Matilda

A few months ago, my friend Tracy and I decided to mortgage our homes and take our children to see Matilda at the Kennedy Center. We had fantastic seats, which turns out was an even better choice than I initially thought. Prior to entering the theater, there was a warning, mentioning that in Matilda - people talk loudly and in strange accents, and perhaps the audience-goer might like to check out the Kennedy Center's assisted listening devices. They also had printed out sheets with the lyrics to several songs (which were useless because the theater is dark - and though I thought about lighting Helen's sheet with my phone, I decided this was just too gauche).

I later learned, that the Washington Post reviewer had this to say about the acoustics of Matilda:

"... the hall’s sound system or acoustics are so atrocious that they have the capability of transforming merrily expectant theatergoers into embittered Scrooges. I know that I am not alone in my belief that the biggest of the Kennedy Center’s performance spaces needs a thorough rethinking on how it handles large-ensemble musicals, because virtually every time one materializes there, I receive emails from people who have emptied their wallets for the show, only to discover they’ve paid to hear half the lyrics — at best."

Thankfully, we could hear just fine.

And oh, wow, was it amazing. There is something different about a first-run touring cast. It was as good as Broadway. I was in heaven. A few days before the show, I had pulled out a few songbooks and Helen and I had been crooning away. I'm looking forward to getting a copy of the score for this show so we can enjoy some more time with the piano.

It's been awhile since we made it to a full-length musical, and though Connor was once my willing theater buddy, it's not his first choice activity these days. But he didn't want to miss out on this experience, and I was delighted to take my seat between both of my children.

Elaine

New Year's Resolutions

Helen was asked to come up with some resolutions for the year, as well as answer a few questions about the coming year.

Not shown in the photo below, but my favorite of her resolutions was to learn to bake chocolate chip cookies. I remember a friend of mine knew the recipe for cookies so well, she could whip up a batch without even consulting the cookbook. What I can't remember is exactly how old we were. But, 2nd grade seems as good of time as any to learn this basic skill, so we set to work on it last night.

The first batch was greeted with smiles, though this is something we plan to do many more times. Helen was able to do everything except whisk the melted butter and sugar together and take the cookies out of the oven. Next time, I'm hoping she masters the first, but I'm not really ready for her to master the second.

More fun - she's looking forward to...my birthday! Cool! Maybe that's what she wants to learn to make cookies for? Maybe she's looking forward to me being gone? (My oldest niece graduates from high school on MAY 17!)

And she wants to try lemon? This makes no sense. But she knocked it off at Faccia Luna on Saturday night when neither Ed nor I were inspired to cook. She told me she wanted to try something else, but when I told her she had written lemon on  her form, she asked me to pass the lemon, and took a bite.

She's been talking about "Kung Fu Panda", which is one of the many movies I know nothing about, so this one made a lot of sense to me. I think she watched the first movie on New Year's Eve, so hopefully the library will have the third at some point so she can watch it, too.

Things she wants to learn? Perhaps she ought to add spelling to her list. (Actually, she's a great speller, but seems to have missed the mark on this worksheet.). She wants to learn multiplication so she can play Math Dice with Connor, I suspect.

And finally - her travel plans are pretty impressive. We'll hit Prague and Vienna this summer. But we're all going to need to be a little older to travel to Africa or China. Maybe a friend of mine will move there (or back, as would be the case with China) so we can get to one of these places in the next couple of years.

Happy New Year, Helen!

Elaine

Skating

I'm not exactly certain how it started, but at some point, Helen decided she loved roller skating. So much so, that we went to the local middle school gym on Saturday night, which hosts a skate night throughout the winter. Unfortunately for her, that love of skating did not translate into the speedster in the rink she fancied herself. But the numerous knocks to her tush as she hit the ground that night did not result in her fondness fading. In fact, it only inspired her to figure the sport out. (And kudos to her friend, who was falling - hard - all over the place and just kept telling Helen - let go of your mom's hand! It's OK to fall! That's how we'll figure it out! - Note to the universe, I want to emulate whatever is happening at that house, because it's something good!)

Since our skating adventure, I've been letting Helen cruise around on the basement carpet and the kitchen linoleum - two surfaces that are smooth and slow - and she's been somehow convincing her friends to join her when they come for playdates. Knock on wood, I have not had to call any parents to let them know the kitchen counter and their daughter's head had a meeting. I did have one mother pick her daughter up and exclaim that next time, she'd be sure her daughter had wrist guards, elbow pads, and her helmet. This mom is clearly better at the safety side of parenting than I am.

