Testing and Context

A lot of attention has been paid to race and standardized tests - including the SAT and ACT. Probably my favorite book touching on the subject is A Hope in the Unseen: An American Odyssey from the Inner City to the Ivy League. At issue is that some students - typically those who are neither white nor Asian, systemically perform worse not because they are less intelligent or less able to learn, but because the tests are so loaded with cultural context that students of other races lack the context to answer some of the questions. Because my own children are white and attend school in an affluent school district, I accept that they are advantaged on tests, which is not to say this is right or good. However, even my over-privileged children will find themselves guessing at times.

Last week, Connor's robust vocabulary included the word "thickens". These words are words given to all students, intending to stretch their vocabulary. The children do not have to learn to spell the words, but they need to be able to fill-in-the-blank to demonstrate understanding of the word.

After several weeks of perfect scores, Connor finally got stumped. The sentence?

[BLANK] thickens when cooked.

• oatmeal
• water
• bacon

Connor eliminated water right away, knowing that you don't cook water and if you did, it would simply boil, not become thicker.

He's both a picky eater and a vegetarian - so doesn't eat either oatmeal or bacon.

He took a stab with bacon (a food he has literally never seen), and was incorrect.

Context. It matters more than you might think. And no, I did not appeal the issue to the teacher.

Elaine

Cherry Blossom Bike Ride

Yesterday, we started what I hope will become an annual tradition - we rode bikes down to the Tidal Basin to see the cherry blossoms and have a picnic. The mostly downhill ride is about 6.2 miles long - by far Connor's longest bike ride. He was tired by the time we stopped for breakfast, but he didn't complain at all, which made the ride pretty fun (although it was on the chilly side, to be sure).

Ed rode lead with Helen on the trailer bike, followed by Connor, and me taking the rear. I wish I were a talented enough rider to snap photos and ride at the same time, because I could share a photo of Helen waving to onlookers as if she was in a parade. Maybe next year, she'll help more with the pedaling!

The blossoms are a few weeks late at this point, but we did catch some in bloom. We also had the benefit of several roads being closed for the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, which made crossing streets a lot easier than it otherwise would have been.

Bravo, Connor! Same time next year, I hope.

Elaine

The Lessons

It's not the lesson we hoped Connor would be learning in second grade, but it's an important lesson all the same. Stay by your partner's side; Let people know you love them; Live a life of compassion; and All living things will one day, die.

This afternoon, parents of students in Connor's class received news that the primary teacher's husband had died. The email noted that news was spreading fast and advised parents to take the opportunity to talk to their children in the evening, so they weren't surprised at school the next day. I was going up to school in a few minutes to pick Connor up anyway, and everyone in the office (faculty, staff, parents) were grief-stricken.

So sad.

For the school auction, the children all wrote essays about what their life would be like in 20 years. I volunteered to scan the essays, and because I have a very slow scanner, I was able to read through all of them during my task. The teacher contributed an essay and the whole thing is about travel she hopes to be doing with her husband. When I first read it, I was nervous - knowing that her husband was ill, but now my heart just breaks in two.

Life is so precious.

Tonight, after we came home from the baseball game and a visit to a new yogurt store, got jammies on and whizzed through homework, Ed held Connor as I told him the news. Connor sobbed. And we took a moment to talk about what a wonderful thing his teacher had done, being by her husband for so much time, even though she missed her class dearly. We talked about how we can send a note to the teacher and if we don't know what to say, we can just write "I love you". We even talked about how even though we did not know her husband, we are still sad for her, because we love her so much. We briefly covered the ground that people sometimes die after being sick for a long time, hoping to avoid anxiety over the next minor illness that Ed or I happen to contract.

May today's rains bring tomorrow's beautiful flowers,
Elaine

Updated April 5:
P.S. This morning, Connor wrote his teacher an "I Love You Mrs. [name]" in a rainbow of colors. On the back, he drew these flowers.

April Fools Day

Connor has been looking forward to April Fool's Day since last April Fool's, and I do believe he got the first trick of the day in. As I wandered from bed to bathroom he shouted "Mom, come quick! There's a raccoon."

Admittedly, my first reaction was "who cares?" but because he was so excited about it, I ran out (even though I knew I wasn't going to be able to see anything because I hadn't yet put my contact in my eye).

And that's when Connor started laughing.

