From the Backpack: Growing up... and Vote for me!

This week's edition of "from the backpack" contains two specimens of Helen's work.

1. Vote for me!

Helen and her friends jump up and down and hug and kiss each other whenever they meet. But a few days ago, Helen was telling me she really didn't like it when certain girls hugged her (and the names were surprising, because they are girls she really likes). It was a little bizarre to hear her say it, because she initiates so many hugs and kisses herself, which in my mind, is why girls are always hugging and kissing her.

Maybe all her hugging and kissing was just politics. You see, the election of the 5th grade class officers just occurred at Connor and Helen's elementary school, and perhaps Helen's mock campaign for first grade whatever (an election made up entirely in Helen's head - there was no actual first grade election) just didn't pan out as Helen had hoped.

Translation: Vote for Helen
I will kiss everyone
please, please
thank you

Maybe she's got big plans to try a new mock campaign strategy next year, and is ready to move on.

2. Kittens

Helen and Connor desperately want a cat or, in Helen's case, a kitten. I have an irrational fear of them and Connor, Helen, and I all have some degree of allergy.

But hey, a girl can dream, right?

This is Helen's "about me" poster that she made at the start of the year. And yes, I can look at it without even thinking about getting her a kitten.

"My mom's aunt's farm is my favorite place  [because there are always barn cats there].
When I grow up, I want to be a cat owner.
My favorite thing to do is play with cats.
If I had one wish, I would wish for a kitten.

Sorry kid, you're going to have to get a new dream, or wait until you move out of my home.

Elaine

My put together self

I wish, everyone always saw the put-together version of myself. The one that shows up confident, ready to work together, and well prepared for whatever twists the conversation takes.

Unfortunately, I think people are seeing more of my not-quite-put-together self lately, which I think happens as a result of my increasing rigidity in thought. Although I try and remain a very open person, I fear that I'm growing less tolerant of ideas that just do not make sense to me. And I am well aware that I'm becoming increasingly likely to fall under the description of "that out of touch crazy lady". I no longer think of all the twists a conversation might turn quickly enough, and at times, I'm so stunned that I just can't respond.

Take, for example, a recent conversation that happened at Connor and Helen's school. During the PTA meeting, the principal mentioned that Arlington had won some sort of grant, and as a result of that grant, police officers would now be stationed at the elementary schools, something that was apparently common practice 10 years ago (maybe as a result of 9/11?). An officer rotates between schools, so s/he is not a constant presence.

I asked whether there had been any discussion of asking the officer to hide his gun, and the principal correctly noted that it wasn't her business to tell a police officer what he could and could not wear. As I looked around the room, it was completely clear to me that everyone else in the room was stunned at my suggestion. Because of course we are happy that the officer is there and of course our children are safer with an officer packing heat that can be seen than any other type of officer.

So I followed up the PTA meeting by emailing the non-emergency address for Arlington County Police. I suggested that concealed carry may be more appropriate for an elementary school. I relayed the dinner table conversation at my home the previous night, which centered around Connor and Helen's deduction that someone very bad must be trying to get into the cafeteria, in order for a police officer with a gun to be needed. I received a call back the next day from the officer stationed at Connor and Helen's school, which in my mind was a complete mishandling of the issue.

For starters, the officer began his remarks to me stating that he understood I was against police officers carrying weapons at school. During the conversation, he made reference to the fact that having a gun locked in his car was simply not as effective as having it in his belt.

Of course, that wasn't my complaint. My complaint was that he ought to be able to conceal his weapon (hmm....are there other security forces that do that? the Secret Service, perhaps? probably many night club and hotel security guards?). Eventually, he changed tunes and his basic argument could be summed up as "I won't look like a real police officer if everyone can't see my gun". His arguments were worded slightly better than that, but barely. But the whole time I was listening to him, all I could think about was "he doesn't even hear me - and I really do think I'm the only person who is concerned that when her children see a gun in the cafeteria, they perceive they are less, not more safe." And I feel so strongly about this, that I have a hard time understanding the other side of the discussion. I hear arguments and I think "that person has no grasp of data and is crazy". And of course, they are almost guaranteed to be thinking "that is an old-out-of-touch-lady with no business bugging me, she is crazy".

Admittedly, I was caught off guard. Had the officer bother to share some sort of statistic or data with me, or some sort of rationale that made any sense at all, I think I would've been more prepared to talk. But instead, I was totally flat-footed in the conversation. I wish I'd had my put-together self present, rather than being tripped up by his only somewhat related discussion, because if I had? When I realized I was talking to the officer - someone who has little to no control over what he wears - I would've told him my complaint was forwarded incorrectly and asked him for the phone number of the person who handles policy questions. I also would've been able to boil his arguments down a lot sooner and point out that he was being ridiculous.

Sigh.

Elaine

Crushing the spelling test

Three weeks ago, in this space, I pointed out Helen's inability to grasp spelling and owning the (very few) words she did get right, rather than focusing on the majority of words which she spelled incorrectly.