For Christmas, Ed's mom gave Helen and Connor each a pair of roller blades. After seeing mine (circa 1994 - when I was a nanny for the summer! - why did I keep them so long, I do not know), the kids decided they must be easier than the traditional skates. And finally, last week, Helen made a triumphant roll from our house, down the street, around the corner to the end of the block, and back. She wanted to cruise around the entire block, but I reminder her that hills were probably not her friend.

The verdict? She loves them!  Thank you, Grandma Lynn!

Elaine

Jingle Bell 5K

We did, indeed, make our family goal race. We did not get there early enough to join a group photo, but friends we were running with were kind enough to snap us as we headed to the start.

At the start of the race, we saw a favorite teacher. When I met her, she told me she only ran if being chased by a bear - but last fall, she started running, and voila! She's a runner! (I try very hard to not pester her about school stuff, but she knows so much about how to educate children, and she is so very good with Connor, especially, that it is very hard!)

I ran with Helen and we clocked a 35:48 but most importantly - she ran the entire race. Inspired by the numerous dressed up dogs - which we counted along the way - Helen just kept on trucking. I had a ton of fun running with her, and am already excited about our next race together. She barely complained and I only had to sing about a dozen Christmas carols and Taylor Swift songs to keep her moving. She even carried our jingle bells for part of the race! She was having fun, and has spent a bit of time letting everyone know of her awesomeness already.

Connor crossed the finish line at 30:28 (last year he ran this same course at 33 and change). Not his goal, and he was bummed at first, but he basically ran once a week to get that time. After a few hours had passed, he decided he was pretty happy. But before getting to that point,  he had pretty much decided he should just quit running. In Connor's world, there is progress and there is failure. And once you find failure (real or imagined), it is time to turn back. Mostly. This is something I'm trying to work with him on - and running is a good place because I fail to meet my goals pretty regularly. But I still love getting out there.

The best part of this race was that Shake Shack opened early and everyone at the race got a free drink. I wasn't going to tell the kids this, thinking I'd just cash the coupons for lunch someday, but Ed mentioned it - and that was enough to inspire our trek to get our prize.

Same time next year, gang.

Favorite Running Photos

I ran about 1,400 miles in 2015. I ran almost all of those miles with friends, several of whom I started running with during the year. My first run with my current running partners was to go see the Cherry Blossoms - and that resulted in one of my all-time favorite running photos (upper right hand corner in front of the Lincoln). To my eye, we look like Charlie's Angels (a show I used to watch in my piano teacher's basement during my sister's lesson).

Another favorite from last year was our Christmas lights run, which we set off early to do in hopes that a few of the DC trees would still be lit. The sun was rising over the Washington monument, which inspired one of the many "jumpie" photos we took over the course of the year. For whatever reason, my timing is terrible - and I probably don't jump that high, I am regularly not in sync with the other jumpers. But on this day, I nailed it, and the photo totally makes me smile because of the memories that it holds.

That's me on the far right with my belly hanging out!

And finally, possibly my favorite of them all is one we took with Albert Einstein on Courtney's last long run. I miss her, still. But I can't find the photo - so I'll have to just remember it for now.

Elaine

Running with my Brother-in-Law

My sister's husband took up running last year. The great thing about my brother-in-law taking up anything is that he does not mess around. He dives full-stop into the new hobby and doesn't look back. He completed a half marathon last year and is already training for a full in the spring. He's in Kansas, so this will mean he'll be doing a fair amount of training in bad weather conditions. The good thing about that (and I speak from my own experience last year), is that all of those bad days will really show him that he can run in anything.

Over Thanksgiving, my whole family came to visit - which was a huge treat for me. It not only inspired us to go on the Mount Vernon candlelight tour, which I loved and was something new to take my parents to, it got me out the door for a 5 miler Turkey Trot.

I'm not exactly sure what my brother-in-law's goal pace was, but at some point I decided we simply could not spend more than 50 minutes running. And we didn't! We crossed the finish line at just over 49:30. It was such a joy to run with my brother-in-law, and also fun to see a friend out cheering whose home is along the course. At one point, I sprinted in front a bit. I wanted to catch a good running photo - and while I'm not sure I did that, I at least got a running photo.

Here's to many more runs in both our futures!

Before the race.

