It's all in a name

Ed and I had a tough time coming up with a boy's name when I was pregnant. Nothing seemed quite right, until we hit upon "Henry". We'd pair it with Ed's middle name, which is also his maternal grandfather's name, and conveniently enough, is awfully close to my maternal grandfather's last name. The last name would be selected based on the child's birthdate - I took odds, and Ed took evens.

I thought about this name a lot. But then, a couple of months before I was due, I was hanging around a pottery show at my old studio, when another potter and his dog walked in. Someone near me said "Henry's here" and the person next to me who did not know Henry remarked on what an excellent name that was for a dog. And right then, I decided I could not name my child "Henry", because that was a dog's name, not a person's name. A 7 month pregnant woman has a LOT of hormones pulsating through her veins, and at least in my case, they sometimes interfere with rational decision making. I came home and told Ed we absolutely could not name our child Henry and he just sort of nodded because I guess someone who is living with a woman who is seven months pregnant realizes that some battles are not worth fighting for. To this day, it sort of kills me because Connor would be a great Henry - though he is very resistant to the idea of changing his name. Go figure.

My sister's dog's name is Sarah. My sister's dog has been on the edge of death for more than a year - but so far just keeps on going. Just like Henry is a perfectly nice name for a person, I suppose Sarah is too. But when I hear the name Sarah, I think dog, not person. And so it came to be that my parents were sitting in my basement waiting for Sarah Palin to speak at the RNC. I could not stomach the speakers that came before her, so I kept flipping the television to another channel. Every so often, my mom would say "check on Sarah" and of course, I would do nothing, because every time she said that, I honestly thought she was asking me to call my sister and see if her dog had died. I couldn't figure out why my mom was so concerned about Sarah, but it didn't seem that odd to me I suppose.

Eventually, I figured out she was asking me to switch the channel, and eventually Sarah Palin spoke. As she was speaking, my only thought was that she was a joke. She could not possibly be the VP candidate. And the more I learn about her the more I know, I would much rather have my sister's dog in that office than this woman. At least Sarah the dog doesn't lie about going to Iraq, treat a layover in Ireland as a visit, and lie about accepting and wanting earmarks - all important since the first two were used to try and manufacture an international resume and the last because it shows that she has no problem lying - even when the public record shows the contrary.

In fact, probably the only two things these two Sarahs have in common is that neither seems to know nor care what the Bush doctrine is and both tend to act first and think later. Excusable in one of them, but not the other.

But just so you know, Connor and Helen, I am really trying to see the bright side of this. And the only silver lining I can find? I guess anyone can hold an executive office. By current standards, the two of you are already overqualified.