Since then, Helen learned to read. As in, she will pick up a book, not act like she is completely intimidated by it - and proceed to attempt to read it, even if it's above her reading level. Watching Connor help her may be my favorite thing happening in the universe right now.

Along with reading, naturally, Helen is cracking the code to spelling. She was determined to score 100 percent on her spelling test this week. So determined, in fact, that when she was sick on Thursday, she insisted that she would be well on Friday because she "needed to take her spelling test".

She was well, so off to school she went. There was a substitute teacher in the afternoon. I was volunteering in the class to put together the information packets and papers that go home each Friday with the students, when I came upon Helen's spelling test. The grade hadn't been recorded, so I couldn't take the paper home - but I did show it to Helen.

8/8

Helen's remark "but I was sure I got 100 percent!".

Me: "You did, Helen - of the eight words you were asked to spell, you spelled eight correctly".

She was so stinkin' proud of herself she called Ed at his office to share her news.

I figure we can talk about math another day.

Elaine

Halloween 2014

Connor decided to be Darth Vader this year (last year he was Darth Mal, which apparently is a very different costume). Because I know almost nothing about Star Wars, I just call all the characters R2D2, which Connor finds endlessly amusing.

Connor started out trying to piece a costume together at Target, but I ended up ordering him a costume online. It made for a lot of fun surprising friends whenever they came over for a playdate. He would quietly greet them at the door. He would often send them home after a quick light saber battle.

The moment Helen opened her Elsa dress up for her birthday, there was no doubt she would join the throngs of Elsas tromping through the neighborhood.



At their class parties, Helen turned into a mummy and Connor won a guessing contest which earned him a jar of candy (it's possible the only person who has eaten candy from that jar has been me!).

Another fun Halloween is in the books!

Elaine

Save time for fun...end of year soccer

Playing soccer is hard work - and the practices can be pretty hard as well. The field size increases each year, so the children playing need to be able to run farther, faster, and generally have more endurance.

Connor has been gifted with some wonderful soccer coaches - who have figured out how to work the boys hard, but also how to have fun. Yesterday, the boys capped off the season by settling a bet with their head coach.

Connor's team played one game on our "home turf" (the elementary school most of the boys on the team attend and where they practice). The head coach told them that if they won the game, they could dump Gatorade on him at a future game or practice. We've had some very cold and windy games and practices since then, but the coach wanted to honor the bet. So yesterday, during the time slot that would've been practice had there been another game and some daylight, the coach told the boys to meet at the school.

He provided a bunch of stadium cups, a huge cooler of water, and stepped in front of the firing squad.

The guy wins best natured coach in the universe for this, and for everything else he does throughout the season. It's a special gift to be able to motivate kids and still have them adore you.

Thanks, coach!

Elaine

Reports from the Lunchroom / The Sharing Table

Connor is not a fan of food. He does not seek it out and he rarely tries new things unless told to do so. Helen, on the other hand, is more adventurous with food. As a result, I'm learning a lot about how the lunchroom at the elementary school operates.

1. The Sharing Table - according to Helen, there is a table in the lunchroom called "the sharing table". The table is near the trash bins, and the idea is that you may leave behind any whole fruit or packaged item that you have not started to consume. At first, Helen told me, she thought the sharing table was just for "all those kids in wheelchairs who come into the cafeteria who always forget their lunch money". Until one magical day, a friend of hers who was at the school in Kindergarten told her that anyone may take anything off the table. KA-CHING! This sent Helen into a bit of a frenzy, collecting items that looked particularly appealing. But, the catch is, you have to peer at the table from your seat - because "the mean lunch ladies do not like it when you leave your assigned table" - and then make a dash for whatever food item you want. Helen almost always brings her own lunch, so she's not actually a contributor to the sharing table - she's just a taker.

Connor's comment when asked about the sharing table: "I guess there's one. I never look at it.".

2. Try New Foods - a few parents run a campaign to "Be Your Body's Best Friend". The campaign centers around improving nutrition; teaching children they need a lot of sleep, few sugar drinks, and limited screen time; and improving exercise habits by encouraging children to walk to school on certain days and run a 1-mile or 5K run at the end of the school year.

One component of the nutrition piece is to encourage children to try new foods. Moms show up in the cafeteria regularly with post of soup, vegetables, and other nutritious offerings and the children my have a sample. They also bring recipes in case the children want to know how to make the food at home. The number of times Connor has approached the new foods table is probably one - enough to learn it was an activity he didn't care for. Helen? She's crushing at the new foods table and even won a pencil last week - which she loved - for knowing some facts being focused on in the campaign.

These moms, by the way, are saints - and the person heading it up graduated from culinary school, which I think is amazingly cool.

3. If you bring your lunch and your friend buys her lunch, you can try and spread out a lot when you get to your seat so that your friend may squeeze in when s/he acquires lunch. Tried and tested by years of students, including both Connor and Helen.

Helen and I used to visit Connor for lunch one or two times a year. With two children, my visit to the cafeteria will be a lot longer, which might do me in.