Guessing this is mile 4.5 or so - you can see my brother-in-law is not dying, though he is definitely hot. The course was very sunny, making it much warmer than anticipated. I figure we can knock it down to 45:00 the next time we run a five miler.

Elaine

Channeling Energy

Connor loves his electronic devices. He also loves jumping on the trampoline, playing baseball and soccer, running around in the backyard, and climbing - but if he had no limits on what he was going to do - he'd choose electronics and then books.

I don't really want him on devices all the time - I still think breathing air outside, interacting with people, and creative thinking are good things. But, I also don't like telling him he can't do his favorite things, especially when he's got a long string of days where he's under the daily time limit Ed and I set for him on electronic game playing.

So, we've opted to try and channel Connor's electronic energy into something more creative than racing pods, blowing things up, and whatever else it is Connor does on his iPad / 3DS / xBox. Enter - Jamtech. This one day program offered Connor the chance to build a video game in a day. It's a long and intense day, and it's really designed for someone older than Connor - though elementary students are invited to attend as long as they have an adult with them.

Ed attended with Connor. Either of us can program, but my sense is that Ed enjoys it more than I do. Also, the event was right after Ed got over being sick, so sitting and coding was probably a better option for him than chasing Helen around all day.

They came home with a game that has been reasonably fun to play. But more importantly, Connor decided to create another game to give to his cousins for Christmas. And since one of his cousins got a laptop for Christmas, it might work out to be a nice little combo.

I was impressed that Connor came up with the task on his own - and then pretty much completed it on his own (though there was a problem moving the game from developer to player mode which Ed and his brother resolved on Christmas Eve).

Here's to more coding in 2016!

Elaine

The Girl Scout Cookie Controversy: Follow-Up

Earlier this week, I wrote about a Girl Scout issue that was vexing my household. I am proud and happy to report two things.

1. After a long discussion, including Helen offering that maybe she could take on the task of making prizes for the other girls who sold cookies, Helen decided she would write her troop leaders a note expressing her disappointment and confusion over the decision follow the parent's wish of not getting incentives, rather than the troop vote. She further decided that she would like to find a troop that was selling cookies for the incentives, and she would sell for them. That way, she would be helping out the local Girl Scouts, even if she wasn't directly helping her troop.

2. An email arrived last night from the troop leader I had conversed with at the meeting and in that email, she reversed course, and decided to let the girls' vote stand.

I am so proud of Helen for being willing to express her feelings. She hasn't done it yet, so I'm holding off on telling her the news above. Even though it won't be her letter that turns the tide, it's a good exercise in activism, and now, more than ever, we need activist voices. Speak truth to power - that's what a debate coach / friend of mine who died a few days ago always said. Encouraging Helen is my small act of following his advice. There's a huge hole in this world left by his death - and a whole lot of people are going to have to step up to fill that void. Thank you, Tuna, even in death your words move me forward. In your honor, I'm trying desperately to raise citizens of the world.

I am also so proud that our troop leadership has reversed course on this decision. It was absolutely the right thing to do. I will break the news to Helen with great joy.

Now...go sell those cookies, girls. And bring home that trinket!

Elaine

A lesson in picking battles, brought to my house unintentionally by the Girl Scouts

Last night at Brownies, Helen's troop learned about cookie sales. They tasted cookies (Helen is willing to eat exactly ONE kind - which is one kind more than anyone else in the household - and I say this only because for years Ed or I would purchase cookies from folks we knew and at the end of the year, I was always throwing the entire box, unopened, in the trash!). They learned about face-to-face selling, phone call selling (we're looking at you, Grandma), collecting money, and making change.

There are two sales options that girls can participate in. The first option allows the troop to keep 68 cents for every box sold (cost per box is $4). If the troop chooses this option, the girls can work towards various prizes, most of which can safely be classified as junk. If you sell 175 boxes, you can get a t-shirt - woot! The second option allows the troop to keep 73 cents for every box sold, but the girls cannot get any of the incentives.

One of the troop leaders explained the two options, in what I thought was a slanted way in favor of the higher payout, and the troop voted.

The vote was 9 - 4 in favor of incentives.

So the troop leader and the volunteer leading the meeting re-explained the two choices, discussing how it wasn't easy to get the prizes, and another vote was taken. This time, the vote was 7 - 6 in favor of incentives.

And then the troop leader said she would leave out the sheet with prizes and the girls could look at them and see just how  many boxes they had to sell to get a prize - and then they could vote again at the end of the meeting.

