, she walked across the stage and I could not help myself. I shouted "Bravo". And immediately, I cringed inside a tiny bit because I knew it would end up on my brother-in-law's video, and I was thinking that I should have been a little more reserved so that my voice wouldn't be blotting out whatever other cool things were happening. But I was so proud of her and I was awash in happy feelings of my own graduation and if there was any chance for her to hear me, I wanted to take it.<br />
<br />
A few months ago, she reposted the video, and she was not at all miffed that my "bravo" stood out, but instead said it was how she knew I was there, and that it meant a lot to her. I told her that was how I was going to wake her from a coma if she ever fell into one - and I was only a little bit joking.<br />
<br />
This summer, Helen was in a theater production and on the way there, she said "Mom, at the end, just clap. Do not say "bravo". Everyone knows it's you and it's embarrassing". To which I said "For real? Don't you want to know I'm there. Don't you think how boring all the other people in the audience must be?" And she said "actually, yes, do whatever you want". And I could tell, the way only a parent can, that she was actually having this conversation to point out that I better keep being me.<br />
<br />
At the performance, I shouted my "bravo" at the end, and her friend next to her looked at her and said "Helen, your mom is here!". And they had a little conversation about it, and Helen was beaming. That other girl's mom? Sitting right in front of me.<br />
<br />
I think a lot about what I'm leaving for my kids when I'm gone. And I really do hope that when they are older, and I am no longer in the audience, there's a little voice in their head, that mimics mine.<br />
<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-57190540052469169392019-03-28T15:21:00.000-04:002019-03-28T15:21:03.969-04:00MomBeing the mom inevitably involves a lot of driving, cajoling, praising, holding back, supporting, reminding, questioning, disciplining, and losing sleep. But I have noticed something - almost every time an athlete finishes a race, he or she looks up for his or her mom. And whenever he or she sits for an interview, the first thanks go to the mom for always being there. Sometimes, the looks and thanks go to the parents, but I have yet to see an athlete finish an event and give the dad top billing.<br />
<br />
And I think I know why. Because the moment motherhood happens, there is some fierce belief in this child that takes place. Moms are endowed with the knowledge that, given the right conditions, her child can succeed. And it's as if the whole relationship from there on out is infused with this knowledge which can never be taken away. Moms have their kids' backs, even when it makes no sense to do so.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying dads aren't fiercely loyal, and my own dad attended more softball games than I can count, and even drove me to Dallas to audition for a school he would never allow me to attend (I'm almost NOT bitter about that any more, Dad, thanks to a recent epiphany I had).<br />
<br />
But for better or worse, I think a lot of moms are the ones who get the meal on the table, get the laundry started, and pick up the pieces when they all fall apart.<br />
<br />
And while it often feels like the hardest, thankless task that exists, it gets noticed.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Mom.<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-45847747939004867342019-01-10T09:16:00.003-05:002019-01-10T09:16:27.133-05:00Washington-Loving High School?Living in Virginia is somewhat bizarre. Unlike our neighbors in Maryland who like to pretend their from the North even though *cough* Mason-Dixon Lind *cough*, we in Virginia know we are part of the South. But in Northern Virginia, we like our Democrats, have turned our state from a swing state to a solid blue state, and we generally adopt progressive policies. So while we have a legacy of being in the South, we govern like our friends in the North.<br />
<br /><br />
But still...we are encumbered with reminders of the South all the time. Ed's and my first shared living space was a few blocks away from Jefferson Davis Highway. For real. And pretty much every few blocks there's something named after General Lee or another guy famous for fighting for the South. Partly, it's because Virginia bred a ton of these guys. Partly, it's because after the Civil War ended discontented people were really good at getting major things named for their losing people. I suppose at the time it seemed like a nice gesture from the winners.<br />
