In August, 2005, a certain perfect little someone entered my life, and apparently there was no room for him and my former best friend sleep, and I was awfully taken by this perfect little someone, so I told my former best friend sleep "sleep, I love you dearly, and I do hope that someday we can be the best of friends again, but for now, I think it's best if we part ways" and of course I added "it's not you, it's me" and then we separated.
Sometime in 2006, my former best friend sleep dropped me a note and asked if I had time for a cup of coffee, and indeed, I was so excited to hear from my former best friend sleep, that I dropped everything, and off I went to hang with my former best friend sleep, and I introduced my certain perfect little someone to my former best friend sleep, and for a while, they got on famously.
But then came 2007 and I got pregnant with another perfect little someone, we'll call her perfect little someone part two, and perfect little someone part two made me really sick, and then depressed because I thought I had miscarried perfect little someone part two, and I felt really guilty doing it, but I had to tell my former best friend sleep again that we would be parting ways because I was so sick. And then perfect little someone part two was born and I felt absolutely horrible, but I had to tell sleep that it was going to be a while before we could be best friends again. As it turns out, perfect little someone part two liked my former best friend sleep a lot more than my perfect little someone did when he was born, but eventually perfect little someone part two had some rough bouts with reflux and then settled into a pattern of waking up every day between 5 and 5:30 and even though perfect little someone part two would go back to sleep after this wake-up until a more reasonable 7 or 8, things still weren't quite right between me and my former best friend sleep, though we were working hard to repair our relationship.
Then Ed and I decided to move and as part of getting our house ready to sell, we had to ditch our lovely king size bed that makes it so when one person moves the other one cannot feel it in lieu of our queen size bed that is not as nice, in order to make our bedroom look bigger. So, until we move, Ed and I will be tossing and turning in what seems like an itty-bitty bed, and I apologized to my former best friend sleep, but said that maybe in the new year we could start something up again.
Last night, I was ALL ALONE in a hotel room. I had a king size bed all to myself. I had two glasses of wine with an incredible dinner. I called up my former best friend sleep and asked if she wanted to spend the night. And do you know what happened?!? She revealed to me that for the last 6 months she'd been having an affair with my husband and I woke up at 4 AM, and 5AM, and 6AM, and 7AM. And I have to say, I knew all along when I started being a bad sleeper because of my kids that I was worried that I would never be a good sleeper again and now I am really worried about that prospect.