Nature vs. Nurture

There's a longstanding debate about the relative importance of "nature" - an individual's innate qualities - and "nurture" - an individual's environment - in determining or causing personal traits. Watching Connor change has me fascinated in this debate. Some things, seem very clear. For example, when he wants to know where his dog is, he holds his hands out in front of him, palms up, with a quizzical look on his face and says "Dodo?". This very clearly comes from his second nanny, Emma, who used to do this. And, when I ask him if he wants to do something, of late, he's taken to saying "shu", which makes sense to me as I often say "sure" in response to Ed's queries. Both of these habits seem firmly entrenched in the nurture side of the debate.

There are other things about Connor that can just as easily be attributed to nature. For example, he's incredibly stubborn, just like his dad (and me, I suppose). Ed and I both feel like this is not his most endearing trait, but it's hardly his fault, so we try to cope with the force he is as best we can. He also seems very smart to us, just like me (and Ed, I suppose). We're a little more proud of passing this on.

But one thing in particular has me troubled. I am much more sensitive than Ed. When it's cold, I seem to be colder than him; when I stub my toe, it seems to hurt me more (of course, I did give birth with NO pain medicine, but that's another story). When Ed and I first met, he thought I was his brother, apparently. He would occasionally try and roughhouse around, to which - in classic wimp style - I would say "ow". Ed would then look at me and say "that couldn't possibly have hurt you" and then he would inflict the same pain on himself, "proving" that it didn't hurt. I had to explain to him that when you do something to yourself, you're expecting it, and it cannot possibly be the same. So now Ed treats me more like the princess I am.

A couple of nights ago, Connor bonked me on the head with his Little People lion. It was some sort of game that Connor made up, to which I told Connor "Mommy doesn't like to play that game. Please don't bonk me with the lion." He then went over and nailed Ed - right in the glasses. Ed also told him it hurt and asked him not to do that. Connor then took a step back, looked right at Ed, and hit himself with the lion, as if to say "that couldn't possibly hurt you". I would've thought a behavior such as this could be squarely attributed to "nurture", but Connor has never seen Ed do this. Apparently, "nature" runs deeper than I ever suspected possible. I'm very scared.

Elaine

Squirt bottle

Connor learned the joy of the squirt bottle today. After a while, I told him he could practice his new skill with Dad when he took a bath tonight. Seems like a good idea to me!

Elaine

Swimming!

A local rec center has a fabulous swimming pool. It has a gentle slope in, much like a beach, which means that Connor can approach the water on his terms, rather than having to get in all at once.

Connor loves this pool. When we tell him we're going to go swimming, he starts talking about water [wahwahwah], and is very happy to put his toys in the swim bag in preparation. Typically, we stay a couple of hours, and usually he would gladly stay longer. Trouble is, after about that length of time, he is thoroughly chilled. That, and all of his fingers and toes look like prunes. Ed purchased Connor a wetsuit after our first visit, just to increase the chance that Connor had of staying warm.


Sadly, on Sunday, the water was colder than normal. This didn’t slow him down at first, but it certainly slowed Ed and me down. And, though we tried to take him out more often than normal, we had a tough time really warming him back up. This meant we had to cut our visit a bit shorter than usual.

Afterwards, Connor was completely exhausted – though that didn’t stop him from playing his new game of “uh-oh” with Ed in the backseat of the car. I think Connor enjoyed it more than Ed, which makes sense since Ed is the retriever of all things “accidentally” dropped.

Connor said his name for the first time this weekend - or at least something that resembles his name. He also decided that along with "dodo" and "bubba" [translation: doggie and bunny] he needs to sleep with "duh" [duck] as well. All I can say is, it's getting pretty crowded in that bed, but he sleeps through the night and is a breeze to put into bed.

Elaine

All things are possible

Yesterday, I forgot to bring my lunch with me to work, so I went across the street to get some Chinese food for lunch. The fortune in my cookie said "all things are possible". And today, at least, it seems that might be true.

This morning, Connor did not wake up until 7 AM. That is nothing short of a miracle.

I am giddy with excitement.

I am certain he is growing because he's also been eating like a trucker, at least at lunch - though dinners, even the ones not consisting of popcorn, have also been going pretty well.
But, lest you get the impression my little man is getting too big, as you can see, he can still fit inside my bathroom sink - and he seems to enjoy it. He can only go in there right before bath because he's likely to douse himself with water, a skill he seems quite proud of.