<br /><br />
Now, amidst a national conversation on race and very painful histories, that gesture doesn't seem too appropriate. And I agree with the folks who think it's time to stop honoring all these folks who advanced terrible positions. Which is how the high school near me got caught up in a name change.<br />
<br /><br />
Today, it is called Washington-Lee. Tomorrow, it will likely be called Washington-Loving. What's up with the Loving? It's the Supreme Court case that legalized interracial marriage, and it was brought by Virginians. That feels like a better thing to honor than a commander of the Confederate Army. <br />
<br /><br />
Tonight, the school board will vote on whether to follow the committee recommendation and remove Lee from the school's name. No doubt, tomorrow will be filled with Lee apologists, and for years - the school will be called by the wrong moniker. <br />
<br /><br />
But, eh? I like the idea of not having Lee's name on a public building a few blocks from my home. <br />
<br /><br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-90584343799287377612018-10-05T09:15:00.001-04:002018-10-05T09:15:55.697-04:00Bears!This vacation actually took place in the summer of 2017. But...somehow the post got caught in my drafts, so I'm posting more than a year late!<br />
<br />
We went way up North in Minnesota to check out the bears at the Vince Shute Wildlife Sanctuary. It's both a terrible and wonderful place.<br />
<br />
Years ago, Vince Shute - a Minnesota Logger, was shooting black bears left and right so he could run his business. Eventually, he got tired of doing this, and decided the bears didn't want to mess up his business, they were hungry. So he started feeding them. And while this did solve the nuisance bear problem he faced - they stopped getting into his cabins and disrupting his business, it also created a problem that persists today - bears looking for food at what is now the Sanctuary (the logging business ended quite some time ago), rather than in the wild.<br />
<br />
Today, of course, we would never open an operation like this. We know it's a bad idea to feed bears because they will, no doubt, start to rely on that food. But at this point, the operators of the Sanctuary don't see a way out. If they stopped feeding them tomorrow, the bears would become nuisance bears in the nearby town, and nobody wants that. They've opted, instead, to feed the bears the highest quality diet they can, emulating what the bears search for in the wild to the extent possible (no more sour-dough pancakes from Vince!). They do this for most of the non-hibernation months - and guess they feed about 400 bears a year. Some return a lot, some for brief periods (I'm not actually sure I believe that last bit).<br />
<br />
From 5:00 - 8:00, Tuesday - Sunday, visitors can pay a small fee and enter the Sanctuary. From there, you can take a bus out to a platform, and then sit and watch bears.<br />
<br />
It's nuts. Truly. We saw 20 - 40 bears there every evening we visited. We saw baby bears climbing trees every evening we visited (what could be cuter?). We saw a bear that likes to lounge in front of a cabin, bears that went up on their hind legs and growled - everything you can imagine. It's the only sanctuary dedicated to black bears in the world, and getting there is not particularly easy.<br />
<br />
My best friend from elementary school and her two daughters met us there. The four kids were perfect companions, with two introverts and two extroverts running around from sun up, when they would often relight a fire left smoking from the night before before playing a few games, paddling around a bit, and checking out the area our cabin was in.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-COJQvGVOUUUZJ8mw7I3lp3fsXNd5sc6JBnIISvfA1SQgmSlt1K7C8VzTwhL8KAzLmCuy83dG2ijnzijdPuRJEILVXNzMoLbC36HtNEJGed-MyDvRbdYUOP_klrZXBGsxlU0Rl1AX8-pS/s1600/IMG_1870.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-COJQvGVOUUUZJ8mw7I3lp3fsXNd5sc6JBnIISvfA1SQgmSlt1K7C8VzTwhL8KAzLmCuy83dG2ijnzijdPuRJEILVXNzMoLbC36HtNEJGed-MyDvRbdYUOP_klrZXBGsxlU0Rl1AX8-pS/s320/IMG_1870.