Forgiveness

Ed and I went to a concert a couple of months ago. There were supposed to be two opening acts – a singer we were really interested in hearing, and a “spoken word artist”. Guess which one was sick and couldn’t perform, leaving the other one extra time? 

Which is how we found ourselves listening to a rather long performance by a “spoken word artist”. I thought Ed might fall over in agony as he tried to determine the appropriate number of beers to consume to douse the agony of being forced to listen to poetry. It might be the one moment in his life he was sad to not have a smartphone to use as an attention diverter.

But something really powerful happened during that performance and I cannot get this line out of my head - weeks later. I think it's the start of some real moving forward in my life.
 

Forgiveness is accepting that the past can never be better.

Since thinking about that - and running for a long time by one's self without headphones (which is how I nearly always run) gives a person a lot of opportunity to think about this - I've started to notice things that used to bother me have been erased from my head. Instead, I find myself wondering what I was annoyed about, and really understanding that some things just don't matter. And better, when I get annoyed with something that has happened, I'm able to move through it more quickly than ever.

I've been doing not only the proverbial work of getting rid of the past, but also have been moving mounds of stuff out of the house (with Ed playing a huge role in cleaning out the basement from boards and other junk left behind by the previous owners). I am lighter than ever.

I've found a new trough of positive energy to set out. But I'm cautiously guarding that energy, lest it be snapped up by people who have misused it in the past.

And wow, am I grateful for the new perspective. With every mile I pound the pavement, I'm letting go of it all this year.

Elaine