Elaine

Oktoberfest

I've lost track of how many years we've hosted an Oktoberfest party. There was one year that got skipped due to Connor's terrible sleep habits, and one year that probably should've been skipped because I was so close to going into labor with Helen.

The party consists of three basic elements on our part.

• A moonbounce to entertain many children at once - this year's version was particularly ridiculous, because Ed thought we needed to get something better than the typical bouncer with slide. It worked out really well because the company we rented it from left it in our yard for a few extra days, which allowed the neighborhood kids to have several turns at bouncing.

• Bratwursts (veggie and meat), along with a few other German sides. No photos of these.

• And Ed's homebrew. This year might've had more variety than any other year.

Add friends and the most amazing weather possible, and we have Oktoberfest!

Elaine

Photobook coming...

Tonight I spent the past 3 hours editing a photobook of our family trip to London and Paris a year and a half ago. Per usual, I bought a discount code to use on a photobook months ago - knowing I had PLENTY of time to use it. And also, per usual, I am completing the book just three days before the discount code expires, and I will be crossing my fingers that Ed will find the time to edit the book to get rid of the most egregious errors.

The best part of doing this was looking at a scrapbook that we wrote in during the trip. At one point, Helen commented that children in London do not hold hands - they wear leashes!

I love that kid's observations!

Elaine

Go Big AND Go Home - Connor Pops a 105!

Our house has been super lucky when it comes to illness these last several years. I don't think either child had a sick visit to the pediatrician last year, and it might've been for the past two or three years. Connor had the year where he broke himself regularly, but sickness doesn't seem  to come to us - and when it does, it's more of a one-day, under-the-weather thing with not much of a fever or other symptoms.

Which is why it was a bit surprising when Connor woke up a little under the weather on Tuesday. By the time I met him for an after-school activity he's starting, he looked awful. We left about five minutes after I got there, and when I got home, I decided to check his temperature with my new, fancy thermometer that I received from Braun last week. It's the Braun NTF3000 No Touch plus Forehead Thermometer.

105.

That's good enough to score a red light in the thermometer's indicator, and good enough for me to leave a panicked missive for the pediatrician on the answering machine (though I wasn't quite sure if I should leave it on the emergency answering machine or the non-emergency answering machine).

The nurse called back pretty quickly and advised a lukewarm bath to go along with the Tylenol I'd already given Connor - and told me to get the fever down as fast as possible, and that I should come in at 6:30 to be seen by the nurse practitioner. She also mentioned that the nurse does not need to see the fever in order to believe Connor had it, which echoed advice my brother-in-law has given me. He's an ER doc and regularly, parents come in with children with super high fevers, and the parents have given their kids no meds because they want the doctor to see the fever. Not good.

The fever responded pretty instantly and we ended up not going to see the nurse practitioner until the following day when Connor just could not keep his temp below 103 (which is still good enough for the red light indicator on my fancy thermometer).

Eventually, the fever made its way down to a yellow light, where it settled for about 24 hours and then finally, on Halloween, Connor was back in business. Even Helen chirped a little "woohoo" when she saw the thermometer measure "green".

I'm not required to write about the thermometer, but it is pretty awesome. I can take Connor's temperature without touching him, and I can turn the sounds off so there is almost no chance I will wake him when I take his temperature before I go to bed at night or in the middle of the night. It measured within 0.2 degrees of what the doctor's office ear thermometer measured when we went in to see the nurse practitioner.

I tried to convince Connor that the thermometer was a high-tech brain sucking machine, but he was unconvinced. I guess even though he was hot, he hadn't quite reached delirium.

Elaine

NaBloPoMo Take 8! Kicking it in gear once more: From the Backpacks

In 2007, another woman in my mom's group issued a challenge to herself, myself, and our friend Vickie to try and join National Blog Posting Month. I'm pretty sure I've participated in the challenge to post something every day for a month every year since then - although I know I missed several days the year we spent Thanksgiving in Puerto Rico. I still look back fondly on that trip. I hope we repeat it someday - and maybe this time I can convince my sister and her crew to join us.

I received an email a few minutes ago from another friend in the group, reminding several bloggers in the group who have since taken on the challenge that indeed, November is upon us.

And so it is that I dive off into once-a-day posting for the month, or however long I can sustain it. This year's special feature will be a once-a-week "from the backbacks" edition, which will highlight something Connor or Helen brought home from school in their "Friday Folders". This week, I have two gems.

The first, from Connor. He is not my confidence filled kid, so when he does something to boast about himself, it always makes me smile.

On the back of a brochure trying to explain what a group of science tools is, he had written the following:

"For more info go to www.ConnorIsAwesome.com

Helen's teacher has been trying to convince her that she's a reader. It's tough, because my normally very optimistic daughter is sensitive to the fact that she has befriended the most advanced reader in the class. A. has her own word study group and Helen definitely feels a little inferior. However, Helen has made huge strides in reading, and can absolutely figure out simple texts. Here is the artwork that came home in her backpack. I love the exaggerated frown in the top panel and the joy in the bottom panel.

Elaine