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBtIxZzRVfTuWLoBIZ28_6ULz_lzffUHoWkkQfa6gdEeFhlnm4JlOttHXzrca12EcPcj2FCZhfQbKv9U-XZDh99NGPBGTFTxFM8Sf6YFrdXy76lV-DDmqGTF8t1GPqQZfiPZA8WE3yQhx/s1600/IMG_1959.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUBtIxZzRVfTuWLoBIZ28_6ULz_lzffUHoWkkQfa6gdEeFhlnm4JlOttHXzrca12EcPcj2FCZhfQbKv9U-XZDh99NGPBGTFTxFM8Sf6YFrdXy76lV-DDmqGTF8t1GPqQZfiPZA8WE3yQhx/s320/IMG_1959.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCkGecM-eT-xQRhRJZmWtUbCmdUoXEHUI8io36qT2kQfTbwoRsouYaoYGBUSvumSR-QXkc28SpvtTvtq7gW8K9hzpcFx2nS0gr0VgmOHIU4Oshac1Z6kL_rZ-UWPGGtGl84sN2bMBLsq2/s1600/IMG_1995.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCkGecM-eT-xQRhRJZmWtUbCmdUoXEHUI8io36qT2kQfTbwoRsouYaoYGBUSvumSR-QXkc28SpvtTvtq7gW8K9hzpcFx2nS0gr0VgmOHIU4Oshac1Z6kL_rZ-UWPGGtGl84sN2bMBLsq2/s320/IMG_1995.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9sOfSTeudOXaYTKNB-wJvqUPrE4W8hx1Bx5IeyTfafkP_GlpD6ua2lafz6XuMyaShaJO_24VrKOfoPCjx7oRy6uQjcQNpHC3vsX-fNGczjHCscj6O7iuubtFFO92Aam9yjn0C7334OULI/s1600/IMG_2034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9sOfSTeudOXaYTKNB-wJvqUPrE4W8hx1Bx5IeyTfafkP_GlpD6ua2lafz6XuMyaShaJO_24VrKOfoPCjx7oRy6uQjcQNpHC3vsX-fNGczjHCscj6O7iuubtFFO92Aam9yjn0C7334OULI/s320/IMG_2034.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6VrW2K8kYHMnIgNmHl9Yhyphenhyphenm7bMiv4h9wOqchiZn6hgfFBuh2AVMOBhESx_FmE2C5NDfeW6v1Wp67AopeddROlQ6ekmkjrAq9VwK67lIcMOvSkoN1HLPhb5yLDNyOyoQbFfeKdF20S40-/s1600/IMG_2177.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk6VrW2K8kYHMnIgNmHl9Yhyphenhyphenm7bMiv4h9wOqchiZn6hgfFBuh2AVMOBhESx_FmE2C5NDfeW6v1Wp67AopeddROlQ6ekmkjrAq9VwK67lIcMOvSkoN1HLPhb5yLDNyOyoQbFfeKdF20S40-/s320/IMG_2177.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPW4e_OuM-A5v5FBccP3Y9TdZ0JYlxYlyPoZI2oKld765tCEObVUFsXgRbekor27VONngqDphe9ALJpJjAFpTq2w7y0nLIUh9drSi9cnsRIO3Qai2X_NvLT9nDqU3cBnGSUYV-RVe2QCcz/s1600/IMG_2179+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPW4e_OuM-A5v5FBccP3Y9TdZ0JYlxYlyPoZI2oKld765tCEObVUFsXgRbekor27VONngqDphe9ALJpJjAFpTq2w7y0nLIUh9drSi9cnsRIO3Qai2X_NvLT9nDqU3cBnGSUYV-RVe2QCcz/s320/IMG_2179+1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-32141149878042585892018-09-27T08:44:00.003-04:002018-09-27T08:44:42.273-04:00The Air KissA couple of days ago, I decided to run some errands with Helen while Connor was at his piano lesson. Helen has a few friends having bday parties soon - and sometimes it's nice to go to the toy store a few miles from our home rather than the one up the street to get a little variety. We moved deftly through the shopping process and had a few more minutes to spare, so I decided to go to the music store a few minutes away to pick up a book of music I've been needing to grab for Connor.<br />
<br />
The music store was a madhouse. Is it possible that every single elementary student deciding whether to rent or buy their instrument had coordinated with each other to hit the music store? It felt like it. I couldn't find the book, and then it took a while to hail someone who worked at the store to help me, and it took her a few minutes as well.<br />
<br />
After saying no to roughly ten million music doodads (think pencils, stickers, buttons), we were finally out of the store, with book in hand. Helen trotted around to the passenger side of the car, and I decided to toss my purchase into the backseat.<br />
<br />
I was moving too fast and flustered, I suppose, but somehow I managed to smash my finger in the door. It was far enough in that I had to open the car door with my other hand to free my trapped finger.<br />
<br />
The pain was so intense, I thought I might black out. Helen heard me scream and came running to my aid - immediately pronouncing that she knew I had smashed something in the door from the terror in my voice. My finger was bleeding, I was holding back tears, Helen was asking if I needed ice, I was groping for the first aid kit hoping for a band aid. It was a mess.<br />
<br />
And then Helen said "I'm so sorry - do you want me to give it a kiss? Well, maybe just an air kiss?"<br />
<br />
It was so sweet, that I immediately thought of all those times when she was little and just needed a kiss to feel better and head on her way.<br />
<br />
I guess the instinct to comfort sunk in - even if the kiss is not actually a physical healer. Indeed, an air kiss was just what I needed.<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-54597485751671913572018-09-10T08:00:00.000-04:002018-09-10T08:00:00.177-04:00Pocketknives <div class="MsoNormal">