Helen was not as subtle in her tricking. She kept begging me to sit next to her at breakfast. I needed to get out of the house though, so I wasn't going to eat breakfast. Ed intervened and told me the kids were really hoping I'd join them, so I told them I'd have a glass of juice. It was then that Helen came back into the bathroom and said:

Mom - the place next to me at the table is reserved for you.
It is April Fool's Day.
Do not look down when you sit, there are no tricks going on here.

She then shrieked with delight when I sat on the whoopee cushion she'd been gifted as a party favor the day before.

I did get one trick in on the little people.

When I came home from work I said:

Bad news. We're only having one thing for dinner. Spinach.

Their faces dropped, and then they both started laughing - and claiming they hadn't been tricked for a minute.

Happy April Fool's Day,
Elaine

Utility

Economists often talk about utility in the sense of trying to understand how much a person prefers one thing to another. For example, I have higher utility when I eat a tart apple (which I love) than when I eat a mushy apple (which I do not like). Because utility is measuring a set of preferences within an individual, one cannot compare utilities across individuals. How much happiness I get out of something cannot be compared with how much happiness you get out of something. It's just not measurable.

In another light, one could simply think about how another person's happiness cannot diminish my own happiness (there is no known set of happiness that we all draw from, and when it's used up, it's gone). Think about that for a minute. There is enough happiness for everyone.

Having children can be a great reminder of this. The first crocus spotted by Helen at Lubber Run park brings shrieks of joy, and each wave of this growing season has washed in more excitement. The snow drops defy the snow that is falling. The daffodils march right through the dirt and pop out right on schedule, even as cold days threaten. In fact, it seems like only the cherry blossoms are hanging onto their winter rest right now - but that'll change in the coming days. These, too, will make Helen laugh when she's sees them. Her happiness just grows and grows. It's like she knows what so many of us are striving to learn - that there is enough happiness for everyone. And, the crocus she spotted will be magical to the next spotter. That spotter's find is not diminished by the first spotter's find, just as the magic Helen felt was not diminshed by an earlier hiker in the park.

This year, I'm working hard to live in this moment. What I have learned so far, is that it means I have given up jealousy. There is no need for it, after all. It is not even possible to compare my utility and your utility. The things you have will make you happy, and I still have all the things I need for my own happiness. On top of that, I am happy for your happiness.

It's actually easy to give up jealousy. The harder job is teaching Helen and Connor about utility. It's not fair and accusations of one child being treated better than another abound. And so I tell them the parable again - about the workers who came last getting paid the same as the workers who came first. It's not fair isn't the way to look at it at all. Each worker was given exactly what they were promised. If some worked less, it doesn't matter. It didn't change at all the first worker receiving exactly what they were promised.

I have never been so free, or happy. Join me.

Elaine

7th Annual Egg Hunt is in the Books

Since Connor was 1.5 years old, my friend Elaine P. and I have been co-hosting an egg hunt. I supply the plastic eggs filled with candy; she supplies the bunny cake. The hunt was born out of an evening knitting session, where we were tossing around ideas for celebrating Easter. Ever since my house was almost leveled by toddlers running rampant through it finding eggs because it was too cold to hide them outside, it's become an event that cancels for rain. We needn't have worried this year. We had perfect weather.

At this point, Connor and Helen have become responsible for filling the eggs and hiding the eggs. This doesn't diminish their enthusiasm for the event at all. In fact, on Sunday morning, Connor was bragging to me about some of the eggs that he hid in very tricky places but that nobody found except him. Ya think?

We started out with spoon races and an egg roll. It was about this time that I remembered how last year I had decided to make wooden eggs officially marking the hunt, akin to the White House eggs. Unfortunately, it was too late to carry through with that plan. There's always next year, though.

Here's how to have an egg hunt.

First, the eggs must be hidden. We are super lucky to have a neighbor that lets us use her yard for hiding eggs, because there's no way I could keep the hunters out of the eggs if they weren't in a fenced off area.

Pause for dancing!

The spoon race.

Look at that egg fly off the spoon!

 

And I had missed this the first time, but Connor is actually cheering for Helen in this photo. She's determined not to drop it, as you can see from her face. More importantly, she's taken the important step of actually holding the egg with her free hand for added protection.

Followed by the egg roll - second to none, I tell you - even the one taking place today at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!

We had an egg toss - but since I let the kids use hard boiled eggs, it wasn't very funny. Which is probably a good thing, because kids crying with raw egg on them is also not very funny.

