{this moment}

From SouleMama: {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Share your own moment in the comments at SouleMama.com.

 

Puddles

I have two boys that live in my house, and the natural byproduct of that is an occasional drop or two of wetness on the floor near the toilet. Not pleasant, but bearable.

Twice in the last year, I've found an actual puddle. I don't even want to imagine how this happens - because the girl in me tells me that this means the boy in the incident is within inches of peeing on his own feet. And that thought makes me squirm.

Last night was one of those two nights.

I put Helen in the shower and then called "men of the house", to no avail.

So I stepped out into the dining room and called again for both men to meet me in the bathroom. When they arrived, I pointed to the puddle and mentioned that one of them appeared to have missed their target, and one of them needed to clean it up.

At this point, Helen called out from the shower "It wasn't me! I SIT!"

Connor and Ed looked at each other, spent a little time trying to blame the other, and then settled on a game of Rochambeau to determine who would clean. Connor threw rock which Ed covered with paper. Connor quickly called out "best two out of three". Trust me when I tell you this is just about as exciting as it gets at my house.

Tension was in the air. Connor threw scissors and Ed covered with rock. Connor's fate had been sealed.

Ed went to get the cleaner.

Connor balked. No way was he cleaning that puddle up.

Ed sprayed the cleaner.

They argued some more.

Finally, I left the room and the puddle was cleaned (I presume by Ed, but I'm not certain, I had left by that point). I did hear a lot of "well you have to carry the toilet paper" and "that is disgusting".

(My point, exactly!)

That evening, I told Ed I couldn't believe how long he and Connor had spent determining who would clean the puddle. Ed's response?

"That kid lost fair and square."

Elaine

If things like this happen in your house as well, hop on over to the Honeywell Facebook page http://maid-in-america.pgtb.me/lGGhkc and like Honeywell. Then enter to win monthly housecleaning service for a year at http://maid-in-america.pgtb.me/ 

*I have not been compensated for this post. The contest announcement landed in my inbox the morning of the above incident. Seemed like fate was telling me to share, even though it lessens the likelihood that I will win the above prize myself! Good luck, all.

Soccer - an Update

A few days ago, I was riffing on Connor's terrible soccer team and pronouncing my expertise at rooting for terrible teams. Well, apparently my snark is all the team needed. Last Saturday's score? 6 - 5 - with Connor's team in the lead. That 5 for the other team includes one goal scored by Connor's team. That 6 for Connor's team lacks a goal that Connor came within inches of making (DOH!). The other teams 5 also excludes a second goal that Connor's team almost scored on itself - on a breakaway, no less. At the last moment, a team member caught up to the runaway team member and kicked the ball to the side, avoiding the almost certain goal.

Here is what my untrained eye noticed.

1. It's easier to not have 15 goals scored against your team if you focus on kicking the ball to the side of the field when you're not on your goal side, rather than always playing in the center. The boys seem all over executing that lesson.

2. Even when your kid's team wins a very exciting game, soccer is still very boring to someone who grew up rooting for baseball. I suspect the inverse is true for people who grew up rooting for a soccer team, and now find themselves watching little league.

3. Popcorn is a great, nut-free, post-game snack. It was our turn to bring snack, and it was a huge hit.

4. If you leave the jug of lemonade you made for the game in the refrigerator, it is very difficult to serve at the end of the game. Luckily, I noticed the missing jug at halftime, and Ed saved the day by running to a nearby grocery store and snagging new lemonade. We now have A LOT of lemonade in our home. This pleases Connor.

5. Maybe, just maybe, having grandparents in town is what we need for all of Spring, since Connor's baseball and soccer team won. Coincidence? I don't think so. Clearly, my parents are the lucky talon.

Action shot!

I have no idea what's going on, either.

So...same time next week, Mom and Dad?

Elaine

Tunnel Slides

I do not like tunnel slides. I feel like I always get bruised in them by ramming into a wall. I don't like the feeling of not being able to escape.

So when Connor first tried to lure me down a tunnel slide, probably about 6 years ago, I said "No. My bottom is too big. It will get stuck.". Noting the seriousness of such a situation, both of my children have spent their lives agreeing that I should not attempt a tunnel slide.

Many times on the playground, they have said "don't ask Mommy! Her bottom will get stuck.". Many a mother on the playground has looked at me and started to defend my bottom, thinking my children were being extremely rude. I would always look at them and say "I hate those things. I believe there is a good chance my bottom will get stuck. I do not go on tunnel slides."

Today, we were at Chuck-E-Cheese and Helen wanted to crawl through the tunnels. Feeling it was the lesser of all evils surrounding me, I joined her. When we got to the slide, Helen reminded me that my bottom might get stuck.

"Yes, Helen, that would be a problem. Maybe I should just crawl back down the other way."