We took a family vacation that lasted 17 days. Our internet
was junky or nonexistent, and I’m not particularly enamored with my job right
now, so I just turned my work email off. I had warned people before I left that
I wouldn’t be available – and I wasn’t. That’s rare for me, because long ago
when I moved to part-time, I made a deal with my boss that I’d be available on
my days off if an emergency arose. Even though I’m full-time now, that habit is
a hard one to break.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In any case, on day 8 of the trip, the children acquired
pocket knives. The little one spent a car ride asking, from the backseat, for
things she could cut. I sat in the front, muttering to her father “it’s on you
to take her to the clinic when she cuts herself “. It was a good example of why
having parents willing to take different risks is nice for kids. I would’ve
just said “no” to the pocketknife. And in fact, when I was approached, I could
tell some negotiations had already taken place, and I made the quick decision
to let Ed be the bad guy. I told her to ask her father.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was a huge mistake. Because while I see almost no
benefit to having the contraptions and plenty of risk, he sees dreams
fulfilled. How powerful is a girl wielding a pocketknife?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So far…not powerful enough to injure herself,
but that bar of soap that crossed her path is full of regret!</span>Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-2775450385709760702018-09-06T17:03:00.000-04:002018-09-06T17:03:55.404-04:00Teen in the House<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am the mother of a teen. That’s the kind of news that
starts to sink in a few days before it actually happens, and then continues a
few weeks after that. It’s not that I either want or expect my children to stay
eternally young. I like all of the stages we’ve traversed together, and I look forward
to more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when you have a teen in the house, there is just no way
to deny that time is moving forward. Quickly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re on vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, and while Ed and
Connor make their way through a ropes course together, I have opted to play the
role of chaperone to Helen. She’s too young- or more likely-too small to be
with them. She’s stuck on a smaller course. It kills her. I know. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this is somewhat ironic, since just a few hours earlier
we went hiking to a rock that our travel book declared made a great place to
jump into the lake – at least 25 feet below. Helen was the first to take the
leap, and Connor only followed to save his pride. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Regardless, as I look up at Helen, it hits me like the
proverbial ton of bricks. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parenting from here on out involves a lot of trust. Trust
that the world will provide a safe place to tether to, and trust that your
child will find those places and tether on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a series of moments when I realize that my heart is
doomed to dangle dangerously outside my body, and the best thing to do is let
that happen. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And even when I’m not sure what the ending will be, the
story must be written in someone else’s handwriting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br /><br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-77451719567399753322018-08-02T11:40:00.001-04:002018-08-02T11:40:12.682-04:00InstitutionsAs Trump's presidency unfolds, I find myself walking very lightly most days.<br />
<br />
Some concerns I have are about today - will these children ever be reunited with their families? Will the investigation be completed before another election? How compromised is our government and how much more so will it be in the near future? And note, a friend I was running with who has held high level defense positions said to make no bones about it, our president is compromised. I believe her.<br />
<br />
