In between...

Having a 10 and 12 year old in the house means we are basically always in-between something and often, on edge. And I'm not just talking about being between the activities we are running to and from.

For starters, I'm trying to grow independent children. I need them to be able to care for themselves at some point, and at a later point, care for me. One of the things they take on themselves is scheduling their own entertainment. They call their friends, their friends come over, they leave the house to go see friends, etc. And while they are generally very good about asking me before they make these calls or disappear, they ask with an urgency that means "CAN I, AT THIS EXACT MOMENT, HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS". And sometimes, often, I am in the middle of my own thoughts figuring out how I am going to stack my errands into the day ahead, and it hurts my brain to switch and think about their friends. But not only am I interrupted once, which generally comes with me mentally restacking my day so that I can be home if friends are coming over, I am often interrupted two or three times because they get on the phone and must negotiate the timing of their hanging out. Before they had this independence, I would attend to the task of asking their friends' parents if they could come over when I was ready, and the parent almost never answered at the moment of the ask, so it was a long, deliberate, process.

We are also in between being annoyed by the existence of parents and being grateful for the existence of parents. We used to lean hard toward the latter, and we're creeping towards the former. I remember the days of arguing who had the privilege of sitting next to me. Now, I am sometimes greeted with eye rolls. However, the 12 year old will also dance a silly dance as the 10 year old plays violin and we all wait for dinner to cook. We share hand dances in the car, laughter over the Simpsons, and can still run around the house being a little crazy. Guessing all of that stuff will come to an end at some point, but 12 and 10 are still firmly planted in both worlds.

The thing about both of these balancing act - time with friends  / time with family; time being silly / time being annoyed - is that I sometimes feel like I'm getting whiplash as my brain does a little ping pong dance between all these states.

So this morning, when my running partner and I ran across a little creek, I said "you must have so much fun with your children here". And, yes, she agreed, this was a magical spot. A spot where rocks splashed in the stream, leaves floated along, and everyone enjoyed the outdoors. Her children are much younger than mine. I kind of miss the days of knowing where everyone was.

Elaine