And finally, the hunt!

Happy Easter!

Elaine

{this moment} My Natural Dye Project

From SouleMama: {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Share your own moment in the comments at SouleMama.com.

 

 

Strange Letters and Homemade Valentines

Our family agreed to exchange homemade valentines this year. Here's what we all came up with!

The first one I received arrived in my post box. I was almost afraid to open it, and I most certainly did not open it before Valentine's Day! The sender was sure I couldn't tell who sent it, because rather than addressing it to "mom", he addressed it to a misspelled version of my name. Tricky.

Helen decided to use nearly ever inch of my ever-so-precious hand dyed (with natural dyes!) red felt (it's my sign of true love to you, Helen). Red is an extremely difficult color to get, but it's hard to say "work with the cheap stuff - or the easier colors, kid". Because I didn't have enough felt for four heart pouches, she made two of them a dark pink.

She carefully sewed two hearts together, making pouches for all of us. Her stitching is getting to be pretty impressive!

I decided to practice the long-lost art of quilling for my cards. Long ago, my sister and I learned how to take a little metal tool and make thin strips of paper into random shapes. I have no idea why I decided to revive this art, except I'm hoping to interest Connor in it to give him a fun way to work on his fine motor skills.

Ed got in on the action with pop-up cards, which were a huge hit.

Connor wasn't about to get crafty, but he was willing to find just about any way he could to sneak in more of his favorite cinnamon candy - so he wrapped some candy up for everyone (including himself).

Proving that he's not always mean to Helen, he actually wrapped up a candy for her that she would enjoy eating.

Elaine

Snowmobiles and lost teeth

A few years ago, Ed went to Wyoming to ski with his dad. Before he went, I told him "do not, under any circumstances, decide to go snowmobiling in Yellowstone National Park. It is extremely bad for the environment." I might have even threatened him with eternal damnation. You see, one year when I debated in college, the topic was the environment. Another school ran a case to end snowmobiling in Yellowstone and it is the only absolutely true case I ever heard. Really.

I might as well have said "Ed, snowmobiling in Yellowstone is completely awesome. You cannot miss it!" because the first question I asked Ed when he got home was whether he had done this dirty deed, and he said yes. Followed by "and now I understand why you're so against it because it is an environmental disaster". In fact, the company he went with tried to convince him to sign a petition to avoid coming regulations. I'm pretty sure he didn't sign it.

Fast forward many years. We're in Steamboat Springs, Colorado wondering how to spend an off-day skiing. We decided to go snowmobiling, but only after I confirmed the engines are made differently now and they are no longer the disaster they used to be.

Connor started out riding on the back of Grandpa Dick's snowmobile.

 

Helen started out on the back of mine, but that didn't last long because it was obvious to me that if we hit one bump, she'd be flying. So I wedged her in front of me, and we were off!

 

 

We reached a point in the trip where we were in a huge open field, covered by a foot of undisturbed snow. At this point, the guide announced "parents always hate this part, because I tell everyone that kids can drive if they want". And of course, Connor was on my snowmobile at this point, so I got the wild man driver. I almost had a heart attack when we rounded a few corners at top speed.

 

When we finished this part of the trip, I got off the snowmobile to reground myself. It was at this point that I mentioned to Ed if there was any other opportunity for small people driving, he was getting Connor. My heart is just not that strong.

 

As I started to remount the snowmobile, Connor said "Wait! My tooth!" and there, on the seat of the snowmobile was another lost tooth. Connor loves telling this story.

 

Elaine

Numbers...and Possibilities

Connor and I were eating lunch last weekend and we started talking about numbers. Connor particularly loves very large numbers, though I wouldn't say he knows much about them. We started talking about careers one might pursue if they wanted to work with very large numbers - including physics and astronomy.

That led to a discussion about trying to find life in other parts of the universe. Connor thought it might be fun to do an experiment trying to figure out if life existed elsewhere. One way to do that experiment, he reasoned, would be to develop a spaceship that would search for life. Then he noted that he might be the person that designed the experiment, but that he'd probably never get to see the outcome of the experiment, because by the time the spaceship got far enough away to find other life forms, he would have die of old age.

Admittedly, I was briefly blown away by the knowledge that:

(1) Connor recognizes he will someday die.
(2) Connor imagines the possibility of the universe being so big that he could travel as fast as possible and still not get to where he's going in a lifetime.

Not bad for a 7 year old.

Elaine