Most of my fears are longer term. Will my children grow up in a more racist, more sexist world than I came of age in? Will my democracy be stronger than whatever is trying to undermine it? Will the US get backed into a corner and come out swinging dangerously? And more.<br />
<br />
It occurred to me the other day that Ed does not have anxiety about our world. He is not worried that alienating our allies will be impossible to fix. He does not fear a world where the budget is so messed up we will not be able to provide assistance to anyone. By all accounts - he seems fine.<br />
<br />
And so I asked him - how can you be fine when I'm struggling to breathe on occasion - and though it doesn't happen often, I still hold back tears when I think about the state of our country too long? How is this even possible? Because I know Ed is a compassionate, brilliant person.<br />
<br />
His answer was simple. He believes our institutions are strong enough to keep everything together, in the end. I had to process that for a minute. His faith in our system of government is so strong, he can simultaneously say what is happening is truly horrible, but also know in his head it will be fine.<br />
<br />
That was mind boggling to me. Until it occurred to me that he, I'm guessing, has never been let down by the institutions around him. He's never been in a meeting where someone talked over him and took credit for his idea. He's never had the President of another company talk shop with everyone in the room until he walked up and chose to talk about children with him instead. He is always seen in exactly the role he's participating in - and I know not one single woman or person of color that can say the same thing.<br />
<br />
We have all been knocked around unfairly - and each time it has happened, I suspect I've lost a little bit of my faith in these institutions. I have spent so much time curating a world for my daughter where she knows, without doubt, she is deserving of every space she inhabits - that the notion that the bigger world hasn't come along is maddening.<br />
<br />
I have two voices inside me. One that tells me my daughter is in for a world of hurt, and one that tells me this nightmare will end.<br />
<br />
Elaine<br />
<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-42889065878170101032018-06-29T10:31:00.000-04:002018-07-03T12:16:34.770-04:00Summer...Summer...SummerFor a few years, we created a <a href="http://connorandhelen.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-summer-list.html" target="_blank">summer list</a>, which proved to be excellent motivation to get out and about during the summer. It turns out, a lot of these activities became embedded in our lives, and we've done them over and over. One exception? Picking fruit. This always seems like such a wonderful idea, but the bottom line is that it's hot, dirty, often in the sun - and usually costs about as much as buying the fruit at the farmer's market, which is what we do now.<br />
<br />
This summer will be a little heavier on the hiking side than typical because we're heading to Yellowstone for a couple of weeks at the end of the summer. While there, we plan to hit a few hikes and stay overnight in tents. Presumably, it will not be quite as hot in Wyoming as it is here in DC, or we'll be so used to the heat that it won't matter. (Note: it was already 80 degrees when I set out on my run this morning at 6:00 AM!)<br />
<br />
We're lucky to be at the point we are with the kids, which is that they can make it a day outdoors expending energy without accompanying that with a lot of complaints. It's true that I have developed the ability to just ignore complaining small people, but I believe they have actually stopped complaining. The one issue that still causes a bit of forethought on my part is snacks, because my children would eat candy and chips all day if given the choice, but I know they need some protein to keep their bodies fueled.<br />
<br />
