A Lesson on Time Management

Randy Pausch has a relatively famous time management lecture.

Finding that lecture and coming to the realization that time was finite (it should be obvious, I know) changed my life. I went from feeling discombobulated much of the time to feeling like I could manage everything I needed to.

You should listen to the lecture, but I'll share with you the point in it that was the most important for me. It's Covey's time management grid.

The grid asks you to divide tasks into four quadrants. First, divide tasks into those that are "IMPORTANT" and those that are "NOT IMPORTANT". Now divide them into "URGENT" and "NOT URGENT". And now use that grid to decide how you're going to spend your time.

Almost everyone would agree that tasks that are both URGENT and IMPORTANT should be done first, and tasks that are NOT URGENT and NOT IMPORTANT would be done last (if you even got to them). But what about the other two groups - do you spend your time on the tasks that are URGENT and NOT IMPORTANT first or on tasks that are NOT URGENT and IMPORTANT first?

The answer? Choose the things that are IMPORTANT and NOT URGENT before those that are not important. In fact, consider crossing everything you have classified as "NOT IMPORTANT" off your "to do" list entirely. That way, everything you spend time doing, you consider important.

I'm not saying I live by this entirely. I get caught in the weeds all the time, but working toward it has improved my ability to focus on work at work and home at home. And most of all, I love my job and my family. The coexist in an acceptable way for me.

The second thing I've had to learn as a mother, is that time is finite, and demands are infinite. And along with this, trying harder doesn't always mean I can accomplish everything I want to. I feel like this is a lesson I learned the hard way. You see, I used to believe that if I just tried hard enough, anything at all was possible. Well, as it turns out, my first defining moment as a mother was learning that indeed, I just could not produce enough milk to feed Connor. I worked really hard, and by the time Helen came around, I could've fed a couple of babies, but with Connor, I just could not do it. At the time, this was devastating to me. But in hindsight, I'm able to look back and say that I gave Connor everything I had. I did the best I could, and I can't imagine a finer kid. We were totally made for each other.

I've grown a lot as a mom since I first took this job. What I know most of all is this. Being a mom is really hard work - and there are lots of right ways to do it. I try to do it in a way that eliminates stress for me, and that means I have to give up on being perfect regularly.
I hope your Mother's Day was as terrific as mine. Helen was so excited, she cried for me at 6:00 AM, gave me a big hug, and then went back to sleep. Ed installed much of our bathroom over the past week and he and the kids greeted me with breakfast in bed. Connor asked me about midway through the day if he could make a candle. When he was finished, he ran into the craft room, created some wrapping paper, taped up the candle, and presented it to me. I love that candle. And for a week now, Helen has been squirreling away random treasures of her and putting them in a big "Mother's Day box". She gave that to me in the morning, and I loved every scrap of paper in it.

Elaine

This post was inspired by the new book "Good Enough is the New Perfect", by Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Hollee Schwartz Temple. I am solidly in the "good enough" camp, rather than the "never enough" camp. I know I've let a million things slide since I had Connor, but I regret few of those things. I received a free copy of the book as a member of the "From Left to Write" book club. If you want the book, let me know and I'll happily pass it along to you.