This morning, Connor learned the lesson that you should push tall towers of blocks away from your body rather than towards your body. Apparently a couple landed on his head - ouch!

Who knew TV could be so great?

For Christmas this year, I made a video compilation of photos from Connor's first 16 months. It's a project I hope to repeat each year, not only because it took me a while to learn to use the software, but it's sort of a nice look back at the year. At first, the video could only be played on computer, but thanks to some work Ed did, it can now also be played on a DVD player. Some odd things happened in the conversion, but it's certainly of suitable quality.

To our knowledge, Connor has never seen anything on TV that actually interested him (though we suspect there was a period of about a week where his last nanny let him watch PBS - he busted her one day by pointing to the remote and saying her name). He's been privvy to a few football games, but after the excitement of seeing a ball wears off, he's likely to just go back to doing something that in his mind is much more fun - like coloring, or reading, or running around wildly. All of this has changed. Ed popped in the DVD of Connor and Connor was completely impressed with himself. Anytime a photo of Ed or I came on, he would identify "mama" or "dada". And, with each new photo, he would light up and say "da" pointing to the screen. That's about 500 utterances of "da".


The best part of the movie was when it got to one of only three live action shots in the movie (I had trouble getting the movie from the camcorder to the computer, sigh). There is a little clip of Connor when he was just starting to walk. He was holding on to Ed's hands, getting ready to walk to me. Connor let go, waved his arms back and forth to steady himself, and then fell right at my feet. Connor laughed. If only Ed and I could go inside Connor's head and know what he was thinking. Was he thinking "Wow, that kid on the screen sure looks funny when he walks" or was he thinking "Wow, I used to walk like that? It's amazing I didn't break my neck." I guess we'll never know.

Snow Day!

There are few things Ed loves more than snow. So when we went all of December without even a hint of the fluffy stuff, Ed was starting to get nervous. But, to Ed’s great excitement, on Sunday, it finally snowed. I was happy for the sole reason that it meant the snowsuit I had purchased for Connor at a consignment sale earlier in the year would actually be used. Connor thought the snow was OK, but nothing all that special. It is, after all, cold and wet. But, it also made the playground equipment very slippery. Connor started to enjoy the snow a bit more when Ed brought us a big container full and we could play with it in our warm kitchen. It ended up being quite a project.

Elaine

I’m not tired!

There’s a poem by Sandra Boynton where the mama bear is trying to get the young bear to go to sleep. Eventually, after hiding in many places around the house, the young bear drops.

Last Saturday, I went to a workshop on how to fire a gas kiln, and Connor and Ed did their very best reenactment of this little verse. Ed tried to get Connor to take a nap, but Connor was having none of it. Connor even went so far as to climb into a clothes basket and cover up, but at the moment he was about to fall asleep, he bolted up. In the end, Ed won the battle when he went to pick me up. After being in the car for approximately 30 seconds, Connor dropped. He was sleeping soundly enough that when we got back home, Ed was able to toss Connor into his crib where he slept for almost 2 hours. That’s one tired toddler.

Where's Connor, Take 2

I’ve been looking for Connor everywhere. Has anybody seen him?


Oh right…I left him with the freshly popped popcorn. That plus some french fries should make a nice dinner. No…I’m not kidding about that. Well, I guess there was some ketchup involved as well (and at least some idiots think that counts as a vegetable). Oh well…at least I got to eat a hot dinner – without a kid on my lap or standing by my chair saying “mama, mama, mama…”.

Red Pants and Mom's Coming!

Last year, my friend Kellee was posted in China. Upon Connor’s birth, she sent us some bright red pants, that presumably children in China wear. Connor loves these pants, ridiculous as they may be. In fact, he has loved them to death. Today, Ed tossed them in the trash. The seams were ripped, the embroidery was coming out, and they no longer reach Connor's ankles. Connor will miss his beloved "Chinese pants". They were always his first choice if they were hanging in his closet.

And, in case you ever wondered what Connor and Ed look like when I'm approaching, here's a good example.

Dear Mims,

Please send more cookies. I only have FOUR left from Christmas.

Love,
Connor