We use to send them to camps and other outings with Stonyfield tube yogurt, but <a href="https://www.stonyfield.com/" target="_blank">Stonyfield </a>has recently added <a href="https://www.stonyfield.com/products/baby-kids/kids-yogurts/whole-milk-pouches" target="_blank">resealable pouches</a> to its lineup, and that's a big help for on-the-go snacking. Like other Stonyfield products, it has 25-35% less sugar than competitors, which means I don't feel like my stomach needs to do gymnastics to process the stuff. And, my children have yet to notice the missing sugar.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5fIerP9D_p5laMVtJWmxCgfpveJ5_-JypbkI7kcDNLwZirA_ZJJ07t7Bc0siVcJUJgJQpaDyCAgcN10-gEwTPcCGmrsEJuPge7TbZxregfe8_CTEDa8aUWdRJWYEkwHvODR0PSdquXUSv/s1600/IMG_6271.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5fIerP9D_p5laMVtJWmxCgfpveJ5_-JypbkI7kcDNLwZirA_ZJJ07t7Bc0siVcJUJgJQpaDyCAgcN10-gEwTPcCGmrsEJuPge7TbZxregfe8_CTEDa8aUWdRJWYEkwHvODR0PSdquXUSv/s320/IMG_6271.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
We've been testing these babies out at the pool, at camps, and even in our own backyard. We'll definitely be packing them for our trip. And, pro-tip, stick it in the freezer a few hours before your adventure or overnight and you have a cool treat to take along on your travels.<br />
<br />
Because it's summer, we are loading up on sunscreen as well. I was lucky because Stonyfield partnered with a brand that is already in my house, <a href="https://www.badgerbalm.com/default.aspx" target="_blank">Badger Sunscreen</a> (and if you have extra money in an MSA you can purchase a case of sunscreen and get reimbursed from your MSA, like, ahem, I did last year!). Why is Badger already my brand of choice? Because every year it gets rated highly by the <a href="https://www.ewg.org/sunscreen/#.WzuH9NVKhQI" target="_blank">Environmental Working Group</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqhxCrgg-wQxI-9dg1SkroY_rJR5neQ0Bq9pXSIAc_dKPqFNurrllitXhBz_peYOLU7yz5trzlLeTAyhlZHur-SkmXKNPE11wNj3tjBi4ZFrJqe47NcSw7ZDVYLABQHthE-3VQ8WkguTmX/s1600/IMG_6256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqhxCrgg-wQxI-9dg1SkroY_rJR5neQ0Bq9pXSIAc_dKPqFNurrllitXhBz_peYOLU7yz5trzlLeTAyhlZHur-SkmXKNPE11wNj3tjBi4ZFrJqe47NcSw7ZDVYLABQHthE-3VQ8WkguTmX/s320/IMG_6256.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
So, coupled with the fact that I am still trying to spend my money where my heart is - which is with companies working to protect my children and the environment, I'm feeling quite prepared for our summer vacation.<br />
<br />
We'll be testing the sunscreen and yogurt pouches in a couple of weeks when we vacation at a lake in Upstate New York. Hopefully I'll remember to post the photos of my not hungry and not sunburned children!<br />
<br />
Elaine<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-90009207917491838052018-06-26T11:04:00.003-04:002018-06-26T11:04:57.573-04:00New Commuting PartnerThis week, Connor is enrolled in a camp on Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. When I signed him up for it, I *thought* it was at the college campus a few blocks from my office. I learned that it's at that college - but at a satellite campus north of my office, which is only important because it means the drive in would be much worse than my commute.<br />
<br /><br />
When I was still in the phase of thinking the camp was by my office, I told Connor we could be commuting partners. He could hop on his bike, follow me, and then we could bike home together. I did not tell him that biking home was essentially straight uphill. <br />
<br /><br />
Then, I received the notice that this camp was not where I thought it was, but an out of town friend who is sending her child to the same camp later in the summer told me there was a magical shuttle that would take Connor from the main campus to the satellite campus. Problem solved! So I came clean on the difficulty of the commute home, which Connor was OK with.<br />
<br /><br />
Yesterday, we commuted together in what I can only describe as my best bike ride into work yet. And, as much as a broken record like I know I sound like, I do believe we have reached the glory days of parenting. He was an absolute sport as I issued warnings about various roads, cars, other bikes, etc. We rode the shuttle together in the morning, but then he rode it back at the end of the day on his own. Yay to me, since that meant I didn't have to ride the bus AND could get in another hour of work.<br />
<br /><br />
And then we started our bike ride home. I told Connor we could catch a bus if he wanted, but he decided to go for the ride. He crushed it. And, just for sport, on the very last uphill on our way home when he knew where he was, I hear him cruising by my with the standard bike warning "on your left". Of course, when he reached the top of the hill he was about dead, but I think it was worth it to him to pass me.<br />
