Yesterday, I dropped Helen off at her first sleep away camp. She's been wanting to go for over a year. Last summer, I wasn't quite ready, and the week her friends went didn't work out for her. This year, she had two friends ready to go and there was no way I was stopping her. Off to Girl Scout camp she went.
When Connor first went to Boy Scout camp, Ed accompanied him for the first part of the week. I'm not sure if that's what made me more comfortable about him going away, or if it's because in general - I tend to approach Connor's milestones as "yay! you made it!". In contrast, I tend to approach Helen's milestones as "Ugh! Slow down!". By way of example, when Connor gave up nursing (19 months - forced off because I was sick)? I was pregnant with Helen on the way. When Helen gave up nursing (30 months!)? I knew I would never nurse a baby again. And that's been pretty much the pattern their whole lives.
In some ways, I think it's the difference between an older and younger child. But I worry that it's also that Connor is a boy and Helen is a girl, and somewhere deep inside I just worry about her more. Which of course, isn't one bit fair because of both my children, she's the one much more likely to know and demand what she needs. Objectively, she's better equipped to handle new situations.
It is not the fact that we're separated that makes me anxious. She's been to my parents' home for a few summers now without me, always having a great time. But there, she has Connor, which is often the case. And Connor will stick up for her, help her out, and in general make sure she's doing OK.
Have a great week, Hel! I can't wait to hear your stories. And I promise you now, I will not mention at all how anxious I was for you. Because I know you deserve this.