And then, in a burst of intellectual energy, Helen said "wait, Mom, turn around and try and stick your bottom just a little way down. I'll let you know if it looks like it'll get stuck."

I performed the maneuver. By this time, Connor had joined us. He and Helen pondered the situation seriously, and finally pronounced that they thought there was a pretty good chance I could go down the slide without my bottom getting stuck.

And then Helen helpfully said "Don't worry, Mom. If you get stuck, Connor and I will come down behind you and shove you out!"

Thankfully, no children had to push my bottom down the slide!

Elaine

Sports

The sports teams I have rooted intensely for include the Kansas State University Wildcats, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Kansas City Royals, and the Washington Nationals. I tell you about those first three so you can truly know that I know losing in sports. I have lived 0-for-Autumn, an uncanny number of first round play-off losses, and "mathematically eliminated" from the play-offs...in August. I understand when someone talks about "next year's high draft spot" they are displaying a fierce sense of optimism - which inevitably follows a coach's tears on the news.

Because I have rooted for these teams, I also know how sweet a turnaround can be. When my beloved Wildcats finally beat those Cornhuskers, I didn't stop smiling for a week. I have been known to tell people, as they mock me for my hometown teams, that the joy of the turnaround makes it all worthwhile. I'm not actually sure I believe it, but there is a certain amount of glory when your (horrible) team is over-performing and everyone who sees you makes note of it. They want to share just a teeny bit of your excitement.

Last Fall, Connor played soccer for the first time. Judging by the score and the extra man that nearly always got to play, Connor's team was awful. They might have scored fewer than 5 goals the whole season. It was almost a blessing when Connor broke his arm and we no longer had to sit on the sidelines. I was having fun messing around with my camera, but I could see it was starting to get to Connor.

I know losing, and this losing was bad.

Spring season, the boys picked up right where they left off. Only now, rather than mostly taking it in stride, they seem to be a little upset about the situation. One parent complimented her son and he retorted "how can even say good-job when we lost 15 - 0"? I was never more thankful for my own non-complimenting policy / very specific complimenting policy. I could very sincerely say to Connor "I noticed when you stuck with the ball and kept trying to push it toward the goal!".

Parents, now, were also starting to get annoyed that the talent wasn't leveled a little better. The coach of the other team from Connor's school actually came up to me and started apologizing about the game, but I just smiled and said "Connor gets over these things pretty quickly. These things just happen." That is because I have a strict policy of not criticizing volunteer coaches. I have no idea what it takes to coach a soccer team. I'm going to do my best to not make it more difficult. Also, it's not this guy's fault Connor's team stinks, and he's always SUPER NICE to Connor at practice, as is Connor's own coach.

But last Saturday, Connor missed the game due to two conflicts. I emailed a friend with a son on the team and she emailed back that she thought they won, though she wasn't certain! It must have at least been close enough that the boys' were in it, and must have scored several times.

At first, I was really excited for our team, hoping that it portended great things in the future. Connor would love for his team to win - or even score! But then I immediately thought - oh man, that team must be worse than our team. Poor kids. That must be awful. And I realized I was wishing the other team would've won.

I guess some of us are just supposed to root for losers. But did you hear the Royals were in first place?

Elaine

{this moment}

From SouleMama: {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Share your own moment in the comments at SouleMama.com.

 

 

Helenspeak: Dinner and New Words

Helen is, by far, a better eater than Connor. She's SLOW, but she generally likes food more than Connor, is more willing to try new things, and only refuses to eat a small number of things (including drinking milk, but that's a two year battle that was given up quite a while ago at this point).

Recently, Helen has decided she doesn't like shrimp. This is a problem, given that we eat shrimp at least once a week in our house. A couple of nights ago, she stared sullenly at her plate and exclaimed:

"DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO EAT THIS PESTICIDE SHRIMP?".

Elaine

Poisson de Avril

In France, the First of April is marked by children trying to stick fish on others. Our next au pair got the first joke in, by sending these fish.

Later in the week, Helen made a river and a pond for the fish to enjoy.

I have a feeling we'll all be wearing fish next April!

Elaine

{this moment}

From SouleMama: {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Share your own moment in the comments at SouleMama.com.

 

 

 

Important Numbers

Yesterday, Helen's friend G came over for a visit. She came into my office and requested I write her phone number down on a piece of paper. She even told me what numbers to write, and she was correct! At present, nobody is admitting to teaching her this little fact, but it's probably good she knows it. 

When I was finished writing, Helen handed the paper to her friend and said "Here, take this. That way, when you're older and don't know how to call me, you can remind yourself." I died of cute. 

That afternoon, G's mom reported to me that she had a history of throwing away his little tidbits of artwork and scribbles. Aware of this history, G was protecting the number with his life and told her she could never throw it away. NEVER!

We both died of cute.

Elaine