<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHV7zQkeaeC4FkDKYC4EvZVx8je6oJ1XkrBtXOaM_BM-nM9etyOoLv-Xw1HjCn36pX59rAepRgkqtYnRVflzllNljAUeBg3Yg20XVl3sX-Hq5C1kMqWTdpduFk_Q8_dtduQXfq5nlwFnN1/s1600/Connor+bike.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHV7zQkeaeC4FkDKYC4EvZVx8je6oJ1XkrBtXOaM_BM-nM9etyOoLv-Xw1HjCn36pX59rAepRgkqtYnRVflzllNljAUeBg3Yg20XVl3sX-Hq5C1kMqWTdpduFk_Q8_dtduQXfq5nlwFnN1/s320/Connor+bike.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /><br />
Day 2 morning commute was uneventful. Trying to decide now if I risk three days in a row or if I decide we should commute by subway tomorrow.<br />
<br /><br />
Elaine<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-21214366940449630092018-06-04T11:38:00.004-04:002018-06-05T13:43:51.659-04:00Encore Stage's Pinocchio - a Real Treat!My children and I haven't been hitting the theater much lately. Mostly, we've just drifted towards other things. But when I received an offer to go see <a href="http://www.encorestageva.org/" target="_blank">Encore Stage and Studio</a>'s production of Pinocchio - I tested the waters and got a resounding "yes!". BONUS: It turns out my friend's daughter was in the show - so that was an extra treat! I highly recommend the show and hope you go see it next weekend.<br />
<br />
<u>The Important Info:</u><br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "lucida sans unicode"; padding: 12px 0px;">
Encore Stage & Studio presents Pinocchio</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "lucida sans unicode"; padding: 12px 0px;">
WHO: Encore Stage & Studio—Theatre by Kids, for Kids!</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "lucida sans unicode"; padding: 12px 0px;">
WHAT: Pinocchio<br />
WHEN: June 1-10, 2018<br />
Fridays, June 1 and 8, 2018 at 7:30 pm<br />
Saturdays, June 2 and 9, 2018 at 11 am and 3 pm<br />
Sunday, June 3 and 10, 2018 at 3 pm</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "lucida sans unicode"; padding: 12px 0px;">
WHERE: Gunston Arts Center – Theatre One<br />
2700 S. Lang St. Arlington, VA 22206<br />
WHY: Travel with Pinocchio on his road of misadventures, meeting many kooky characters along the way. From Pleasure Isle, to his showdown with the Great Fish, Pinocchio tries to find his way back to his father, Geppetto. Will he learn to choose truth and kindness on his quest to become a “real boy?” Come and see! We recommend this production for ages 4 and older.<br />
TICKETS: $15 Adults, $10 Children, Students, Military, and Seniors. Tickets are available online at www.encorestage.org or by calling the box office at (703) 548-1154.</div>
<u>My Thoughts:</u><br />
<br />
We attended opening night, and even though I went my daughter went to the show exhausted from her school's field day, she was on the edge of her seat through the whole performance. Here were our favorite things.<br />
<br />
1. PLOT TWISTS: OK, maybe I've just forgotten the story, or maybe I thought the Disney version as the ONE TRUE THING, but we were surprised. Multiple times. And the surprises didn't detract from the timelessness of the story, they just added to the fun of the production. I won't spoil anything, but just know going in that this is not the standard telling of the tale.<br />
<br />
2. Costumes: My children both do Odyssey of the Mind, and one of the hallmarks of the activity is that the students create everything - without adult assistance. Someone, Encore has managed in this production to create a few key costumes that perfectly straddle the line of professional - yet possible to imagine making at home. At one point, there is a costume worn by 5 cast members at once, and both my children and I said "WHOA! We should try something like that." So, hat tip to Encore here for spawning a bit of imagination off-stage.<br />
<br />