As an adult in the room, I was actually feeling a lot of pressure to convince Helen to vote for the money, since this was clearly the option the troop leaders wanted. I resisted, because this is a great opportunity for Helen to assert herself, and she doesn't need a mother second guessing her choice.

I ended up hanging out near one of the troop leaders later in the evening, and we discussed the issue briefly. I told her that people make crappy decisions and sometimes we have to live in those decisions in order to make better decisions next time. I told her the troop had voted twice. The troop leaders should honor that vote. Then the troop leader told me the older troop she helps out in had never had the option to get the prizes, but that she was convinced at the cookie meeting she attended that the girls should get to vote and make the decision - it was their cookie sale.

The meeting ended and the mom who had explained cookie sales to the adults (the cookie captain - best title ever!) while I was with the girls came in and told me I needed to sign another form - the form saying I agreed to not participate in the incentives. So I told her - the girls voted to get the incentives - twice, in fact. She looked at me agog and said the parents had unanimously voted not to get the incentives. (Surprise!)

The troop leader confirmed that yes, the girls wanted the incentives, and then the four adults involved in cookie sales had a quick, confidential pow-wow and our cookie captain presented the form to me again stating that the parents had voted the other way and we were skipping incentives.

Helen was visibly annoyed, and I wasn't willing to take the heat for this one. So I told her she was being asked to sign the form as well. I explained the form indicated she agreed to not get prizes. She reminded me they had voted for prizes. I told her, loudly - because I am ungraceful like that - well, the parents voted as well and I guess only their vote counts.

The cookie captain was now getting a little nervous and said "maybe we can get everyone a prize for participating". Um...that's going to cost way more than the nickle per box you're foregoing, lady. Because you're going to feel compelled to get something better than what the kids would've gotten. And, what are you trying to teach here? I'm confused.

I don't want the prizes. A large part of my mothering these days consists of throwing out crap like what Helen would win for cookie sales. But this whole event still burns me because in my view, Girl Scouts is supposed to be a safe space for girls, where we foster independence and hope they feel empowered.

But in our troop's case, we won't even let them make this simple decision.

I'm a bit aghast that the girls were presented with a decision - voted twice, and were overruled by parents who were not even in the room with the girls.

So this morning, I decided I would talk to Helen and let her know the following.

1. What the troop leaders, cookie captain, and anyone else involved in the over-ruling did was wrong.

2. She has a variety of responses open to her, and we can talk through these and any options she comes up with.

• Refuse to sell cookies. She's being asked to sell under conditions that are different than what she agreed to.
• Write a letter to the troop leaders and let them know how she feels about the over-ruling and ask them to honor the vote - or ask them to be more honest in the future about whether they want the girls' opinions or not.
• Decide she doesn't care that much and let it go.
• Use this as a lesson for future meetings where she can ask the question - before a vote is taken - is this vote final? Does my vote count? Are you planning on doing whatever the parents want anyway?
• Find a troop that is getting incentives and help them sell cookies instead.

I think she'll probably just let it go. But I'm happy to have this as a teaching moment, and also deeply disappointed that such a moment about authority is being presented to us in a place I would've thought of as a much safer space.

Elaine

Baseball...

Winter has just begun and already Connor's baseball team is being put together. Though (almost) all of the former team members are in the same grade (there is a rock star younger sibling who plays on the team), the age ranges make it such that the boys could qualify for a couple of different leagues. In one league, the boys would stay together, in the higher league, the boys would be split up. Our coach, who has committed so much time to all of these boys over the past several years, has decided to stay in the lower league, where the boys can stay together. I don't know what the other boys will be doing, but I am so grateful that Connor has the opportunity to have one more spring with his coach.


I feel confident in saying that Connor will not become a professional baseball player. I'm fairly confident, in fact, that he won't play into high school. I'm less certain about what will happen in middle school. (But given what a confusing time this is for kids, I'm sticking with a general policy of not trying to guess about this piece of the future too much.) Which just means that this might well be his last season of baseball.


Every time one of my kids gets close to a "last" of anything, I get a little sad. I think I'm sadder about this one than most because Connor really does love playing ball, and a part of him still really wants to be a professional baseball player. Which just means that if this ends up being his last season, it might also be the season his dream dies. I have, of course, told him there are other baseball related careers that might be good paths - including becoming a sabermatrician or agent. I have yet to convince him these careers would be very cool, but maybe thinking about them this year will give him a soft landing.


Elaine