3. Clever set piece: Again, Encore walked the line between profession and child-created. When people pay for a performance, they definitely want to see something more than a garage show made with old paint cans and wood banged together. But when a theater advertises that they're supporting children, it's appropriate that children are involved in all stages. There is a jellyfish crafted from an umbrella and shiny strips of cellophane that is fantastic, and a car that rides across the stage and really looks fun. Again, my children and I both made notes about how we could adapt something like this for our own purposes.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjejxcct4kea397Yclt_T6L_kzvAWcdaAj2bsutLSMpvLd38zPTAIela9KagFpuzg3WGVSl4lGZbpAThuYvChCjyT21Hzyq0ujT9V38L1_4NVxNYRwLH1uAZBawmmGEZhTLVRJz-kyqxjSq/s1600/pinocchio_2018_032_edited-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1121" data-original-width="1600" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjejxcct4kea397Yclt_T6L_kzvAWcdaAj2bsutLSMpvLd38zPTAIela9KagFpuzg3WGVSl4lGZbpAThuYvChCjyT21Hzyq0ujT9V38L1_4NVxNYRwLH1uAZBawmmGEZhTLVRJz-kyqxjSq/s320/pinocchio_2018_032_edited-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Elaine<br />
<br />
**I received two tickets to this production, and purchased a third. I highly recommend this clever twist on an old tale.<br />
<br />
<br />Elainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7241773904040790203.post-71158659172080321162018-05-23T12:20:00.002-04:002018-05-23T12:20:34.224-04:00Pay-to-PlayI have brought two significant programs to my children's elementary school - Odyssey of the Mind and an annual theatrical production. I'm sure I've babbled on about both in great length, and if I haven't, it's because I'm too busy during the seasons of the activities to get my thoughts down. But this morning, I wanted to scream.<br />
<br />
Our school PTA boasts about the two programs whenever they say what contributions to PTA pay for. The theater program, at least, is one of the more visible programs in the school - mostly because the principal generously allows two afternoon assemblies so the musical can be performed for the entire school. (Our school has no space that a school-wide assembly can take place - about half the school can fit in our multipurpose room where assemblies are held.)<br />
<br />
When the program started, I negotiated A LOT with the PTA about how it would be run, and made several compromises so that they would support the program. I put in a ton of hours, before, during, and after the production. The plan was to hand the program over to a parent who helped me out last year (which was awesome, because my job exploded during the busiest time of the musical and absent her, I would've had to give up sleep and things definitely would've fallen through the cracks).<br />
<br />
One of the issues we discussed when the program started up was whether and how much to charge students. The theater we work with charges about $7,000 to cover their staff and supplies. We also need to rent rooms at the school on two Saturdays (which cost about $400 each) and then there are other production costs like cast photos and a little party at the end. So...let's say it costs about $8,000 to run the program.<br />
<br />
Up to 40 students may participate in the main show in front of the curtain, and another dozen participate as crew for the final two weeks of the show. One of the huge successes of the program is that, in just two years, it has become quite popular - and is fully subscribed. Importantly, it is popular with students who are not necessarily into sports and other school activities. I work very hard to find underrepresented students - though I wish I could be more successful at this.<br />
<br />
I submitted my annual budget request to PTA - and received a note back that the parent taking over the lead of the production and the president of the PTA had decided that a FORTY PERCENT price increase for participating students was appropriate. No reason was given, other than "we felt it was appropriate". So...on net, the PTA is now willing to fund about 15 percent of the total budget.<br />
<br />
So basically - PTA makes the rules, promotes the program as if they are a significant contributor, and really - is barely subsidizing the program. The program moves much closer to a pay-to-play system, than the school wide opportunity I've been trying to build. We should be moving toward the PTA fully funding the program, given how much credit PTA gets.<br />
<br />
It's always frustrating to see programs that I love change. I've seen several programs at the school get downgraded as the original program founder left the school. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it's happening to this one as well - but it's still disappointing.<br />
<br />
ElaineElainehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17379516286835897652noreply@blogger.com1